I don't know what to do.

[john_meow18]

I am anxious and constantly worry about my health and crap. I know I haven't been living my life responsibly and that's why I'm unhealthy and obese. It just makes me sad how I singlehandedly f'ed up my life, possibly being a burden to my family since we don't have a lot of money and insurance. I just want to seek help but it's driving me nuts that I may be dying without me wholly knowing it. So it kinda makes it hard for me to do school works and others 'cuz I just might do the things that will make my life worthwhile instead. I already had one scary anxiety attack 'cuz of it and I might think that I am a hypochondriac. So yeah guys, don't be like me.

[lilacbabe2021]

Hang on there. I am also having depression due to HIVPhobia.  But you can make a change! You can have a healthy life by eating healthily, exercising regularly. Don't think yourself as a burden.  

[specialmom]

I feel you, my friend.  I can have a really good time eating cheesecake and watching netflix and then start to curse myself. It's a vicious cycle.  I get it.  The good news is this, EVERY day is a new day to try. I don't have to worry about doing it just right yesterday but can do my best today.  And each day that I make better choices helps.  Now, you are writing on the depression forum.  I will tell you having watched a loved one become severely depressed as well as always suffering anxiety, that really impacts energy level, motivation, how they've been comforting themselves.  Psychotherapy really can make a different.  Treating the anxiety/depression as a real thing can give the boost you need to get on track.  Do you get enough sleep? Etc.

[artemesia2]

I'm not the most perceptive.  I was diagnosed on the higher end of the autism spectrum disorder scale.  I kind of think you do things that give you pleasure that are bad for you eg eating cheesecake.  You feel good doing it and then you feel guilty.  doing it.  I may be just reflecting myself onto you.  My pattern is to stay up  playing net games watching youtube  Feeling exhausted in the morning and repeating the cycle.   There is my sister, cousins,  women friends and a male friend so I do get and give support.

[specialmom]

Well, artmesia2, that's a pretty good summation of it.  Yes, absolutely. Guilt.  And our actions can have health consequences.  I get myself eating unhealthy foods, gain weight, affect the blood pressure, etc.  Sigh. And you cause yourself not to get enough sleep which can trigger other health problems.  I'm really glad you get support.  I'm a secret cheesecake eater.  

[Paxiled]

I think it's more important that you don't be like you.  You sound pretty young, so you have a lot of time and adaptability so you can change if you don't like where you are.  Is it easy?  No.  Can it be done?  Yes.  Especially if you start young.  You need to get into therapy whatever it takes to do that.