any of my business?

[claysmom]

so now that I have read these responses, I am glad to have the knowledge. It is clear to me that this is the problem we are having.  but my problem is that the child is not mine. I have a 5 year old nephew who is going through a lot with unstable parents, and poops all the time in his pants, including twice today here at my home. and the smell of the bowel movement is beyond just yucky poop. I'm not just being squeamish, there was something definitely unusual about the oder. to the point that I was very alarmed.
      his father is not exactly loving and does not provide the right nutrition or nurture to the child. I know that when the children are at his house they don't eat much more that fast food, mac and cheese and pizza. A LOT OF CHEESE! and probably never any fruits of vegetables. (besides what comes on cheese burger happy meal.) when the child does poop himself, he gets severely punished. The older sibling has told me that he spanks him hard and makes him stay in his room. When they are at the mothers house I think they eat better, and she is a fun loving big kid herself, but they are not receiving the proper amount of emotional nourishment they need. I have talked to the children's mother (my sister) but she is just emotionally regressed herself. there is no doubt that she loves the kids, and would never want to learn that she is a bad parent, witch i don't believe she is. I don't know what to do. the kids need help, but who am i to step in? and besides that were would my babies end up if i took further action? I'm just at a loss. any advice please? and if no advice at all, prayers never hurt. thank you.


This discussion is related to 5 YEAR OLD POOPING IN PANTS.

[claysmom]

thank you for your concern. thank God I'm not alone. I'm going to insist the child see a Dr. for possible constipation. I could never take the children, because the parents would never have it. they by the way are 7 and 5 do come to my home several times a month were I shove fruits, veggies and whole wheat down there bellies. and shower them with love while we play make believe, and silly games. I also thought about abuse, I could see emotional, but I'm pretty sure its not sexual abuse. thank GOD! My sister is well aware of how worthless the father is, but  feeling pretty helpless in that department too. maybe seeing a Dr. about the constipation issue will cause them to see possible other problems too. Maybe if the dad sees that his "parenting" is causing his children too have physical problems he might feel terrible and do something at the very least about the way he feeds them. again, thank you for your support. this is never easy, but it helps to know people are reaching out with support.

[musicmama]

How old are your babies?  I'm also wondering, has your nephew seen a therapist?  Children who are being abused sometimes soil their clothing in order to disgust the abuser.  This could also be a control issue, or one of anxiety.  I have had students with this problem, and I understand the smell.  

Although you are not the parent, you are a consistent part of this child's life.  You might share your concerns with your sister, giving her suggestions to deal with this.  It sounds like you are thinking of taking this child in.  If so, you may run the idea by your sister.  If she is open to it, maybe the father will be too.  If not, maybe they will let him come to your house two days a week or so.

I know how hard it is to see all of this turmoil and feel helpless.  It is important that he see a stable environment and know how it works.

Good luck and God bless