Anxiety causing a mental block where i cant fall asleep.

[cam94z28]

Just to preface, many years ago I got in a bad state where I was completely panicking myself into believing I wouldn't sleep. Every time I'd try to doze off, I'd jerk awake. I ended up being awake for nearly 8 days. I had no other mental problems other than maybe my Serotonin being out of whack due to the anxiety. My sole problem was that I convinced myself I couldn't sleep, which manifested itself and actually kept me from sleeping. I was on anti-depressants and the occasional ambien for 3 years just for this problem.

Eventually I was pretty stable, and sleeping normally. I decided I didn't want to be on anti-depressants, and successfully stopped taking them. I have been pretty normal for several years. Occasionally I would end up having a little relapse, usually due to lack of sleep or stress, and need a night of Ambien to pull me out of it.

Fast forward to now. About a week ago I somehow ended up pushing earwax too far into my ear with a Q-tip, and literally couldn't hear anything out of my left ear. This really freaked me out, caused panic, and everything came back from before with a vengeance. I finally went to a walk-in clinic, where they flushed it out and everything was fine, physically. The anxiety, however, has been nearly constant ever since. Trying to sleep without ambien is like there's a mental wall, where I just lay in bed with the same random repeating thought or image in my head, while anxiety increases, never able to sleep. If I do drift off, my mind catches the act of falling asleep, and wakes me up, over and over. Ambien allows me to sleep for several hours, but it is low quality sleep ~8 hours feels like ~3. Once I wake up after a few hours the process repeats until I take more Ambien.

I'm trying to get back to normalcy without going on anti-depressants again (especially without insurance), and I think a few days without ambien will help. Taking Ambien always makes me feel terrible for the next day or so, which doesn't help with anxiety when I'm in this state. I feel like my serotonin is draining again like it did previously, due to constant anxiety.


Anyway, are there any tips, anyone can give on how to calm my mind or make it mentally OK to fall asleep without sleep anxiety building up in my mind?

[Morpheus1517]

Your permanent solution is to treat the true root cause for this, which you've fortunately identified:  anxiety.  And likely a considerable amount of stress about the idea of sleep as well.

Typically unrelenting negative thoughts and worry about sleep fuel this, leading to the kind of hyperaroused state you are describing.  The best and most permanent solution is to treat those negative thoughts cognitively.  In other words, learn to let them go.  By doing so, you take the pressure off yourself, and re-enable better sleeping.

You can learn to do this through CBT sleep training, which incorporates cognitive methods, in addition to good sleep habits.  You might ask your doc for a referral, or if you are the self-help type you'll find much good info -- including full CBT sleep training programs -- online.