why do I cling on to my relationship when I've been treated like a fool

[modalee]

I've been with my partner for 11 years we have 3 children.
we don't live together anymore after a physical incident 3 years ago. He comes every weekend and we live as a family then I have asked him to move home but he always has an excuse as to why he can't yet.
I have had an issue with him locking his phone putting it on silent when he's with us taking it to bed, shower etc he says it's his phone none of my business. I had a gut feeling he was hiding something and
recently our sex life has changed.
while he was asleep I managed to look in his phone and found messages to other women asking them to come to his to watch films and chill and saying georgous wanna meet up when I asked him about this he went mad coz I'd looked in his phone he is now ignoring me and I have no answers as to why he did this. I know the relationship has to end as I can't live with no trust but the pain is unbearable I'm inconsolable, thinking of him every second can't see a life without him why do I feel like this when he has wronged me has anyone else had this experience head says over heart says stay in relationship ??

[specialmom]

So, what is the physical incident that you are ready to forget about?  I only ask because you indicate it caused him to move out.  

What is your verbally agreed upon relationship together? Does he say you are an exclusive couple now?  Have you talked about this?

As to your question about why it's hard to let go, well.  You have been with him in one way or another for long time and have children together.  That's pretty bonding.  I'm sorry you are hurting hon.