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HPV- Informing past partners
Dear Doctor,
My wife just had a hysterectomy because they found pre-cancerous high risk HPV. We were done having kids so we didn't even mess with other remedies to remove it. It's pretty clear it came from me. She was a virgin before we were married. I had multiple partners. I have been faithful our whole marriage (7 years). The doctor told her it was highly unlikely that I had been faithful. I have read a lot that this could have been dormant. The real big question I have is do I have a legal obligation to tell all my old partners that I could have given them HPV. One of the girls I dated was a virgin. This relationship was over 9-10 years ago. Am I doing more harm than good telling people this many years later? I am going crazy thinking about how many years back I need to go in telling people. I was married 15 years ago would she fall under people I need to tell? As I think about telling them I also put myself in their shoes with the stress and anxiety they'll get if I tell them...not to mention the anger from their current spouses. I know the chances are remote but I'm stressed out! If the strand I gave my wife was high risk does this mean that all of my former exe's 10-15 years ago could have high risk as well but just laying dormant?
I've read things that say legally I need to tell and other things saying it may do more harm than good.
I would appreciate your insight!
Thank You
My wife just had a hysterectomy because they found pre-cancerous high risk HPV. We were done having kids so we didn't even mess with other remedies to remove it. It's pretty clear it came from me. She was a virgin before we were married. I had multiple partners. I have been faithful our whole marriage (7 years). The doctor told her it was highly unlikely that I had been faithful. I have read a lot that this could have been dormant. The real big question I have is do I have a legal obligation to tell all my old partners that I could have given them HPV. One of the girls I dated was a virgin. This relationship was over 9-10 years ago. Am I doing more harm than good telling people this many years later? I am going crazy thinking about how many years back I need to go in telling people. I was married 15 years ago would she fall under people I need to tell? As I think about telling them I also put myself in their shoes with the stress and anxiety they'll get if I tell them...not to mention the anger from their current spouses. I know the chances are remote but I'm stressed out! If the strand I gave my wife was high risk does this mean that all of my former exe's 10-15 years ago could have high risk as well but just laying dormant?
I've read things that say legally I need to tell and other things saying it may do more harm than good.
I would appreciate your insight!
Thank You
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You definitely have no obligation to discuss this situation with past sex partners. (More below about legal as opposed to ethical obligations below.) Although it is likely you were the source of your wife's HPV infection, assuming her sexual history is accurate, there is no way to be sure. Although widely acknowledged as a sexually transmitted and acquired virus, there probably are exceptions; certainly there are occasional infections in virgins, for example. Further, some infections are acquired by non-intercourse sex, such as hand-genital and oral-genital contact. Whether or not your wife acknowledges it, you might imagine that she had such exposures as a young woman.
But even if we assume you were the source, there is no point in telling past partners. In fact, the CDC recommends against it; their advice is that women with abnormal paps not inform their partners they have HPV. Obviously it goes with the territory for a married woman whose husband is aware of her health issues, but if your wife were single, CDC would advise against her discussing it with past partners. And you are one step further removed.
Why not inform? First, most infections go away on their own; most of your partners who HPV back then probably no longer have it. Second, all women should have routine pap smears whether or not they ever had a partner known to have HPV. Knowledge of your past infection doesn't change anything. (This probably is how your wife's problem came to light.) Third, it is a fair bet most or all your past partners had sex with other men before and/or after you. They were just as much at risk of HPV from those men as from you. Finally, the fact that your wife was unlucky enough to have a worse than average outcome says nothing about the risk in other people with the same virus. Even with the highest risk HPV strains, only a very small minority of infected women have potentially dangerous outcomes. It's random, and your past partners are at no special risk from this particular HPV infection.
As for legal issues, I'm not a lawyer, so don't take my views as legally definitive. But to my knowledge there has never been legal action, let alone a successful lawsuit or criminal charge, against a distant past partner by someone with HPV. In my opinion it's not an issue. The situation would be different with, say HIV or even certain other STDs.
Bottom line: Be supportive of your wife and concerned about her health and welfare, both clinically and psychologically. Your past partners are responsible for their own sexual health, just as all sexually active people are.
Finally, you might hop over to the MedHelp HPV community forum. You'll find other stories like yours. The opinions on this will vary, but for the most part, you'll find a) you're not alone and b) my advice here is the norm.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
But even if we assume you were the source, there is no point in telling past partners. In fact, the CDC recommends against it; their advice is that women with abnormal paps not inform their partners they have HPV. Obviously it goes with the territory for a married woman whose husband is aware of her health issues, but if your wife were single, CDC would advise against her discussing it with past partners. And you are one step further removed.
Why not inform? First, most infections go away on their own; most of your partners who HPV back then probably no longer have it. Second, all women should have routine pap smears whether or not they ever had a partner known to have HPV. Knowledge of your past infection doesn't change anything. (This probably is how your wife's problem came to light.) Third, it is a fair bet most or all your past partners had sex with other men before and/or after you. They were just as much at risk of HPV from those men as from you. Finally, the fact that your wife was unlucky enough to have a worse than average outcome says nothing about the risk in other people with the same virus. Even with the highest risk HPV strains, only a very small minority of infected women have potentially dangerous outcomes. It's random, and your past partners are at no special risk from this particular HPV infection.
As for legal issues, I'm not a lawyer, so don't take my views as legally definitive. But to my knowledge there has never been legal action, let alone a successful lawsuit or criminal charge, against a distant past partner by someone with HPV. In my opinion it's not an issue. The situation would be different with, say HIV or even certain other STDs.
Bottom line: Be supportive of your wife and concerned about her health and welfare, both clinically and psychologically. Your past partners are responsible for their own sexual health, just as all sexually active people are.
Finally, you might hop over to the MedHelp HPV community forum. You'll find other stories like yours. The opinions on this will vary, but for the most part, you'll find a) you're not alone and b) my advice here is the norm.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
CDC is the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, part of the US Public Healh Service -- essentially the national health deparrment. (see www.cdc.gov) To clarify, it's not that they recommend against informing partners; they say it isn't necessary, for pretty much the same reasons I outlined above.
Of course the fact that there is no obligation doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong to inform past partner. Many would consider it a courtesy. But there really isn't much they can do, and certainly nothing they shouldn't be doing anyway -- and not everybody appreciates being contacted by past partners, for any reason. If you were dealing with something more dangerous and easily treated, like HIV, it would be different. But probably not HPV.
So there's nothing black and white here. But if I were in your situation, I would not contact my past partners.
Of course the fact that there is no obligation doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong to inform past partner. Many would consider it a courtesy. But there really isn't much they can do, and certainly nothing they shouldn't be doing anyway -- and not everybody appreciates being contacted by past partners, for any reason. If you were dealing with something more dangerous and easily treated, like HIV, it would be different. But probably not HPV.
So there's nothing black and white here. But if I were in your situation, I would not contact my past partners.
A related discussion, CDC- Not necessary to tell partner about HPV? was started.
okay I lied another question- I also should point out that I didn't realize when I was with my ex partners a decade ago that I potentially had it until my wife told me four weeks ago that she had it. Assuming I gave it to her could I give it to my wife again?
I apologize if this shows up twice.
Thanks again for your advice! I feel a lot better. One last question- (probably a dumb question)- what is CDC and why do they reccommend not telling past partners?
Thanks again for your advice! I feel a lot better. One last question- (probably a dumb question)- what is CDC and why do they reccommend not telling past partners?
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