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It sounds like you need to find a new lawyer because the ones you are dealing with have provided NO helpful advice for you in any way and you are just wasting your money with them at this point. It is not illegal at all for you to video tape or record your own child because You are the legal guardian and are the one that would be giving consent for your child in any situation. I would video tape your daughter saying these things anyways and keep them to yourself in case there is a way for them to be used in court for your case later on because this is definitely going to be a battle in court eventually. Also, YOU need to start documenting with pictures and full detailed written reports of Everything that happens to your child. For example, take pictures of every bruise and every mark when she comes back from the dads house. Be sure to write all the details about it, time, date, where the injury is in the body and everything the child says that happened while at the dads house during that visit. Keep these documents for yourself because you are going to need them later, especially in your own defense since the dad is trying to accuse you of doing these things. It really sounds like your lawyers are not being a help at all so seriously look into getting legal advise elsewhere. Also, any time that your kid comes home with complaining that dad has "messed" with her you need to take her to the hospital for an evaluation, each and every time she complains, because eventually they will find something that can be proven against him if he is harming her privates. Trust me he won't be able to cover it up every time. What really makes me angry about your post is you saying you took her to the docs and they documented blood and bruising coming from your child's privates but they didn't report it to the authorities? That is very Unusual. It seems if they found something like that they would be obligated to report it, so why did they not do anything?! Also, if the dad is abusing your child and she comes homes with "marks" or "bleeding" and you take her to the doctor to get checked in the doctors would be able to tell you how "fresh" these injuries are and document them for you which would be able to prove that the injuries did not occur from you since the child spent the last few days with the dad. Doctors can tell time frames of injuries, so this would prove the injuries weren't from you, if you take her for the evaluation as soon as you get her back, don't wait a few days to do this because then it makes it harder to prove the bruises didn't occur in your time.
Get a journal, take pictures of every mark and bruise she has when she comes back from dads house. Write in that journal every detail about the mark and every detail that your daughter talks about. Take notes of how your child acts when she comes back from his house, and any other important kind of info you can think of. After you have gathered up enough info, such as journal entities, pictures, doctor visits, GO to the police and to CPS. If there is any way possible to get a few people in the room (1-2 others beside yourself and your child) and record your daughter talking about what her dad does to her then those people can be your witnesses that you did not force your child to say these things.
I'm sorry this is happening to you and your child. I hope both of you find peace and happiness in life. God bless you both. I hope I have helped a little.
Please contact a child advocacy center!! Unfortunately these cases do take time because they are so sensitive. The child is more often than not the only witness and when they are 3 it is very difficult. A trained forensic interviewer at a child advocacy center should interview the child. Child sexual abuse rarely leaves any physical evidence. Many people believe you can simply tell a child was abuse just by looking but that is not true.
This case is a bit baffling, and unusual. I understand you don't want to write long posts, but there are some questions that have been asked but not answered:
1. Can you get a CASA volunteer? (Not a lawyer who is the child's guardian ad litem, a lawyer doesn't have the time a CASA volunteer has to get to the truth).
2. The hospital documented bleeding and bruising on her vagina when she returned from a visit?
It is very frustrating , to be sure. Tragic that IF this child has had physical signs of abuse and still is not being protected. and I think if it were me i might go to the office of my member of parliament, at this point.
It seems very odd that a parent cannot video and audio tape their own child in their own home. I would definitely talk to the lawyer about it though.
Also,
I think we need to hear what were the circumstances when this baby girl "opened up" about the abuse exactly? How many times it happened. What you did on each event.
So the hospital has documented bleeding and bruising on her vagina? I'm just trying to be clear.
have the camera fixed by specialized policemen or technicians, have them tried before use , it's an expense worth it
Sorry for my English, I am Italian
I cannot think this hideous crime can go on being perpetrated in this very moment . Tape his house, this is destroying the little girl psichologically day by day! Something has to be done right now.. I am putting myself in this mother's shoes .. It s unbearable
I think we need to hear what were the circumstances when this baby girl "opened up" about the abuse exactly? How many times it happened. What you did on each event. Therein lies the answers to your questions about video taping. Simply, have a hidden video camera easily able to be turned on, in case the child opens up and talks about what has happened on the visitation.
So the hospital has documented bleeding and bruising on her vagina? I'm just trying to be clear.
Is her guardian ad litem a CASA volunteer? (Sorry to echo Annie's question). You get a CASA volunteer in there, and the truth will very likely come out, whatever it is.
Best wishes. Are you grandma?
It's extremely tragic how mothers are treated in this situation. Even 20/20 did an exposé last night on how mothers who go forward with abuse charges to a judge sometimes get thrown in jail themselves while the abuser gets the child. How and why is this happening in our society?? This is why this case is so difficult. We definitely do not want this monster to get full custody. The DCFS agents and the guardian ad litum are either overworked or have no clue how to protect children. Are there any other avenues we can take? Someone recommend to me to take this all the way up to the FBI sex crimes division, would that help or hurt her case?
Yes. But we had the hospital document it. We have been wary of doing any video taping ourself because 1 privacy of the child and 2 the abusive father is alleging the mother is coatching the daughter into say it & we don't want for it to seem that way at all. ... How would you recommend doing such an interview/ documentation? Just the daughter talking to the point briefly, or maybe a group setting with people who she is comfortable opening up to? She has opend up to mother's father & family about it in private.
And worse: There has been incidents where the Daughter came back from visitation with him (over the weekends) with irritation, bleeding, bruising, etc.,
You take videos of the child with the newspaper (proof of date) before she goes to her dad and then afterwards.
Did you get the bleeding from her vagina???? on tape or in pictures? Did she go to the hospital when it happened ?
Ditto, a picture is worth a 1000 words. Get it on video tape. Great advice AnnieBrooke. Once it's on tape, then you have a case for fulll custody with no visitation, a criminal proceeding against the father, and only supervised visitation if the father has paid for his past mistakes criminally and has gone through extensive rehabilitation.
Because the child IS comfortable talking about this openly (on tape), she will save herself. It is very difficult to coach a child about sexual abuse at age 3. so there will likely be a positive outcome.
Please let us know how the videotaping goes, and further what the courts will do with it.
This child needs a child psychologist immediately upon your giving them the videotape.
Does she have a Court Appointed Special Advocate? Has the mother videotaped her child saying what happened to her at her father's house? Has the mother hired a private investigator?