I do think you should talk to a counselor. I think it will help you find some closure. and by closure, i mean understanding that it was not your fault, that many kids at that age might think that , what turned out to be abuse, is a normal part of growing up and having their world change including sex. There is evidence even for young girls that sex is a big part of life, and so it's not that odd that a young girl might think "well this is what it's all about". I think since you've brought it up here that it might be time for you to think about talking to the counselor. It might also shed some light for the counselor to know of these events, and maybe there is something that can be done about it now. I don't know. They would. It is most important that you do learn how to protect yourself moving forward, from all predators, and there will be young men and maybe women that you meet in the future that are sexual predators masked by their age and the fact that they are hormonal. Young men are not monitored and taught how to treat a young lady in many cases. Their imperative is to act on their hormones. You are at the age where you need to have a list of qualities in both boys and girls in order that you are safe and it is worth your time and this is a huge part of being healthy and safe into maturity. i think a counselor would be your BEST bet. Please let us know how you're doing? We care. Liz
Laura, I think it's best for you now to move on, and take this as a powerful lesson. You are entering young womanhood and you will need the skills of being able to stand up for yourself and assert your rights.
You didn't do that with your friend, and in fact, kept returning to her home, even though you weren't welcoming of her advances.
You're so young right now, and need to develop those social skills that make others know you won't be taken advantage of.
I suggest you select certain girls that you're acquainted with who have pleasing personalities but whom no one would take advantage of, and follow their example. Watch what they do and emulate that.
Best wishes.
I guess in your shoes, I would perhaps seek to talk to a counselor. I think some touching that happens among kids is playful or harmless and other kinds of touching is harmful, perhaps a counselor could help you sort this out.
I do not think you being more or less passive (in that you didn't hit her or run away or scream) is pretty par for the course, a child doesn't know what it really happening to her and doesn't know she is even allowed to have a reaction. You didn't "let her do it" with full knowledge. Plus, she coupled the action with threats, making it more frightening. You were the victim and certainly did not collude. The counselor might also be able to help you decide whether to reach out to the other girl.