9 yr and 5 yr old behavior change

[polstons97]

HI there I am a mom of three 9 5 and 19 months. My 9 yr old was very happy and loving until my 5 yr old came into town. I really thought that she would grow out of her behavior and she has not and now my 5 yr old is starting to act like her and he was always so good!!! They both are very disrespectful difiant and just down right mean want they want to be. I will admit I spoiled my 9 year old still do when I can. My 5 yr old son is spoiled to but now that I am trying very hard not to spoil them a war has been started. Every day it is a battle. Washing their hands flushing the toilet putting the seat down, brushing teeth getting changed cleaning their room or if they want a sanck and I say sorry dinner will be ready soon, a melt down begins and will continue until they go to bed and the melt down goes from saying no to the snack and will cotinue with just about anything!!! They both love their 19 month old brother but are in constant competion of his love and attention. I have tried everything. Only advice I get is not spending enough time with  them, they are not involved with enough extra activies. Well, I a a stay at home mom and I do spend time with them, I would have them both in a zillion other activies if they showed interest in them and I had the money to do so!!! Can any one out there understand what I am going through or am I alone and wrong in my thinking??? Do I sign them up for everything under the sun so that they are so tired they wont have he energy to argue ?? I am very lost right now and needhelp. I love my children to death and I really want that bond back that I once had with them. I will gladly accept any advice that I can get!! PLEASE HELP!!!!


This discussion is related to My 5 year old is disrespectful and stubborn.

[margypops]

You know that isnt too bad an idea getting them signed up for activities it does keep them busy, it sounds as if they are in competition for your "Favors, meaning each in their way is jealous of the attention the other gets from you, your older Child was jealous when the younger sibling was born now they have joined up to be jealous of the little one, oh yes they love him but it has still taken more of you away from them. Get Dad involved a lot have him look after and play games when he comes home, outside activities, weather permitting in the winter. Set bounderies and say no TV No PC no reading or playing till ,teeth are brushed and ignore the demands for snacks if they yell plug your ears, better still no snacks in the house when you shop tell them "I ma buying no more snacks till you get the rules of the house and Family, they may not always put a toilet seat down however the big Boys arent too good at that! Use the time out method and be consistant,