Delivery room?

[peanuts_mom1223]

I'm having my daughter in January and I believe only 2 people are allowed in the delivery room. Well off tops I only wanted me and my daughters father present but then I decided to include my mom without asking my daughters father, selfish I know! But she's been a better support system then him and when I mentioned only wanting me and him there he got so hurt. Now he's upset because he wants his mother in there and I don't feel like she should be. Mostly because this is her 20th something grandchild and she's been in the room with all her kids and this is my moms first! Am I wrong for not considering his and his moms feelings?

[CynCure]

You are not wrong at all! He needs to understand that you are the one physically having the baby and whatever you feel comfortable with goes! I went through the same situation with my first and I was so glad I didn't give in to my husbands wishes. I was so scared to be exposed that I only wanted him in the room. Eventually I decided to have my sister and my mom as well but only if they promised to stay on either side of me and not get a full blown view of the labor. I also took prenatal classes and had him come with me. Thank god the instructor was very blunt and let all the fathers know that their key role in the whole labor was to support us in any way possible. She even went as far as to tell them that if they didn't support us in the way we asked in that moment they could easily be kicked out of the room themselves because we had the ultimate say in every aspect of the birth! Lol After the classes he backed off because he was really educated in what labor really was and realized how vulnerable a woman is during the whole process. I think the videos also helped because it wasn't like the movies at all! Maybe take him to some classes and see if that helps.  Good luck!

[lorinewmum]

No, you are the one giving birth so it is completely your decision about who you want in the delivery room with you. For me personally I would have my mother and husband there. I did this for my first and hope to have my mum over again for this one. Maybe not in the delivery room this time since I now have a busy toddler that might need looking after but if possible, I want her to be there. Speak to your partner, that it is your mum's first grandchild and that you would feel more comfortable with her there. Nothing personal, its just what you need and that you know would relax you on that day for example. Best of luck, these things are tricky, people are so easily offended but its your day and your wishes.