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how can i help my self eat

lately Ive been having a hard time eating every kind of food make me want to be puke the only food Ive been able to eat is fruit. i all way been able to eat a lot of food but now i cant look at food with out wanting to puke and watching commercials about food makes me cry because I'm so hungry but when i try to eat i feel sick i don't know what to do my mom doesn't understand that i want to eat but i cant i feel so alone and i hate myself for feeling this way i want to go to a doctor but I'm scared there going to put me on medication that well make me worse with out knowing my family info and how the medication might afflict me Ive lost to many family members for pill that where supposed help manage there depression but it only made it worse i cant feel this way any more i work 3 jobs and i cant have anything holding back
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Doctors can't force you to take anything you don't want to.  They can give you tests and make a diagnosis and make a recommendation, but it's up to you if you want to follow those recommendations.  If you have such a large family occurrence of depression, you might be developing it too, and it also sounds like you have some anxiety issues which might be involved in being afraid to go to the doctor.  I would ask, what happened in your life emotionally or physically when this first started that was different than your usual life?  Also know that when people say they "can't" do this or that is also an indication of a budding anxiety problem.  Because, of course you can eat anything you want, and you know it.  If you puke, you puke, it's really not a big deal.  But you do need to know if you're puking because you've developed an irrational attitude toward food or because something is wrong with your heath.
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And also, taking pills isn't usually the proper first step in treating depression or anxiety, therapy is.  
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