Addicted to alcohol but the family doesn't know

[LucasWuts]

Hi there
I have a perfect life, the one I've dreamed about. I have a beautiful wife and little daughter. However, the problem is that I'm addicted to alcohol. I have a lot of work and it makes me nervous. To calm down and feel more comfortable I drink. For now, it happens once or twice per week. I got drunk at the bar and have a night at the hotel, telling my wife that I'm working. She used to this. But I feel terrible lying to her. And I'm afraid that my drunk nights become more frequent. I love my family and don't want them to become disappointed in me. I read on Addiction Resource that there are outpatient rehabs which allow combining work and treatment. I suppose it is a great option for me. I hope it will help to keep my addiction in secret. However, I also dought whether I'm doing right not telling my wife about this... So, it is very difficult for me to make a right decision.

[atthebeach]

How are you doing?

[specialmom]

Hi lucus.  Issues with abusing alcohol are often secrets.  You are not alone.  And that you are scared and reaching out is excellent.  Just that step can be life changing.  Talking to other people and connecting is part of getting support and this is a great place to do it as it is anonymous.  We don't know you and are simply here to help. Never judge, never tell you we have all the answers but to listen and make sure you know that there is support out there for changing things in your life.  

You can tell us anything and we will still support and care about you.  Come back and tell us how you are doing, okay?  

[atthebeach]

Hello Lucas & welcome.
It is apparent that you are feeling the guilt of both lying & drinking. Many times those close to us know that things aren't right anyway. We aren't usually as  good at lying as we think we are.
You already know that your drinking will escalate. Also when drinking our inhibitions are lowered and You could make other serious mistakes that you would regret.
You stated that when you drink it calms you down and you feel more comfortable.
The problem is that feeling doesn't last and then you need more.
I would highly suggest that you speak with a counsrlor, therapist, psychologist to discuss your nervousness and anxiety  that is causing you to drink.
Do you exercise, hike, swim,pray  meditate?
Those would also help with your anxiety.
Many times our spouses and loved ones will support us in our recovery.
There is always hope.
Keep the faith.
Debbie