Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Nose piercing at 16?

I have 2 ( well actually 3 because I have had a child for about a year live with us now who's mother is on drugs & doesn't take care of her 3 children. They all live at different houses with friends) teenage daughters. 16,15,& 14. They are great kids. They play sports, make top grades, don't get into trouble & tell me probably 99% of everything they do. I feel like as a parent I'm lucky to have teenagers who have felt like they can tell me anything. I'm not a normal overly strict parent. I listen to their problems & I also allow them to do small things because I feel like by allowing them to get some of that teenage rebel out of them it keeps them from going totally wild & go out drinking & smoking pot. I took my daughter to get her tragus pierced at 14. Then at 15 I took her to get her belly button pierced (her first year as a highschool softball player). She now at 16 wants her nose pierced & a tattoo as well. I don't have a problem with the nose piercing but I don't know about the tattoo. I like the tattoo but I just think shes too young for that right now. Regardless, I get alot of judgement on my parenting style as it is so the nose piercing will cause alot of talk. I live in a very small town in the South that is very conservative. What do you think of the nose piercing at 16? Is it too young? Am I wrong?
3 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
My mom let me get my first piercing at 15, my eyebrow, but was very strict about no tattoos until 18. Her explanation was, plain and simple, "Piercings can be removed like they never happened. Tattoos are permanent and what you want on your body at 16, you may not want at 30." She also explained the process of removing the tattoo. I'm glad she did that, I spent the next 2 years deciding what I wanted, got it done for my birthday and am now 32 and have no regrets :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dont worry about what other people think u seem like a great parent has far as the tatoo id be fine with it as long as its somewhere she can cover it up and itsnt something that would be something she would most likely regret
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
If this were my kid, I'd talk to her about what it takes to laser off a tattoo.  Maybe even have her talk to a dermatologist.  (Lasering works, but it is said to be pretty painful, and of course this would be elective so means it would cost her some bucks if she ever changes her mind.  And if she did change her mind about having it, it would likely be after she is 21, and out of her purse to pay for the removal.  My sister has a cartoon character on her shoulder, there goes her wearing sleeveless clothes in the summer at her job, which is a far more important [and therefore conservative in dress] job than she ever foresaw she would want or get back when she was a kid and got a tattoo in an obvious place.)  Anyway, also tell her that I can say from my own experience that I got a tattoo when I was not having much fun or forward movement in my life, and the moment that changed, I wanted to get rid of the tatt, which made me think that the urge to mark yourself up like that comes from boredom or staleness and not because it is empowering.  There are other was to deal with boredom and feeling static.

The other thing you could to is tell her candidly that you will get a bunch of judgement as a bad mother if she does this.  Let her know you won't stop her on this basis but that if she would not mind waiting a year, you would count it as a bit of a favor.

But -- that all said -- if my daughter were 16 and wanted these things, and I was pleased with her grades and her general approach to life, I would figure it is none of it something she can't back out of later if she decides it makes her look inappropriate for the life she live or wants.  My husband and I went through this in a tiny way when our son wanted to grow a mullet when he was 9.  Mullets being way, way out of style, and nowadays only associated with monster-truck drivers and WWF wrestlers.  But when you have a good kid and this is what he wants, and it is his little form of requesting autonomy and he deserves to feel like he can be in charge of himself, sheez, who really cares what other parents think of mullets?  Or nose piercings or tattoos?  

Different answer if your daughter was 13, I'd say forget it, and if she were 18, I'd say have fun.  At 16, have the more nuanced discussion with her, but finally do let her put her little stake in the ground because she has been a good kid and kept a good attitude and tried hard in school.  Tell your snooty friends that she gets good grades and isn't sneaking out to drink and keeps you up on what is going on in her life, and they will understand.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
Thank you so much Annie Brooke! I've told her any tattoo you get will be where it can be covered up for church & jobs. She mentioned her ribs. The tattoo said "breath in confidence, exhale doubt" I do like it but I just think she should wait until she's 18. But the nose piercing is still up in the air & I'm starting to lean towards yes. It grows up if she decides one day she doesn't like it. And they have them sooo tiny now you can barely see them. One of my friends, who thinks I'm crazy for letting my girls have a little freedom has a daughter that is in between the grades of my two. She is always talking & bragging about her  rules for her daughter. Well mine came home Fri after ball prac & she had told them she was going to be a bad girl this weekend. They didn't figure it was going to be anything considering how sheltered she is. She then announced that she planned on smoking pot with 2 of the older softball players that weekend. I was shocked!! But I thought to myself, this parent of this girl judges me on my parenting decisions & yet my kids are at home with me 90% of the time. They may have friends over but they aren't out doing stuff like that. So I don't feel like letting her get her nose pierced is nothing compared to what other kids are doing & although my parenting may be a little more open minded than some, I feel like I have alot more knowledge of what my children are doing.
Getting a tatto is pain full.

You are reading content posted in the Parenting Teens (12-17) Community

Top Parenting Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
6 essential foods for new moms (and their newborns!)
What to expect in your growing baby
Learn which foods aren't safe to eat when you're eating for two.