Teen Son Urinating in Bottles and Hiding the in His Room

[Blessing2017]

My 15 year old son was adopted at birth.  We area trans-racial family of 6 and three of our four children are African American (including my son).  He has been urinating in water bottles and hiding the bottles throughout his room.  When asked the first time he said he did not have time to get to the bathroom (which is right outside his bedroom door).  He stopped for a bit, but we just found over half a dozen bottles full in his room.  Some were even blackish in color -- presumably from being hidden for quite awhile.

He is a happy, outgoing child. Excellent athlete. He has some learning issues for which he gets added assistance during school.  He excels at sports and does seem to get frustrated that school is hard for him and does not enjoy a "helper teacher" looking over his should in class, but, other than that, he seems very happy and well adjusted and has many friends. He is the youngest of four; though my oldest has twin daughters and they get a lot of the attention now.

I am at a loss for why he continues to do this and am hoping someone has some input.  Is it medical? Psychological? Anxiety? Normal?  Please help!

[HannahAnnaEn]

I doubt hes abusing drugs or anything of the sort. When I was 16 i used to do the same thing. Im a girl. I was too lazy to leave the room at night or sometimes just didn't wanna get up and deal with seeing people outside of my room. If he has older siblings that maybe bug him since hes a teen he might just be avoiding contact. I ended up fine although i was much cleaner by cleaning out and disposing them right away in the morning. Boys aren't as clean I guess. Anyway I stopped after a year out of embarrassment. I knew it was weird. As for avoiding my siblings, i was a teen and you know how most older siblings are with their younger siblings. I also had a sister who would sit outside the bathroom and would giggle and talk to me while i used the bathroom so I just hated going in there out of being uncomfortable. It was all sillyness for her but I truly used to get so irritated about it because i never felt comfortable.

[RR2562]

I am a clinical pediatric neuropsychologist and this behavior alone is not diagnostic in any way. However it is a sign that you should have your son evaluated by a professional. This can be due to anxiety, OCD, autism, ADHD, and a host of other behavioral challenges/disorders. Without a thorough history and full evaluation- no one here has enough data to tell u if this is normal or not.

[hangman1951]

I know that children of a lot of low-income, single-parent families in my hometown are not allowed to flush the toilet EVERY TIME they urinate to save water.  And they do the same thing at their schools as well.  I tend to believe your 15-year-old has taken this to an extreme.   You should find a good time to pull him aside and talk WITH him about this before this gets any worse.

And PLEASE notice that I encouraged you to talk WITH him - not TO HIM.   It does need to be a CONVERSATION and NOT a shouting match.

[Simplejoe]

I am currently 16 I pee in bottle cause it’s kinda scary thinking something my pop out or scare me this mostly came from when my mom and dad would scary me as a child they would tell me to grab something for them then scare me on the way back so now I have it internalize that something’s going to scare me in dark hallways or rooms

[Steph8379]

No I’m sorry I hate to scare you but it may mean your teen has been abused by cyber pedophiles! My son was it started at 13 and I became aware when he was 15. Started from online virtual chat and mindcraft when he was younger. Than they asked him to get discord to do videos and chats asking him to dress like a girl! He was just a child we have been working through this. But I found so many bottles of pee in his room at that time and learned of the Golden Shower. Look it up! It’s not just some innocent thing it’s very scary you need to stop all virtual and internet access for your child with out supervision.

[Paxiled]

Just to say, because this happened to your child doesn't mean it's what is happening to every child who does this.  Can't really generalize that way.  Each person has his own experience.  That doesn't at all mean it didn't happen to your child or that the parent here shouldn't investigate it, but you know, golden showers is having a woman urinate on a man.  Don't know how you do that to yourself without smelling like you did that.

[Steph8379]

It’s a very big thing and no one else shared that. Not it’s not normal in any sense of the word. Something is extremely wrong with someone’s phsychy if this is happening and she needs to get help because it is a VERY STRONG possibility that some sick pervert out her boy up to trying that just like mine did. Or something is not right with her boy. That’s my opinion. And the golden shower is also men duh.  And they put it on themselves in a video if it’s virtual hello. YOUR RIGHT ITS DISGUSTING. But so is this entire post!

[Christina923]

Now I'm extremely frightened. My son does the same thing.  He's 13 and has been doing it for a few months now. He says he does it when he's in the middle of a game and doesn't want to loose the match.  I assumed this was true now I'm not so sure.

[hangman1951]

Yes, a lot of individuals who are "into" gam-playing and don't want to lose a player's life will urinate into the nearest bottle.  

[nmggd_]

I’m a 17 year old boy so hear it straight from someone who has done it a few times and my mom has asked but I tell her it’s because I couldn’t make it in time also.. but the truth is sometimes we try so hard just to not think of something scary at night Lol this makes me sound like a weenie but when u think of walking into that dark hallway u can’t help but think of something watching u and then by that long your too creeped it to leave the room but have to pee so bad so u see a water bottle and go.. that’s the truth

[slyinasia]

My 14 year old son is doing this, too. He said he was didn't want to go downstairs to pee, but I found bottles he had kept or "hidden" throughout the house so it seems he has some dark desire to do this. When he was younger (8 or 9), he did things like this. I thought he had ADHD at the time, and a web search found that this is not uncommon for such kids. After all, I never was sure if he had ADHD, and he grew out of most signs.

I am just wondering why this started again. He has not much serious trouble at school, but he does do mischievous things around the house and can't help from eating snacks even though he knows he will get caught. Sometimes he hides the evidence of taking snacks (wrappers) and hides them in places he must know I will find in a few days as if he wants to get caught.

Do you come to any resolution?

[Sandman2]

Adhd is still a possibility.  How is he doing in school?

[Loganjay]

i used to do this as a child/teen couldn't be bothered to go to the toilet and also wet the bed

[Christina923]

My son does the same thing. He has an extreme case of ADHD and hides candy wrappers everywhere. He also pees in bottles which I thought was extremely out of the "norm" but am glad to hear I am not alone.

[Bahznl]

First of all, I would recommend not making too much drama about it. As you write he's just a perfectly normal, happy and healthy 15-year-old boy without any serious issues. Just keep calm and you're able to maintain a stable, safe and supportive environment for your family, and actually enjoy it.

I also think it's advisable to apologize to your son, for invading his privacy. The bedroom is supposed to be a safe place, to resort after all kind of experiences outside that room (like school or a busy family life) and have some time for yourself, maybe experiment (e.g. with behaviour) and to keep yourself together. Of course, you can make some rules about keeping the room clean, but that doesn't mean you have to inspect the entire room.

If you want more information about his wellbeing, you shouldn't reside too inspecting his bedroom, for multiple reasons. The major one probably being the most important aspects of his life are outside that room. You better invest in a good relationship with your son.

In regards to the bottles of urine, I think the confrontation wasn't such a great one, unless you want to alienate him from you. You basically confronted him with your authority over his room, as well confronted him with how awkward he behaved. Fact is he knows how awkward it is and just like you he probably doesn't have a good explanation. You really have just a lot in common there.

Yes, he may have psychological issues, but it might as well be him enjoying his privacy in his room for no apparent reason. Even if it's a psychological issue, this bedroom activity is probably not his biggest issue. Nonetheless, boys that age do all kind of strange and awkward things, and same goes for girls given the response of HannahAnnaEn. (I can give a list of the things I did that age, but you probably get the point.) I don't think he necessarily deserves to fall victim to amateur psychoanalysts on this board.

As said. You better invest in a good relationship with your son and listen to him, rather than observing him from a distance. Let him know you're proud of him, you trust him, you don't judge him and accept him. (By let him know I literally mean know, not tell..)

[Sandman2]

   Well, lets take a simpler approach.  You said that, "He has some learning issues for which he gets added assistance during school.  He excels at sports and does seem to get frustrated that school is hard for him."   Does he have ADHD?  It is not unusual at all for kids with ADHD to get so into something that they forget to pee.  Its a bit more unusual for someone his age - but, if he happens to be into video gaming late at night...not so unusual.
  The fact the bottles were full, would suggest to me that he had a full bladder and simply couldn't wait any longer.  I would put a lot of stock into his, "he said he did not have time to get to the bathroom".  

Of course, he could have a UTI which a simple urine test would solve.  

I am also the CL for the ADHD forum here ...http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
If you have any questions regarding the possibility of ADHD or need more information on it (this is stuff you should know about if he has it) please feel free to post either here or there.  Best wishes.

[specialmom]

Oh my gosh, mom to mom, that's a hard thing to find.  Hoarding comes to mind and some people will hoard urine.  Do you think that is going on?  Could there be another reason why he doesn't want to leave his room to urinate?  

Here is a bit of a scary thought.  I only bring this up because it is a reason why some people store urine.  Drug abuse.  Drug testing.  In case they need it themselves or others to borrow.  And believe it or not, some use urine for making of meth.  Now, I really hope this isn't the case for your son!

If he has ever been physically or sexually assaulted, this can also lead to this behavior.  If he's had a threat in your home from someone or it has happened in his past, this could cause him to store his urine rather than using the bathroom.  

My suggestion is to start seeing a psychiatrist/psychotherapist to discuss this.  OCD/Hoarding or other psychological issues could be at play here.  And a random drug test might be helpful also.  

Let us know how this goes.  It's a lot to deal with.  hugs

[AnxiousNoMore]

No one can diagnose from here but here are some guesses. He is only 15 so it may just be a weird fixation that a kid can get stuck on, but hopefully some event makes him grow out of it.
He sees other kids using the toilets or urinals at his school so that coupled with your home setting should be enough visualizing that he would not do this.
I would take this up with his school counselor or teacher or a therapist for advice, because it may take a professional to come up with an intervention to end this behavior. Until then, try to not get upset over it because worse problems can exist if that is any consolation to you. I Googled and one couple said their 26 year old house roommate does this, and a friend I visited had his fridge full of empty milk bottles, so purposeless containers seem to be a hang-up for some people.