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Avatar universal

13 & pregnant.....

i don't know how far along i am, but 3 days ago i took 3 pregnancy tests (because i missed my period twice) and they all came back positive. i don't know what to do i just need someone to think and tell me what they would do in this situation. (i'm either going through with the pregnany or having an abortion) those are the only things i'll do. i'm not going to carry this baby for 9 months to give it up for adoption because the whole thing i'm worried about is the pregnancy itself. just. help.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi sweetie.  Oh, so young.  In this situation you need the help of your parents if you plan to keep the baby.  Having a baby at 13 is life altering for sure and most likely will not be a welcome surprise to your parents.  You have the option to let them help you raise the baby or giving it up for adoption. As far as abortion, there are clinics that do work with teens.  I can't, as a mom myself, say that you should go to one without a parent.  But I do understand your dilemma.  Nothing changes the trajectory of your life more than pregnancy and especially an unplanned, early teen pregnancy.  

All of the points above by swelter outlying why teen pregnancy and having a baby in general is hard are very valid and should be thought provoking.  

Let us know if we can help you in any way even if just to be an ear.  hugs sweetie
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Avatar universal
Hi,

I'm sorry about the distress you have to face with this situation so young. Have you spoken to your family about this? Confiding in a parent or trusted relative, or any other trustworthy authority figure is very important. How about approaching an organization such as Planned Parenthood?

I cannot tell you what to do, but I can point out some facts to you - a baby is a LOT of work, physically and emotionally, and a person your age may not have the emotional capacity required to raise a child of her own. Secondly, it takes a toll on you physically, esp when you are still growing up. You may have a very risky pregnancy, lower the chances if having a healthy baby etc.

Thirdly, a baby needs A LOT of resources including money, time, emotional investment that you may not be in the best position to do.

You have to think about yourself first, since if you aren't a whole person, chances are that you won't be able to raise a baby into a well-rounded, healthy individual. This also brings up the question about support from family members. Raising a child by yourself at your age will not be easy physically, financially or emotionally - you will HAVE to involve either your family or baby's father's family or both. Is that do-able for you? It also wont be socially acceptable (I can only speak by and large about general societies around the world). You'd be doing things in your own life such as education, personal and physical growth, etc. harm.

To conclude, if I were you, I'd seek the help of a trusted, sensible adult and abort. Having a baby and raising a child is a HUGE responsibilty that even a lot of adults fail at or are inadequate at. Because having a baby is only a miniscule percentage of your job. Everything else is the more difficult part, where you have to be ultra-responsible.

Wish you all the best and please do keep us updated, take care of yourself and make the right and wisest choice for your own self and your baby. Hugs
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