My 4 year old step son is abusive..

[Lashiaz21]

Can some one please help. I have a two year old daughter and four year old stepson. We just got custody of our stepson about three mouths ago but for about a year he is very abusive to our dogs and my daughter. I recently cought him with our 9 week old puppy in a head lock smacking the crap out of her head. Notting it is not the first time he has hit the puppy for no reason. He also smacks and hits my daughter. He also will not help her when she is hurt, falls, gets stuck in places should not be ,ext. when asked why he is doing these things and not helping he says I'm mad, or I like watching.... We have tried talking and just about every kind of discipline. He and my daughter are not aloud alone due to the issues. He does not act like this at school, grandparents, or aunts and uncles... Please help me I am at a loose..

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds like he *is* mad.  A lot of times when someone is harmed at a young age, they have a lot of rage that takes them a lot of time, support and hard work to solve.  My cousin was adopted from an orphanage in another country where he was not attended to emotionally at all.  He was in a crib and nobody would come if he cried, the back of his hair was worn off from simply lying there, he would get fed and his diapers changed and that was it.  He came away very damaged, and they adopted him no older than 18 months old.  His question to his mother later on (when he could articulate it) was, "Why am I so mad all the time?"  But of course, he had the right to be.  You are quick to label the child abusive (and it is probably one way to say it) but don't talk about what he must have gone through to get that way.  Kids aren't born that way, you know.

Is there any way you can get to a family counselor or someone in the school system for advice?  Naturally, you have to protect the animals and your other child, but this child, you can't simply point the finger and call him bad, you have to help him too.  If there aren't any resources at all, please talk to a public health agency.  You need help and especially he needs help.