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973741 tn?1342342773

Extension of Distancing to April 30

How is everyone feeling about this?  I know it is for our own good, but it is depressing.  :>(((((  

I'm thinking we're going to all need to support one another (from a distance) in terms of our mental health.  
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1415174 tn?1453243103
It is hard but we are keeping busy. How are you? A reminder for me is my friend just got positive for Covid19 and has been very ill for 12 days. Today she was hospitalized. She is feeling better on oxygen.
mkh9
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134578 tn?1693250592
I can also tell my amygdala is reacting to the free-floating stress in these times of coronavirus, because I've been wanting a gin & tonic lately. I'm a very light drinker -- can count on the fingers of one hand the hard drinks I have had in five years, I don't drink wine, and maybe have had four beers since last summer. But suddenly I'm going, "Wouldn't a gin & tonic be nice?" Stress works in mysterious ways.

Someone wrote "We're all going to be fat alcoholics before this is over," and it really did make me laugh.
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Avatar universal
It is best if you can set house rules about the sleeping hours, although some people can't just switch their sleeping schedule so I'm not saying that will work if that is the case with your son. I was thinking a few days ago that have wasted too much time daily reading about Covid all over the world, then end up working out at 10 PM when I would have been in bed at that time a few months ago. So I'm laying down some personal rules about reading about this situation to free up time.
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Oh, we can set house rules all we like, and he will abide by them also, in that he gets his jammies on, brushes his teeth, and gets into his bed. Then he lies awake for three, four, or five hours. Sometimes he comes in to tell us he has been awake the whole time, sometimes he turns on his light and reads, but sometimes he just does lie there, and it's pretty miserable for him.
When I was a kid I had that problem on a regular basis.  My parents would put me to bed, and I'd lay there because it was too early for me to go to sleep.  Eventually, I'd fall asleep but I've just always, or at least since I was an infant, been on a later schedule.  My Dad was that way too, and so he just lived on less sleep than others.  I have had to do that as well.  Both of us became nappers on the weekends to make up for it.  I read that time of birth has some correlation to our natural sleep schedule, and I was born around 2AM, but I don't know if there's any real credibility to that theory or just coincidence.  But it is true that different people have different sleep cycles, that sleep cycles change at different times of our lives, and that humans never went to bed as early as most of us think.  Since the mastery of fire humans have been staying up late talking around the fire, getting up early, sleeping in the heat of the afternoon, and then getting going again.  It's only recently that we've created societies with "business hours" that we've tried to force people into uniform sleeping habits that are quite different from our natural clocks.  In other words, most people go to bed too early for their circadian rhythms.  Have no idea, though, if this is happening in this case but it might be.
If the world didn't have the enforced schedules it does, I would be a very happy person. I would naturally shift into a 10 am - midnight time frame myself (could happily live my life there). And it's miserable for all of us, for us parents to have to be the heavies in getting our son up (for school) in the mornings and then also yelling at him to get to bed at night, just so he can get up for school the next day, and for him being the object of all this. Now with the coronavirus, he will be learning online, so for the first time we can drop all that tension around getting to sleep, but staying awake until 5 am is still not very acceptable if we ever want him to be awake when it is daylight out.

My husband says he used to be a later sleeper and later wake-r as well, but this was changed forcibly for him by being drafted into the army. Since that time (40 years or more, now) he's a total lark and conks out at 10 pm. I won't do anything that drastic to our son, but do think from my husband's example that one's clock can be reset. But I am not going to force anything drastic on him, since I personally don't think the arbitrary schedules of society make sense for all people.

Another thing happening now is that this corona enforced time off is stressful for him. I'm sure anxiety is adding to the disrupted sleep patterns.
134578 tn?1693250592
I'm really interested in what my son's school will do about giving grades. Have the teachers just guess what the kid's grade would have been if they hadn't stopped school on March 16th for the year? If they did, it probably would (statistically) be about as accurate as any other way. A kid getting consistent grades on his tests from September to March isn't going to vary too much in April, May and June. Probably they won't go for a method that simple, but they should consider it.

I think the reason some anxious people see their anxiety abate is that the mind really does know the difference between an actual emergency and anxieties that are more than half made up anyway. When faced with a genuine emergency, all that mental noise abates. Like the mind says, "Oh, this is the real thing," and gets real.

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4 Comments
In my state, school districts are required to provide 'remote' learning.  Those without devices (in younger grades) or unreliable devices had scheduled pick up times and my kids have an entire curriculum online.  Homework, papers, tests, virtual classes, etc.  Last week was the practice week and this week, the grades begin going into the books.  For seniors, they graduate if they were tracking toward it.  Not ideal, but what else can they do.  Internet is free in our state right now and they have trucks with portable hot spot set up in rural areas.  

They did pass legislation taking away the requirement for Spring state testing.  To graduate, you have to take and pass the state Biology test.  My son has biology this year.  He won't be taking that test.  So, think this will change graduation requirements.  Unprecedented for sure!  

My anxiety is doing strange things and changing from day to day.  I have a burning in my chest type of anxiety that is just sort of there.  Like that doomsday feeling but I can't do anything about it so I'm just rolling with it.  Uncomfortable but bearable.  And I have a lot of sadness for some reason.  Unexpected.  I am the kind of girl who has always liked to stay home!  but I feel depressed for some reason.  My emotions are very up and down.  And managing my boys moods, sigh.  That's a challenge.  Hows your little guy taking all of this?  
He's doing OK with the exception that he is sleeping like he has jet lag. Even when we took away all his devices, he laid awake until 5 or 5:30 am and then would sleep until 1 or 2 pm. Couldn't shake it. Now I think he's doing a little better because he got an assignment done that he was supposed to have finished by today (it was given to do over Spring break, thus ruining Spring break).
Ugh.  I think this has a way of taking a toll on people.  I have periods where I sleep like a champ and others where I'm deprived.  I have one son getting up early and one who is sleeping in.  We are trying to cut slack.  But it is where where the stress manifests itself, isn't it?  
Most definitely. We're cutting slack too.
3191940 tn?1447268717
Honestly, the longer I stay in, the more OK with it I become.  I'm establishing routines, and learning a few new skills in my spare time.  In some ways, it is nice to be free from other social obligations so that I can devote my time to learning new skills (I just bought an embroidery machine, arriving Friday) and getting some stuff done around the house that needs done.  I wouldn't want to do it forever, because I do miss my friends, but focusing on the positive aspects has helped.

Also, I think that believing this will end on April 30 is a pipe dream. It's April 1, and cases are continuing to rise, not drop.  Many people are still gallivanting around like it's 2019.  Kids aren't going back to school this semester and I'll frankly be surprised at this rate if social distancing advisories are lifted by the end of May.
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2 Comments
My uneducated guess says this will go through the summer.  Possibly they will relax some of the restrictions to get the economy to move a little, but I think this is going to be with us for quite awhile.  I haven't started cleaning closets or working on projects yet.  My yard will probably look the best it ever has this year (and that is saying a lot).  I going to start transferring VHS tapes to DVD as something I have been wanting to take care of for quite a while....I already have all the equipment.   My kids are grown and out of the house.  I am retired but my wife still works - at home right now.  Between my wife at home and fears of the virus I haven't been able to get away with anything lately!  LOL.  Take care all.  Jim
I had always been a person that was a 'home body'.  I like being home.  But I feel a bit of sadness right now, depression even.  Day to day, my emotions change.  lol  I can feel totally anxious and then depressed and all at the same time, normal because I was home a lot before this too.  I WISH I could throw myself into projects.  Having trouble with that.  

But I'm glad you are settling in, CurfewX.  And Jim, yes.  I think we'll see it ease up a bit in June but not entirely.  I honestly don't think I'll ever go back to exactly how I was before.  

Ha ha, wife at home and virus fear, keeps you in line.  love it!
20895295 tn?1585904154
It is depressing to stay at home for so many days, but it is good for us. It's better to stay at home to protect ourselves & others from virus. Hope this will end soon & everything will be normal.
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I look forward to getting back to normal too.  I have to say though, for me, my normal may have shifted.  On the plus side, this has made me rethink some things that are in my best interest.  How I spend my money, where I invest, how I handle contact with others, not taking many things for granted are all in the positive column.  I read something that stuck with me . . . "you are not stuck at home, you are SAFE at home".  It's really hard.  I'm constantly worried right now, working hard to have patience with my family that I can't get away from (love them, but every mom needs a break), feeling cooped up and isolated, have a sense of doom and gloom.  All of that.  But I'm remembering that it will pass.  Your hope is my hope and we'll get there!  Hang in there and chat with us more! :>)  
Time to teach the boys to make dinner for the whole family. :)
1415174 tn?1453243103
Doing well thank you! How are you doing? I get a walk in once a day but I get nervous when people get too close.  I am usually busy at home so it doesn't bother me too much. Also, my husband is now working from home. So it helps. I am not sleeping quite as well though. I am more tired too.
mkh9
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3 Comments
It's a stressful time, hard sometimes to completely relax.  I'm finding I am getting more hours in a night because I don't have to get up every single morning to get the kids to school.  I give myself permission to stay in bed.  You know what?  My chronic headaches I've been having are significantly better!  I think I was sleep deprived a lot of the time!  So, hey, that's a good lesson to me.  I am not sure I could ever have this lifestyle again of sleeping until 8 or later every morning but I'm enjoying it while I can.  I also have found I am not as productive as I thought I'd be. Sigh.  No reorganizing closets for me yet.  I feel good I get the kitchen cleaned every day!  

So, you are getting out every day to go for a walk!  That's great. Doing the same most days.  I cross into the street long before anyone comes up on me.  I'm keeping my distance.  I want to do a youtube video today of a HIIT work out.  They are like 20 minutes long so I can do it, right?  Do you ever do any of those?

I'm also a Netflix master!  Want to know what's on?  I can tell you as your personal guide! :>)

I know you liked to go to the gym a lot.  Are you missing that?  Do you have weights at home?
Yes I miss going to the gym. No I haven't tried HIITs. I just lift weights.  Right now just with dumbbells,steps and a kettlebell . I still keep contact with my gym friends .
mkh9

I don't have enough weights so have to do this too.   https://www.menshealth.com/fitness/a31698453/athlean-x-home-workout-total-bodyweight-video/?utm_source=pocket-newtab
Plus I dusted off the TRX which I also dislike, but at least I have a shed in the backyard with a bolt that it fastens to so it's outdoors - although the neighbor chain smoker doesn't seem able to be able to smoke anywhere except against my fence so I have to watch out for her, but just writing this makes me think I will ask her to smoke on her other side (ostensibly to cut Covid risk but hopefully she finds a comfy spot there that she sticks to forever) which is against a park.
207091 tn?1337709493
I think I would have been more anxious had we not extended it.

My life is different than most though - I work from home, so I still have my job. I am not suddenly stuck inside all day with a partner and kids, as I'm single. It's lonely, though.

I'm high risk so I haven't seen another person in weeks. That's weird.
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1 Comments
Yes, it's hard to stay isolated like that.  Do you face time with important peeps that cheer you up?  I like a little bit of sunshine every day if I can even if it is just sitting on a patio or balcony for a little bit.  Vitamin D is good for us.  :>)  

Weird. Good word.  This is all VERY weird and surreal.  
Avatar universal
It is depressing indeed.  i hope we will see some indication that all our efforts are not in vain.   Every day I wake up thinking this is all a dream.  I limit myself to 30 minutes in the am to listen to news and maybe Gov Cuomo (who is outstanding IMO) news conference.   I go for walks in the neighborhood in afternoon with my wife.  I go to get groceries every other week so far, early in morning and provided they don't seem busy.  I get what I need and get out quickly.....washing my hands with hand sanitizer before even touching the car door.  I did heavily stuck up on essentials (not a hoarder by any means) so I only need this and that when I go to store.  Doing what I can, trying to live life albeit smartly.

At some point, I really think we are all going to get it.  Just trying to hold out until they get a handle on it with theraputics, or vaccine.

Its amazing and disappointing that many folks don't get the seriousness of this.  Be well,  Jim
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9 Comments
You need to use the sanitizer before you enter the store too, so you don't infect others if you have it. No one can know if they have it, and despite all my precautions it seems like every time I shop I get a fright from someone not sticking to my 7 feet, and this starts another 14 day cycle of waiting to make sure no symptoms show up.
Some places have banned people from bringing in their own bags because of this danger.
Oh yes...doing that too.  Wiping the cart down as well.  I think we are in the minority though.  People don't get it.
What I found is you can bring in your own bags but you have to put the groceries in them myself.  This was true at least at Whole Foods and CVS and a supermarket, but not at my other health food store.  I have to say, people are getting more paranoid now.  I was out walking last night at 11PM and the few people out practically ran away when they saw me coming.  That's new.  I also had someone threaten me at a store because while he was hoarding, cleaning out a refrigerator I needed to get into, he turned and tried to get in a fight with me for not maintaining the 6 feet, which of course I was doing.  I was just trying to get in the same place he was in and he wasn't going anywhere and the store was at closing time and he was, as I say, buying them out of what he wanted.  I thought afterwards it was pretty funny, because if he got into a fight with someone that would certainly not be social distancing!  Personally, I don't use hand sanitizer.  The more you use it the more you damage your immune system, which is really what's keeping us who are not sick healthy.  I don't have a mask, although now they're saying wear one after saying all this time not to if you were healthy so doctors and nurses wouldn't run out, which of course they did anyway.  Now where is anyone going to get one when you can't even buy toilet paper?  By the way, I really think having the stores close early was stupid.  I'm on a late schedule and so I'm also in stores and restaurants that aren't very crowded.  Instead everyone is crowding in early when everyone is up and about.  Makes no sense, really.   I guess the main thing is, getting paranoid about it just makes everything worse.  That's what living with an anxiety disorder is like, everything becomes really hard.  We're all going to get sick from things that could but probably won't kill us, like the flu. but we don't live in fear of it.  We all know driving is the most dangerous thing we all do, but we all do it.  We all know having a gun in the home greatly increases the chances of getting shot, but we do it.  Life is never safe.  It never has been.  We need to take all the necessary precautions, but don't let the fear become you.  Peace.  
Oh, and let me add, nothing Trump says has any effect on your lives.  This isn't because he lies every time he opens his mouth, it's because he hasn't instituted any national rules at all, so the rules we are bound by at this time are set by our governors and mayors, not the federal gov't.  In my state the governor just extended the distancing to June 11, so April 30 is a meaningless date.  I believe Trump does have the authority because he has declared a national emergency to set a nationwide standard, and if he did, we'd get through this faster, but he he hasn't done that and most of the red states have not instituted strict rules and so when they get hit, if they do, we will go through this all over again as citizens of those states move around.  Right now Texans, who are not under strict controls, are flocking into Louisiana, which does. and making it very hard for Louisiana to recover.  But it is what it is, so you have to look to what your state or locality has done, not what Trump says, which again is just him talking as he hasn't made any rules mandatory nationally.
No politics please.  
Hi Jim, so glad you joined us and are here to chat!  We'll get through this.  I like that you are limiting your news.  That helps some people.  I listen to our governor every day and the president but only for a bit of it to get the 'bit stuff' I need to know and if I'm stressing, I just don't watch and find the highlights on line that I need to know.  My state aggressively has shut things down, so I am always hearing something new daily.

Anyway, that is awesome you get out for a bit. A walk, a drive, it helps keep us sane.  I do the same.  I have some 70% hand sanitizer and some cleaning wipes I keep with me.  And just try to touch as little as possible.  Elevators, use your elbows, etc.  Avoid what you can.  As often as you can.  That's also great you stocked up on living essentials.  I have to figure out food about every 4 days.  lol.  From a person that used to go to market whenever i needed something, this is teaching me to plan!  My family is getting bored though with the food I make over and over.  Oh well.  I'm not trying a lot of new recipes right now.  

My thought, Jim, is you may be right.  We may all get it. But I want it to be further along when they know more and they can help me more if I do get it.  It's still such a new thing and feels chaotic.  As they have better supplies of what's needed to treat us and ideas of what to use to treat us, I'll feel more confident if I do get it.  I heard that as early as Fall, they could have some therapeutic options for us.  So, I'm avoiding the first wave as strongly as I can.  Sounds like you are doing a good job.  We're always here to talk!
Thank you.  I believe we will get through this and perhaps be better for it.  Brings tears to my eyes hearing the acts of kindness.   One strange thing though....I am a very anxious type person.  I would keep myself up at night with worry over the most petty things.  Even have seen a psychologist about it a couple times .  Now, with all the fear in the world, my investments tanking, and everything else......I strangely am not feeling anxiety.  I cannot explain it.  Sleeping well too.   Take care of yourselves we are all one and united.  Like Gov Cuomo said....there is no red and blue.....there is red, white, and blue.   Best regards,  Jim
Mom, it's not politics.  I'm sorry if politics bothers you, but the issue was how hard it is to wait until April 30 but April 30 has no meaning for anyone on this site or in this nation.  As I said, if Trump wants to declare a national policy he has the power to do so but he has chosen not to exercise that power at this point, so if you want to know what the rules are for social distancing and how long it's going to last you have to find out what your mayor and governor have ordered, not suggestions from anyone else.  As I also said, in my state, the date right now is June 10, set by the governor.  Again, factual info, not politics.  It's also very important during this crisis for everyone to know not to listen to anyone who traffics in intentionally false information, whether that's from a talk show host or a blog or your crazy uncle or the President.  Listen to the head of the CDC, listen to the epidemiologists who appear daily on real news shows because they are telling us what is known right now.  For info on what your local and state gov't has ordered as far as social distancing, you can get that from your local newspaper.  You can love the President if you like, I said nothing to the contrary, but given his personality being the way it is and knowing what to do is so crucial for all of us right now it's very important to know the difference between vital info and someone seeking attention.  So for the final time, April 30 is not a date that means anything.  Nothing this particular President, or the head of China who caused this problem to get out of control by silencing those in China trying to warn us all what was coming our way, says right now should be listened to for our own good.  The day that is meaningful to you is the date set by your governor or mayor.  Now, if the President changes his mind and decides he has to establish a binding national policy, then at that point he's the one to listen to, but so far he has not done that.  Peace, all.
Not interested in that discussion with you paxiled.  

xltjim----  it is absolutely heartwarming, isn't it?  I'm moved by the kindness I see.  I personally think it would be on the plus side if this horrific situation brought out the human goodness in people.  We're all in this together and everyone is afraid and suffering. But we know that some are more vulnerable.  I see things that are touching every day.  

I think that you are at peace right now is a true blessing.  Life is careening in its own way right now and we are along for the ride. that sense of not being able to control anything but my own actions of abiding by the distancing maybe takes some pressure off in life.  Does that make sense?  I can't control any of this.  But I'm also alive, have food and my family here healthy.  So, I'm absolutely grateful for those things.  This certainly changes our perspective, doesn't it?  

I'm so glad you found us and I look forward to your insight about all of this.  It helps to connect.

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