at 13 -14 i exparamented with dogs and it's been eating me alive

[Anonymous32100]

(befor you coment i know it was wrong and ****** thats why im posting hear for help on moveing forward) ok so i write this after seeing others share thier storys on the copeing with similer things. it started when i was 13 my grandma took me and my brother from my mom and we lived with people she used to know. one day ther dog licked me in the mouth and i remember a video talking about how they parcticed kissing on dogs so i whould evrey so often do so and one time triing to get it to lick me. beleving that there was nothing wrong with it i know difernt now but this is just how the curiosity started. after we got kicked out of there for unrelated sercumstances. eventualy i found beastiality porn online and still not knowing any beter i whould masterbate evry now and agen when the mood hit me. eventualy we found new housing and i got my own dog i had him for lees than a year becaus he bit my grandma 3 difernt times. when we got him exparamenting never crosed my mind until one day he jumped up and began humping me i pushed him away then. eventualy tho i gave in to curiosity i atempted to give a him bj but he didnt want to so i stoped. i never wanted to hurt him videos and websites had me convinced it was ok as long as i wasn't forceing anything and i saw him constntly trying to hump me as reciprocation. the farthest it ever got was i tried to get him to mount me he never penatrated thank god tho he jabed and it hurt so i stoped and never tried anything agen. i however keept the fantasy of it for 2 years and at 16 i started realising how wrong it was and distenced my self frome that stuff and i eventualy broke down a month ago fully realising the extent of my actions im 17 now and am racked with shame an guilt over doing thees things and haveing fantasys and unintetanoly abusing anamals. i am still trying to put it behind me and forget this sick fetish but i am haveing a realy hard time forgiving my self and moveing on. i know im not alone in this but any advice whould be grately appreciated.

[specialmom]

Understanding that things happen and we can regret them is part of life. Forgiving yourself is essential. You know better now. Our brains do weird things and especially when immature. Let it go. It's a past life you had. And move on. EVERYONE has something they regret. Take care