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4 YEAR OLD TROUBLE

My 4 year old son is so terrible, i know your not suppose to say that and i dont say that to him of course. He got dignosed with adhd and it took four trys until we found one that worked the best. But all he does is act up badly. Its so bad my mother will not take him anymore. When he was in a 3 springs program they said he was good but acted up occasionally. But at home its a different story all he does is act up, will not listen to anything I say, if he is bad and we tell him to sit in the corner he screams , or moves, when i tell him to go to bed he comes out over and over and then when i take he tv he cry and scream im sorry i promise over and over again and when i tell him if he goes to bed and is a good boy i will give the tv back tomorrow he still scream i need help? what are some behavioral discipline technique that work for you and how do you handle the stress?


This discussion is related to 4 Year Old Behavior Problems.
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Avatar universal
I am sorry...

a few questions. how does the daycare handle his behavior? what do they do? besides send him home. has he said he does not want to be there?

He should have consequences at the daycare for his actions there and maybe a few minutes time out for the behavior at school when he gets home, but leave it at that.  It will make you lose your control fast at home because you are constantly disciplining him for what happens at school.

"He has never behaved this way and it is at school as well as at home that these absolutely inappropriate behaviors occur... until this week."

Ask the daycare what are the trigger? Is there a staff member? new students? What have you noticed triggers the behavior at home?

I think you still have more options to consider before calling for a psych referral This might just need for behavior modification..  



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Avatar universal
I am sorry to hear of how you feel. BUT I do want to say You are entitled to feel how you feel . It is taxing, energy zapping and can leave you empty and out of options. NO one can ever understand what you go through unless they have experienced themselves.  

My first though here is his behavior verses home behavior. I would ask specifically what the school does to handle his behavior. TAKE NOTES... because you need to follow it at home also (more adults on the same page with what is appropriate or not is KEY.. It also sounds like  because of the structure at school he is more occupied with his time. Trust me I know how hard it is to try to structure a child's schedule at home. Its impossible to still work, maintain the home, appts and every other daily chore you do.

It does sound in a way that he can hold it together enough at school but at home is his release, (something else to think about) But then again if he is showing he can hold it together at school then it tends to feel like learned behavior which has become a cycle at home or family.

You mom might have also be part of understanding a new way of handling him rather then refusing him to come over. This does nothing for the child. Your mom can plan activities with him in mind when she has him and if he does not behave then the activity is lost, with giving a brief "we will not be doing X because of how you just behavior. We can try it again tomorrow"  but something else can be done to reengage him. (Trust me its hard.. I know)

I know it might sound like I am rambling here but I have worked with families before with children like this as well as my own child. Each child needs to connect. thats a given.... The best tool ever is when the school and the family mirror each other. It reinforces what is acceptable and what is not.

In combination of all of that I think readdressing medication is wise also.

Best of luck
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Avatar universal
I am crying as I read posting after posting.  I have just left work to pick my 4 1/2 year old son from daycare.  I have had the director speak to me every day this week and finally had to pick him up today - before lunch even.  I have taken all his toys away, time out after time out, deprived him of dinner last night and STILL!  Our christian daycare has not decided to kick him out, IF I can get through to him that his behavior is not acceptable.  I have NO idea what to do.  I spanked him well and good today, when we got home.  He tells me he will be good, but he has said that every night and morning this week.  He has never behaved this way and it is at school as well as at home that these absolutely inappropriate behaviors occur... until this week.  Nothing has changed, that I am aware of.  My sweet, lovable, polite, very well-behaved angel has turned into a less desirable character.  I may call his ped for a psych referral, but I am scared to imagine medicating my little one for one bad week.  Unfortunately, my spouse and I CANNOT quit working.  It is impossible, and still have a house.  I do not know what to do.  I would love to say I am thrilled that I am not alone, but I can't.  I would not wish this heart-wrenching pain on anyone.  Not even the worst of parents.  I seek understanding.  Why is it happening?  What do I do?  I am dying inside and have no direction.  I hope everyone's little one is guided in the right direction and each of us can live a little happier for it.
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13167 tn?1327194124
I'm not familiar with any Three Springs programs for preschoolers.  I only know about Three Springs for teens,  and it's like,  a one year residential facility.

Was he in long term residential facility?  It seems like he must have much more than ADHD - what med is he currently on?  It certainly doesn't sound like it's working.
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535822 tn?1443976780
Ask you health provider if any Meds he is on for ADHD could be causing the Tantrums , Keep on as you are putting him in the time out when he needs it, but also try to figure out what triggered them , try to relax and not give too many orders , sometimes over reaction works against you. Does he get plenty of activitys and Read Books, has he a good school or Programme time take a look at what he is feeling.
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