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When did I get pregnant?
Hey Annie! I have a quick question and I was wondering if you could help me. I had protected sex with a guy on Feb 8th for maybe 2 minutes at the most and we stopped bc the condom dried out. I didn’t have sex anymore until March 25th -April 1st with my bf which was unprotected each time. Around April 18th I started having cramps etc and on April 24th I got an ultrasound and was told that I was around 5 weeks and 4 days and my EDD would be Dec 23rd. I ended up having my daughter mid December. Did I get pregnant In Feb or March/April? My bf is now deceased and I got the February guy tested through DDC and he was excluded. Tried testing my bf’s parents and the results were negative
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My condolences on the death of your boyfriend. I assume he himself never had the chance to do a DNA test for the benefit of confirming the child is his daughter?
How did you go about testing your boyfriend's parents? Did they go to a reputable lab along with you and the baby, or was this done with a home test? Were you there when they did the swabs? Did you observe the handling of the swabs until they were out of the control of everyone personally interested? (such as, until they were in the lab technician's control, or in the mail)? And, do you know for sure your boyfriend was not adopted? If your boyfriend has a sibling and you know for sure they are blood siblings, you could test with the sibling also.
The problem with the idea that the guy from early February is the dad is that the dates are way off for that to be true. Besides, he had a test through the DDC that says he is not the dad. [Did you go to the lab with him and witness him doing the swab and handing it over to the technician?]
Your 5w4d ultrasound suggests the baby was conceived around March 31, as does the estimated due date they gave you. (Having a baby in mid-December doesn't change that, babies do come a week early sometimes.) In your fifth week, they would not have looked at a baby that was conceived in the last week of March and confuse it for a baby conceived in the first week of February. If the first guy had been the dad the embryo would have been many weeks more developed.
Unless you had sex with someone else between February 8 and late March, the baby is from your boyfriend. In your shoes I'd ask your boyfriend's parents for another test, and/or a sibling of your boyfriend for a test, and do it in an official manner at a well-thought-of lab, with witnesses to them doing the swabs. If you think they are trying to get out of this child being their son's baby, have your lawyer handle all discussion about the DNA testing. If the situation is secretly hostile on their part, none of this should be you just talking to them and having a drugstore test done. Or, if you think the situation is friendly but that a secret is being kept regarding who your boyfriend's biological parents are, leave space for one of the parents to draw you aside and whisper in your ear about why the test came out negative. But I would guess that if the parents loved their son and are grieving his death, they would be pleased he had a child, and wouldn't be trying to avoid a correct answer.
How did you go about testing your boyfriend's parents? Did they go to a reputable lab along with you and the baby, or was this done with a home test? Were you there when they did the swabs? Did you observe the handling of the swabs until they were out of the control of everyone personally interested? (such as, until they were in the lab technician's control, or in the mail)? And, do you know for sure your boyfriend was not adopted? If your boyfriend has a sibling and you know for sure they are blood siblings, you could test with the sibling also.
The problem with the idea that the guy from early February is the dad is that the dates are way off for that to be true. Besides, he had a test through the DDC that says he is not the dad. [Did you go to the lab with him and witness him doing the swab and handing it over to the technician?]
Your 5w4d ultrasound suggests the baby was conceived around March 31, as does the estimated due date they gave you. (Having a baby in mid-December doesn't change that, babies do come a week early sometimes.) In your fifth week, they would not have looked at a baby that was conceived in the last week of March and confuse it for a baby conceived in the first week of February. If the first guy had been the dad the embryo would have been many weeks more developed.
Unless you had sex with someone else between February 8 and late March, the baby is from your boyfriend. In your shoes I'd ask your boyfriend's parents for another test, and/or a sibling of your boyfriend for a test, and do it in an official manner at a well-thought-of lab, with witnesses to them doing the swabs. If you think they are trying to get out of this child being their son's baby, have your lawyer handle all discussion about the DNA testing. If the situation is secretly hostile on their part, none of this should be you just talking to them and having a drugstore test done. Or, if you think the situation is friendly but that a secret is being kept regarding who your boyfriend's biological parents are, leave space for one of the parents to draw you aside and whisper in your ear about why the test came out negative. But I would guess that if the parents loved their son and are grieving his death, they would be pleased he had a child, and wouldn't be trying to avoid a correct answer.
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Thank you! Yes my bf passed away and never thought about doing a dna test because he knew this was his child. I purchased the identigene test and personally swabbed both my daughter and the February guy and I personally sealed and mailed the swabs into DDC lab. I went through Labcorp to get my daughter and the grandparents tested and received a negative result which all of us went on separate days for testing so just to be sure I went through a dna specialist my attorney recommended all of us went together and he said he didn’t get a match either. Both parents feel confident that it’s my bf’s child but I’m not sure if this is my bf’s father. That’s the only explanation I can come up with being that the February guy was ruled out and I wasn’t with anyone else. My bf does have another child so I’m wondering if the other child can be tested for a result
Yes, the child can be tested. Again, watch for family secrets arising. You never know a given child's genetic story, all you know is who raised them.
Two other resources -- call Ravgen and tell them about the parents' tests, and see if Labcorp and the guy recommended by the attorney have good reputations and ask what could go wrong. If you test again, I'd trust Ravgen. And, outfits like 23 and Me and Ancestry can find other close relatives if any have ever done a DNA test. Even finding a cousin will tell you what you need to know.
Okay thank you! Will do. With all of these negative tests I just felt like I was losing my mind and even though I knew it was no way possible for it to be the February guy I still got him tested just to rule him out
Well, it does seem a little much, for a baby born in mid-December to be suspected of being a child from sex February 8. What would that be, something like 6 weeks overdue? But it never hurts to cover all the bases. I would go ahead with testing relatives of your daughter because you don't want his parents to be thinking you had sex with another person and aren't admitting it.
Thank you!
No problem. Write back or pm me if you do learn that your boyfriend was secretly adopted, it would be interesting. I dropped you a short pm yesterday as well.
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