My 16 yr old brother refuses to go to school. Our family is falling apart because of it. Any help?

[ikkin6]

My brother refuses to go to school.  My mother is under soo much stress because of it.  This has been going on for about 2 years now.  It started with him only missing a few days a week but it quickly got to the point where he was only going about once a month.  Now I can't remember the last time he even went.  He has a real problem with anger and we have holes in the walls all over our house because of him when my mom tries to get him up for school.  He has smashed tons of things and all my mom ever does anymore is cry.  My parents are divorced and my dad is a terrible influence on my brother.  I know that he smokes marijuana quite a bit -- at least 1-2 times a week -- sometimes with my dad.  I also have a younger brother who is 13 and he is suffer alot from this too.  They share a bedroom so his sleep gets interupted every morning by screaming and fighting.  It's not a good thing for him to wake up to every morning.  The school has been threatening to charge my mom up to $10,000 because of him not going to school but there's nothing she can do to make him go.  He's way stronger and in his fits of anger in the morning's I know he wouldn't hesitate to push her or hit her.  Can anyone help me please?  We live in a very small town and there is nothing here to help him.  Please someone help.


This discussion is related to Teenage boy refuses to go to school/get out of bed in morning.

[RockRose]

In the letters your mother is receiving from the school district,  what do they say about charging your brother with the crime of truancy?   She should call the school district (if she hasn't already) and explore getting him charged with the crime, and see what help that would offer in actually getting him to school.  Like,  it would be great if a sheriff came and got him for school.  They do that here -

And I agree with Margy - that counseling is really needed here.  Maybe he's developed some severe anxieties or could benefit from group counseling.

Do you live near a larger city?  There are charter schools,  and online self-paced schools that probably would be more appropriate for him.

Best wishes.  It's great that your mother has you to care and seek help.

[margypops]

Has he given your parents a reason why he is unhappy and doesnt  want to go to school, was there any bullying you know of, he is very upset and it is possible he would benefit from some counselling,he is acting out , I think possibly your parents may have a parent /interaction problem as it has got so out of hand. A lot of children do not like to be rushed in the morning and it is a cause of many fights between families, I would suggest setting the alarm earlier so he has time to get ready ,maybe go to bed a bit earlier also, and let him get ready at his own pace ,it does sound as if some help is required with his anger, Good luck