Aa
kicked my son out on the street
I'm new here. I am going through tough times with my 23 yr old son. He was jobless and took him in. He is addicted to oxy, percs and pretty much any type of pill. Did not know this. He has good days where not sure he is taking anything as he will never admit to it. Then days on end where he is high and abusive to me. Then the days on end when he sleeps for 4 or 5 days straight, detoxing I guess. I have talked to drug counsellors to understand these drugs better. I have done everything I can to help him but he wont even admit to his habit let alone help himself. I find pills everywhere and worry about my granddaughter finding them. Last nite did me in when I found out he had stolen from a friend, obviously to get money for more pills. I hate myself, it hurts so much to shut the door on him but I cant live like this anymore and am probably responsible for enabling by giving him a bed and food. It doesnt help that I have already lost a child and am always waiting for the call that he has overdosed again. Has anyone else been through this? Not sure this is where to post this but need to understand what is happening with him and these drugs. I have to be strong because I know the phone calls and his tears to come home will start but cannot trust anything he says anymore. Any advice would be very welcome.
please go back and re-read the original post...and note the desperation in her words. she has had enough ! ! ! her son's addiction is affecting HER well being.
i dont think there is a mother on this forum who one day, found out her son or daughter was on drugs, and just immediately threw them out the door. we, as mothers, do everything in our power to love and help our children...it's our job. but tell me...exactly how long are we supposed to continue being verbally and sometimes physically abused by our addict child? how long do we continue to have our children steal from us...lie to us? how long are we supposed to sacrifice our emotional well-being? when does it stop...when they're 23...30...35???? do we continue to enable our child...give them food and shelter because they are choosing to continue doing drugs? how utterly ridiculous for anyone to think that a mother turns her back, just for the hell of it. when it comes to the point of a mother having to make that horrible decision to throw her child out...you'd better believe that she has HAD ENOUGH ! ! !
now tell me...what addict wouldnt be "thankful" that his mom allowed his addiction to continue...enabled it...gave him a free place to live while he was abusing not only drugs, but probably her as well. of course the addict doesnt want to be thrown out...he might actually have to take responsiblity for himself, for once in his life..."oh geeeeez...now what am i gonna do?...mommy's not here to take care of me. oh yeah...i'll just go live off grandma bessie..aunt susie".
for 15 years...i lived addiction through my kids. i gave up my life to try and "change" them. i isolated myself from others because of the shame...i went through almost weekly "searches" to go and visit them in jail or prison...i've ridden the streets for days trying to find them...verbally and physically abused for years...all the while enabling my sons ! ! ! ! ! i cant even begin to add up all the money spent on fines, restitutions, and attorneys. how about the fact that we've spent over $200,000.00 dollars OUT OF POCKET just on rehabs alone?
so you tell me...who was selfish and who was selfless? at what point would it have been "ok" for me to kick them out? (which by the way i did)
i dont think there is a mother on this forum who one day, found out her son or daughter was on drugs, and just immediately threw them out the door. we, as mothers, do everything in our power to love and help our children...it's our job. but tell me...exactly how long are we supposed to continue being verbally and sometimes physically abused by our addict child? how long do we continue to have our children steal from us...lie to us? how long are we supposed to sacrifice our emotional well-being? when does it stop...when they're 23...30...35???? do we continue to enable our child...give them food and shelter because they are choosing to continue doing drugs? how utterly ridiculous for anyone to think that a mother turns her back, just for the hell of it. when it comes to the point of a mother having to make that horrible decision to throw her child out...you'd better believe that she has HAD ENOUGH ! ! !
now tell me...what addict wouldnt be "thankful" that his mom allowed his addiction to continue...enabled it...gave him a free place to live while he was abusing not only drugs, but probably her as well. of course the addict doesnt want to be thrown out...he might actually have to take responsiblity for himself, for once in his life..."oh geeeeez...now what am i gonna do?...mommy's not here to take care of me. oh yeah...i'll just go live off grandma bessie..aunt susie".
for 15 years...i lived addiction through my kids. i gave up my life to try and "change" them. i isolated myself from others because of the shame...i went through almost weekly "searches" to go and visit them in jail or prison...i've ridden the streets for days trying to find them...verbally and physically abused for years...all the while enabling my sons ! ! ! ! ! i cant even begin to add up all the money spent on fines, restitutions, and attorneys. how about the fact that we've spent over $200,000.00 dollars OUT OF POCKET just on rehabs alone?
so you tell me...who was selfish and who was selfless? at what point would it have been "ok" for me to kick them out? (which by the way i did)
I am first so very sorry to hear that you're going through this. We all know you tried and exhausted every avenue before you told your adult son you had had enough.
I kicked my son out when he was 16 for completely different reasons. By the time I did though, I was through. It wasn't in haste. I was done and knew it was time. Unfortunately. No mother should ever have to do that. Ever. For me, I knew I did the right thing for my family and myself.
With that said, and I don't know if you're a religious person or not, but you will get my drift when I tell you this. It was the first weekend I was at church after this happened when our/his youth pastor came up after church and asked where he was. When I told him, he knew. He agreed and understood completely. How comforting, that's his job right? Well, it was at the very end of our conversation when he said something I'll never forget and to this day I reflect on it. He said:
Even God kicked Adam and Eve out.
Hope this helps. Keep us posted. You've done the right thing.
Best Wishes,
ng
I kicked my son out when he was 16 for completely different reasons. By the time I did though, I was through. It wasn't in haste. I was done and knew it was time. Unfortunately. No mother should ever have to do that. Ever. For me, I knew I did the right thing for my family and myself.
With that said, and I don't know if you're a religious person or not, but you will get my drift when I tell you this. It was the first weekend I was at church after this happened when our/his youth pastor came up after church and asked where he was. When I told him, he knew. He agreed and understood completely. How comforting, that's his job right? Well, it was at the very end of our conversation when he said something I'll never forget and to this day I reflect on it. He said:
Even God kicked Adam and Eve out.
Hope this helps. Keep us posted. You've done the right thing.
Best Wishes,
ng
You sound like a mother that really loves her son and wants to see him shine. He's lucky he has you. This is coming from an addict that struggles off and on - dont completely shun him. That's only going to make him fall deeper into addiction if you do. - All of my family members are addicts except for the few out of state. And when I had fallen into addiction those family members who mean the world to me wouldn't even answer my call after a while. Same with some friends. They totally misjudged me and threw me to the wolves. That gave other people who did not have my best interest, to take advantage of me and step in like a savior but they were wolves in sheeps clothing. Please let your son know you love him and stay in contact at least. Talk to him and see if you can accompany him to an addiction clinic. That is the best thing you could do. Also, the problem with addiction is you wind up surrounding yourself with like minded people obviously, so you can get high with them and it's easier to get the drugs. The best success stories for most people I have known and for myself is moving far away and cutting those people out of your life. Maybe if you can talk with other friends or family who live far away, see if they are cool with it and if he will go there for at least 3 to 6 months. That will give him enough time to really realize how stupid he was and not go back to these same friends when he gets back. Also that long amount of time changes a lot, those people may move or decide to get clean etc. This is how i have successfully stayed clean, is by moving far away from them all, but this is harder for me because it also includes leaving my husband. But when your in a foreign place, you know no oneto get it from and your away from all those bad influences. I think this is what I'm going to have to do again for myself. But we all know the first step is you have to want to do it. Hopefully he does.
I have had my nephew live at mine for the past two months. I have been close to him from day one (and over recent years he has stayed at mine long term often) He has been smoking dope (think its strong stuff these days) and been with not 'the right crowd' since 13 yrs; he's now nearly 19. He got really aggressive with his mum - hitting walls etc, if he didn't get his way; which was usually asking for money, it was very difficult. She moved out of the area a year ago, she did implore him to go with her - but he wanted to stay here. he got into trouble for burglary and spent 2 months in prison - all this from who was once a lovely intelligent lad. he didn't have anywhere to stay so I said he could stay at mine, initially for 12 weeks, to get him on his feet, get a job, get himself together. That 12 weeks is nearly up - and tomorrow I will talk to him to remind him about what we shook hands on. But over the years, I have wasted breath as we discuss jobs, opportunities - positive things as well as about the dangers - and he obviously has no intention of changing anything but seems to think that we as a supporting and caring family are daft and he is kidding us! So just to back what has been said on this post over a few years, the gut feel is the right one - the lies flow easily and quickly, the help goes unheeded and taken without changing a thing - now I just have to keep to my word and say he didn't do a thing to keep his end of the bargain and he cannot continue to take from me. it is a hopeless situation and I feel for anyone going through it - the culprit it seems in most cases is drugs.
First and for most, not one mother wants to beleive that any child of hers could be an addict, I knew my son was up to something when his whole being change, my son is 20yrs old. I want to tell everybody that when this happens and your child becomes diffrent, you at that moment need to confront him and not let him to continue with his changed being. what your thinking is probaly 100% correct. my son for the last year has been taking pills, smoking, snorting who knows what and it really doesnt matter. what kind or how they do it. it just matters that you do something about it as soon as you get that feeling.. i have given my son 2 chances to tell me the truth and he says he is not doing it any more. but yet i still find **** in his room. Yes hes 20 and i still go through his room but this was the last time because if im going through his room and not doing anything butyelling at him and not make himaccountable for his actions why bother. this the 3rd time i could not take any more of his lying, and i could not watch my son turn into a lifeless shell. yes i finally really confronted him and told him he needs to make a decision to live here and get help or move out. he moved out partly. he still has stuff here. my decision might not be for everyone. but neither was all the other decision i made for my child growing up. they are my decisions and mine alone they always have been. but now that he is 20 he needs to make some decisions for him self. for me i felt like if i enabled my son and let this all continue it would go away. sooooooo wrong. My son does not admit he is a drug addict. he has brothers that see this change in him as well. I am taking full responability of putting a stop to this drug use in my home. he now knows i will not put up with it any more but have told him over & over that i will always be here for him to help him whenever he is ready and that i love him no matter what. it was just last night he left, i know he went to work today becaused i checked and i will keep checking on him in any way i can. best advice I can give is.
IF YOU HAVE A FEELING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT RIGHT THEN & THERE, IT'S NOT GOING AWAY!!
I will keep praying for my Son and all children every where that they have the strength to make good decisions. And to all the parents, moms,dads or any gaurdian. do what ever you think is right, you know that child the best, but not doing anything is the worst.
IF YOU HAVE A FEELING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT RIGHT THEN & THERE, IT'S NOT GOING AWAY!!
I will keep praying for my Son and all children every where that they have the strength to make good decisions. And to all the parents, moms,dads or any gaurdian. do what ever you think is right, you know that child the best, but not doing anything is the worst.
Hi, my story is similar toyour. My son is 23 and has 3 years of college under his belt. He was football player in HS and complained ofheadaches and I am not sure if that was when he started experimenting.
My cabinets are ruined, his room is destroyed, staineless steel refrigerator and dishwasher dented...the list goes on. I've done the repairs but I am at the point I need him out of the house. The verbal abuse to me, his mother is unwarranted. I can't say or do anything that he respects so why does he chose to be around me.
To tell you the truth, I do not know that he is addicted to pills. I have seen little plastic bags from time to time but not that often. I know he smokes marajuana and can only assume there is another vice because of his attitude.
My cabinets are ruined, his room is destroyed, staineless steel refrigerator and dishwasher dented...the list goes on. I've done the repairs but I am at the point I need him out of the house. The verbal abuse to me, his mother is unwarranted. I can't say or do anything that he respects so why does he chose to be around me.
To tell you the truth, I do not know that he is addicted to pills. I have seen little plastic bags from time to time but not that often. I know he smokes marajuana and can only assume there is another vice because of his attitude.
Hi Rossy.....try going to this forum called "Living with an Addict" and post again....you will get current feedback and support that way. The thread you posted on is a very old thread and won't get much visbility, ok?
I'm 100% in support of your actions....ALL of them...there is no such thing as "enabling them just a little".....cushioning consequences in ANY way only keeps them from the pain of their own choices.
Here's the link for you:
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Living-with-an-Addict/show/1176
I'm 100% in support of your actions....ALL of them...there is no such thing as "enabling them just a little".....cushioning consequences in ANY way only keeps them from the pain of their own choices.
Here's the link for you:
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Living-with-an-Addict/show/1176
this is a very old thread, feel free to start another one so you will get more support. click on forums on the top of this page, choose 'living with an addict' and then click on 'new question'.
rossy1, i may have let her keep her cell phone for emergencies. is there anyway to get it back to her?? i would have done the same thing, minus the cell phone. you have to have some boundary where you say 'no more'
my heart aches for you all
rossy1, i may have let her keep her cell phone for emergencies. is there anyway to get it back to her?? i would have done the same thing, minus the cell phone. you have to have some boundary where you say 'no more'
my heart aches for you all
I have 24 years old daughter who has been an addict for last few years. Finally, she agreed to go for rehab and she stayed sober for 90 days. She moved to sober living after rehab but were kicked out because of relapse. She went back to rehab again for 28 days and she felt very sorry for her action. We brought her home after she completed her rehab hoping that she has changed but all our hopes were shattered when she relapsed again in just 1 days. Finally, we kicked her out from our home. We took back her car keys and cell phone hoping that she would realize the mistake some day but at the same time scared that we might lose her because she is so stubborn and tough head. As you mentioned, we also have spent hundred of thousand of dollars of our hard earned money to bring her to normal. We are so scared of the consequences of kicking her out of our house and don't know if we did the right thing. We have tried everything else and it was a last resort for us.
my beautiful son, 36, is an alcoholic & takes whatever pills he can get....he denies he has a problem.....he has been to rehab twice, he has lived in a homeless shelter, lived in a shed in the dead of a NY winter....and says rehab is uesless, as EVERY addict will relapse.....he lives in another state (thank God), does not work, has had dozens of server positions at restaurants over as many years, lives with a girl who has finally had enough (after living with him for 2 years)......we are literally waiting for "the call" in the middle of the night.....is there ANY hope for him???
You sound like you have definitely lived it... good advice. Here is my situation.. I have twin boys, now 20. I've sent them to rehab out of state. After the 1st time of 90 days my son came back home to start smoking heroin again. His twin went back to rehab and has 8 months clean lives out of state and works and is progressing and sober thank God. The twin that's here is so back to day one, smoking the drug in the house, you know all the stuff that goes with it.. lying, stealing... and I can't do it anymore.. he has 2 little brothers here 4 and 5 and I can't let them grow up with this... my husband his step dad wants to file an eviction and if he shows up call the police.... My addict in the home also has a trespass ticket that went to warrant. 2 months ago I sent him back to detox, then to the 90 day program, he immediately got kicked out - I bought him a bus ticket back home to get him out of the city his twin was in...so my question is do I evict him.?? he will not go to rehab. Is that the right thing..?? I have exhausted all avenues over the last 2 years... now I feel I have to protect the lil brothers and my marriage. I love my son so much and I know I am an enabler.. I just feel like if I kick him out he will end up dead.... and I will feel guilty.. please give me some advice you seem to have been through this...
Wow, i love your comment. It sounds exactly like my life and I almost thought that i wrote this,
Thank you
Thank you
I stumbled across this forum because I just kicked out my adult son. He is not a drug addict. He is, however, addicted to the Internet. I know that sounds silly to some people. He has problems with depression and anxiety, and I have seen him drink often enough that I think if he had more money (any money), he would become an alcoholic, but the Internet is a convenient way to avoid life and escape without spending extra funds.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I agree with Yaya1212. Every word. I cannot take the stress of living with a grown person who never lifts a finger, doesn't work, doesn't go to school, and won't take his meds or make his Dr. appts.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I agree with Yaya1212. Every word. I cannot take the stress of living with a grown person who never lifts a finger, doesn't work, doesn't go to school, and won't take his meds or make his Dr. appts.
Wow! I know that must have been difficult, but good for you for taking care of yourself.
Yes I told our son not to come home. That I had no interest in anything he had to say unless it was "I'm going to treatment". After he overdosed on heroin in my home and I happened to hear him fall. I called 911 and began CPR. By the Grace of God, he 'chose' to OD in my home, when I was awake, when I could hear him fall, when I could call 911, when I could try and revive him... IF it was 2 minutes later, IF he had done this in his car, IF the kids in our neighborhood weren't dropping like flies... IF I hadn't said PLEASE GIVE HIM NARCAN.... I think he might have done HEROIN...
Things might have been very different. I thank GOD I had the chance to kick him out when he said - I am fine. I don't need rehab. I only did this once. I don't know why I did it....
I snapped.
That was 3 weeks ago. That image flashes in front of my face EVERYDAY. Him lying unconscious... blue lips his neck turning blue. This was MY turning point. MY wakeup call.
Things will be very different in my home.
I do not know where he sleeps. Where he works. What he does. If he is alive. I am grateful God woke me up and I pray everyday God wakes my son up and he takes his chance again at life.
Like I am.
God Bless us all....
Things might have been very different. I thank GOD I had the chance to kick him out when he said - I am fine. I don't need rehab. I only did this once. I don't know why I did it....
I snapped.
That was 3 weeks ago. That image flashes in front of my face EVERYDAY. Him lying unconscious... blue lips his neck turning blue. This was MY turning point. MY wakeup call.
Things will be very different in my home.
I do not know where he sleeps. Where he works. What he does. If he is alive. I am grateful God woke me up and I pray everyday God wakes my son up and he takes his chance again at life.
Like I am.
God Bless us all....
We kicked our 28 year old son out of our home tonight. I hope I did the right thing. I really can relate to your pain! Maybe we can help each other through this. Please reply....
I have read your post and I seem to be able to relate to you the most! Tonight, I kicked ny 28 year old son out of our home tonight. He has been kiving with us for over 3 years. He works in the summer doing lawn work and I think he still is working but he lies so much, who knows. In the last three years he has ran up our credit card twice, at least 2300. He's pond my husbands jewelry,sterio, 2 tv's, dvds, several bar signs,anything we had of value, always saying he'll get them out when he gets money. He smoked spice for years but said he was off it. Tonight we had it out because he pond our lawn mower and other things. Tonight I told him to leave and he said no.I told him you don'y leave, I'm calling the police, he said go ahead and when he heard me he went crazy , calling me every name in the book. He said, he hated me, he hopes I die tonight, he hopes chock and die. He called me a fat bit.. and cun. He got in my face, I thought he was going to hit me. The police came and he left calmly with his dog. Later the police came back with the dog and Ryan, saying he's making arrangements but needs us to take the dog. We did. I feel so bad, I can't sleep. Please tell me I did the right thing. I really need to talk with someone who's been there. I noticed your post is an old one but I hope U will get this and respond. Thanks for listening!
welcome here, dbdone.... there is a great forum here !living with an addict" that could help you and give you support if you need it. All the best
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Living-with-an-Addict/show/1176
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Living-with-an-Addict/show/1176
I think when you kick your child out of the house - and stick to it, it's because you have had enough, don't know what else to do and can no longer stand by watching them self-destruct and tear the rest of the family apart. At least that's what happened in my case - there was nothing left for me to do. My son is now going to AA on his own accord. I haven't seen him or talked to him in months. I miss him and love him and pray that he's ok. Sometimes that's all you can do. Prayers for us all.
I am going what you are going thru. Our 20 year old son sounds just like yours. I admire you for kicking him out. We are on the verge of doing that too. How are things for you today?
My son is 19, he has been smoking weed since he was 15 and now he does pills...Zannax, Valium, pain killers of any kind. We have enabled him with money, shelter, and kept bailing him out of situations, including getting arrested. We have a 12 year old at home and did not want him to be exposed to the smell of weed from his room..(his clothes smelled and we thik he was hiding weed in his room). Enough was enough, he did not want help and we just didnt think it would become a problem and thought he would outgrow it. We asked him to leave our home and he moved in with his grandpa. It was fine until people were coming by his grandpas house, trying to look for our son and soon find out he was selling. His grandpa only has use of one side of his body from a stroke so he didnt feel safe anymore in his own place so he asked our son to leave. Well, I and his grandma felt bad for him, so we set him up in an apt. He had a few jobs and we paid for his sell phone, grandma paid his insurance, and we helpeed give him furniture and food...you name it...we were class A enablers, but were hopeful that this move would make him grow up.
Not even 8 weeks into living there, he ad so many complaints about noise, that the landlord said one more complaint and he was out. We learned he had 2 girls living with him that they later admitted he was hitting them and was mentally abusive. His mood was changing and he was always angry. He finally lost his job because of the drugs, and he lost his girlfriend and he got robbed at his apt from 3 friends he says and then he was about to lose his apt. So again, we packed him up, brought him home once again with the promise he gos to counceling. He agreed, but then once in, he kept putting it off....staying up all night, sleeping all morning. My husband checked his phone and figured out he was selling drugs. He would get texts al hours of the day and night. This wasnt the worse part. The first three days he was there, while my husband was at work, he would explode if I asked him questions....telling me to mind my own F_____ business and that I was a F______ B____. His anger was out of control, I felt like a prisoner in my own home. My youngest son and I heard him actually in the bathroom "talking" to himself and answering...he was so out of control and upset. I knew it was the drugs. He would leave for hours and when he came back, he would come through the door and say, "Hi Mom, whats up?" as if nothing happened. He was Jekyl and Hide and I knew that this wasnt my son. I was scared,never seen him this bad..I kept texting my husband at work,my husband felt helpless and couldnt concentrate on his work, he told me to leave him alone for now and go to my room and when he got home, he questioned my son and asked him about his behavior, he said he just wanted everyone to leave him the F___ alone. He wanted to just lay around, eat our food, do his drugs. come and go as he pleased, not do any chores, and talk to us anyway he wanted to. We knew he would soon be out, but we had to see our options first. My 12 year old lived in fear when he got home from school, he would sit by me with his cell phone waiting to call 911 if he came to me to hit me. We called a treament center and they said we can ask him he would come to the center with us for an a evualuation, and if he didnt, we could call our police dept and they could escort him there if he was out of control.
My husband called the police and they said they could not do anything unless he was harming himself or threatening to, which he wasnt, he did however confessed to wanting to kill the guy who stole his stuff, police said it didnt help, there was nothing they could do but help us escort hiom our of the house if we chose to make him leave.
Last night, after 3 days of him calling us the worse names we have ever heard, and the destruction of some of our own personal items in the house and the outbursts, my husband asked him one more time...will you go to the treatment center with me just to talk to them? He said HELL NO, and then my husband said, that he needed him to leave our house. HE called me a F_____ B____ again, told us that he hoped we rot in hell, and said that he couldnt count on his f_____ family. We never heard him talk like this before. My husband kept asking why the attitude was worse...we later found out that prolong pill pooping makes people manic, destructive, depressed and just out right mean...he dispalyed all of this. We were in fear of him, and after many years of enabling him, he was out. Many years ago, we threw him out only to worry about where he was, is he eating...the whole nine yards and foolishly we took him back in.,He stayed out in the woods sleeping and staying. A counselor later told us that our mistake was in letting him back in..He said we should have left him in the woods....and that he was an addict.
It is Thursday morning and I dont know where my 19 year old boy is, the one I brought into the world and brought himn to church and tried to teach him to have respect for women, and people. We taught him right from wrong and we are a Christian family....people look at us as what kind of parents were we to have a son like this? We did nothing. It is all self afflicted and I pray and hope he realizes he has nothing and he will come home and ask for help. It was the hardest thing to do, but if it was easy, they wouldnt call TOUGH love, tough. My husband is upstairs so out of it, so sadded by his actions, but we knew we couldnt continue to let him run our home. Enabling only prelongs the addiction...I know we are doing the right thing.....but We love him so...We are so heartbroken. Grandma is so depressed over it, well, everybody is....all I have is hope, and prayer. I know after reading many posts, we are not alone.
Not even 8 weeks into living there, he ad so many complaints about noise, that the landlord said one more complaint and he was out. We learned he had 2 girls living with him that they later admitted he was hitting them and was mentally abusive. His mood was changing and he was always angry. He finally lost his job because of the drugs, and he lost his girlfriend and he got robbed at his apt from 3 friends he says and then he was about to lose his apt. So again, we packed him up, brought him home once again with the promise he gos to counceling. He agreed, but then once in, he kept putting it off....staying up all night, sleeping all morning. My husband checked his phone and figured out he was selling drugs. He would get texts al hours of the day and night. This wasnt the worse part. The first three days he was there, while my husband was at work, he would explode if I asked him questions....telling me to mind my own F_____ business and that I was a F______ B____. His anger was out of control, I felt like a prisoner in my own home. My youngest son and I heard him actually in the bathroom "talking" to himself and answering...he was so out of control and upset. I knew it was the drugs. He would leave for hours and when he came back, he would come through the door and say, "Hi Mom, whats up?" as if nothing happened. He was Jekyl and Hide and I knew that this wasnt my son. I was scared,never seen him this bad..I kept texting my husband at work,my husband felt helpless and couldnt concentrate on his work, he told me to leave him alone for now and go to my room and when he got home, he questioned my son and asked him about his behavior, he said he just wanted everyone to leave him the F___ alone. He wanted to just lay around, eat our food, do his drugs. come and go as he pleased, not do any chores, and talk to us anyway he wanted to. We knew he would soon be out, but we had to see our options first. My 12 year old lived in fear when he got home from school, he would sit by me with his cell phone waiting to call 911 if he came to me to hit me. We called a treament center and they said we can ask him he would come to the center with us for an a evualuation, and if he didnt, we could call our police dept and they could escort him there if he was out of control.
My husband called the police and they said they could not do anything unless he was harming himself or threatening to, which he wasnt, he did however confessed to wanting to kill the guy who stole his stuff, police said it didnt help, there was nothing they could do but help us escort hiom our of the house if we chose to make him leave.
Last night, after 3 days of him calling us the worse names we have ever heard, and the destruction of some of our own personal items in the house and the outbursts, my husband asked him one more time...will you go to the treatment center with me just to talk to them? He said HELL NO, and then my husband said, that he needed him to leave our house. HE called me a F_____ B____ again, told us that he hoped we rot in hell, and said that he couldnt count on his f_____ family. We never heard him talk like this before. My husband kept asking why the attitude was worse...we later found out that prolong pill pooping makes people manic, destructive, depressed and just out right mean...he dispalyed all of this. We were in fear of him, and after many years of enabling him, he was out. Many years ago, we threw him out only to worry about where he was, is he eating...the whole nine yards and foolishly we took him back in.,He stayed out in the woods sleeping and staying. A counselor later told us that our mistake was in letting him back in..He said we should have left him in the woods....and that he was an addict.
It is Thursday morning and I dont know where my 19 year old boy is, the one I brought into the world and brought himn to church and tried to teach him to have respect for women, and people. We taught him right from wrong and we are a Christian family....people look at us as what kind of parents were we to have a son like this? We did nothing. It is all self afflicted and I pray and hope he realizes he has nothing and he will come home and ask for help. It was the hardest thing to do, but if it was easy, they wouldnt call TOUGH love, tough. My husband is upstairs so out of it, so sadded by his actions, but we knew we couldnt continue to let him run our home. Enabling only prelongs the addiction...I know we are doing the right thing.....but We love him so...We are so heartbroken. Grandma is so depressed over it, well, everybody is....all I have is hope, and prayer. I know after reading many posts, we are not alone.
What about the Mom whose daughter has been to rehab twice and won't go again. She has a 3 yr. old daughter that she runs from drug house to drug house. We're finally getting custody, but she can't live here now. I can't leave the house EVER with her alone in it. Shes stolen everything of any value in our home including clothes from her 19 yr old sister and myself. We are at our Witts end!!!!!!! Ive already lost a son to hanging who was addicted to Meth. Now she addicted to the same thing. I woke up the other morning to find a bag of crystal meth on my hallway floor!!!!!!!!! I hated kicking her out. I want to cry every second. But, really love them to death. Ya, that's exactly what I did to my son and it did end up in death!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, my son is 23 and has been in this Hell for almost four years. Thank you for your words of encourgment! I feel helpless, J is my only child and we are, were very close. This addiction has taken so much form us! It's VERY nice to hear that there is hope! Again thank you! J is currently in jail and is more than likely going to prison. I tell myself, at least he's alive and not doing harion. Stay clean stay positive! MP
Hello, my son is 23 and has been in this Hell for almost four years. Thank you for your words of encourgment! I feel helpless, J is my only child and we are, were very close. This addiction has taken so much form us! It's VERY nice to hear that there is hope! Again thank you! J is currently in jail and is more than likely going to prison. I tell myself, at least he's alive and not doing harion. Stay clean stay positive! MP
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