Aa
Feeling horrible!!
I'm a single mom of 4 beautiful kids. Unfortunately, I've been married and divorced twice. I'm dating a really great man but it's not a relationship of love and I'm not sure if he will ever love me. However, now I'm pregnant. Last year I got pregnant and felt that another child shouldn't have to suffer through life with a singleand overwhelmed mom, so I made the terrible choice to have an abortion. I have regretted that decision from the moment the abortion process began and I live with that pain every day. I cannot abort this pregnancy! I cannot live with more torment and guilt such as that.
The problem is, only a couple of people know about my abortion so this isn't something I can explain to everyone. Not to mention I'm single with 4 kids. So I'm scared to tell people, especially my family. They are all so perfect and live such happy and amazing lives. I've had the worst luck out of us all (5 girls) when it comes to marriage and family. They were so very judgmental when I told them I was pregnant with #4.
I wanted to have my tubes tied after #4 but there was no way I could afford it. That was 4 years ago.
I guess my question is...does anyone else have similar uneasiness about telling their families? And does anyone else have a liter of children such as myself? Have you ever dealt with these things being single?
The problem is, only a couple of people know about my abortion so this isn't something I can explain to everyone. Not to mention I'm single with 4 kids. So I'm scared to tell people, especially my family. They are all so perfect and live such happy and amazing lives. I've had the worst luck out of us all (5 girls) when it comes to marriage and family. They were so very judgmental when I told them I was pregnant with #4.
I wanted to have my tubes tied after #4 but there was no way I could afford it. That was 4 years ago.
I guess my question is...does anyone else have similar uneasiness about telling their families? And does anyone else have a liter of children such as myself? Have you ever dealt with these things being single?
I think the bigger question is how can you begin to live your life differently so you don't keep making bad decisions.
Yes, there are lots of women in your situation who struggling with the consequences of poor decision making. But you didn't get here by yourself, there were men also making those poor decisions.
Your first paragraph is pretty illuminating - I'm dating a really great man but it's not likely he'll love me. Really great men don't repeatedly have sex with, and impregnate, women they don't love.
Your sisters probably weren't "lucky" in arranging their lives "perfect" as you say, but rather, they learned how to make good decisions and by and large thought through their life steps.
At this point, are you open to their advice? In the future, when you are dating some guy are you open to listening to whether your family likes him?
The thing is, this amount of difficulty didn't happen in a day, or with one error - it's a lifestyle of doing things you probably knew at the time (or were told) were not a good idea.
I don't mean to sound harsh - your life must be very difficult. But you're the captain of your ship, and you've got 4 (and maybe 5) children who are relying on you to give them a good start and a good role model, and so far that hasn't happened. It would be very helpful if you could find someone you trust, and listen when they give you advice about mistakes you are about to make.
Yes, there are lots of women in your situation who struggling with the consequences of poor decision making. But you didn't get here by yourself, there were men also making those poor decisions.
Your first paragraph is pretty illuminating - I'm dating a really great man but it's not likely he'll love me. Really great men don't repeatedly have sex with, and impregnate, women they don't love.
Your sisters probably weren't "lucky" in arranging their lives "perfect" as you say, but rather, they learned how to make good decisions and by and large thought through their life steps.
At this point, are you open to their advice? In the future, when you are dating some guy are you open to listening to whether your family likes him?
The thing is, this amount of difficulty didn't happen in a day, or with one error - it's a lifestyle of doing things you probably knew at the time (or were told) were not a good idea.
I don't mean to sound harsh - your life must be very difficult. But you're the captain of your ship, and you've got 4 (and maybe 5) children who are relying on you to give them a good start and a good role model, and so far that hasn't happened. It would be very helpful if you could find someone you trust, and listen when they give you advice about mistakes you are about to make.
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