Aa
Lack of sexual confidence; various problems.
Ive never been confident with myself sexually. i have many problems I am trying to overcome with myself. I have never been confident in my size, i am still hovering short of 5 inches at 18 years old. I have always had a hope that i had not fully sexually matured, but I feel like I am past any type of puberty by now. I also have weak erections and have very little sexual stamina, only lasting a few short minutes. I have lost quite a bit of hope, and am still looking for any solutions for my problems. I have looked into male enhancement, and the most promising looks like a herbl formla called vigrx, but i am not sure i want to sink money into something that doesnt work.
I honestly just need some advising, I really dont know what to do, or where to go.
could male enhancement hurt any sexual maturing later on if i havent reached that stage yet? I am in a relationship, and I have no confidence, and dont want to be embarrassed, so im looking for a quicker fix, hopefully something that could work in a few months.
I honestly just need some advising, I really dont know what to do, or where to go.
could male enhancement hurt any sexual maturing later on if i havent reached that stage yet? I am in a relationship, and I have no confidence, and dont want to be embarrassed, so im looking for a quicker fix, hopefully something that could work in a few months.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
Sounds to me like your lack of confidence is interfering with your sexual pleasure.
A quick check of your physical health is whether you get erections upon awakening. If so, there's probably nothing physical going on--it's your attitude, anxiety and fear that are getting in the way. If you DON'T, then you should see a urologist, because it's possible you have some circulatory issues that are impeding your erections.
And realize that there are no herbal supplements that can make your penis larger or create sexual desire or lessen your anxiety. But here's the good news: you don't need them, because you can create a great sex life for yourself without any help.
About size: Our society does a terrible disservice to men by raising them to think that their penis has to be 10 inches long, hard as a rock and last all night. It’s no wonder that many men feel insecure about their penis. Locker room etiquette dictates no staring, so most men have only glimpsed other penis sizes and shapes in commercial sex videos, which generally feature men with large penises. If you think everyone else looks like a male porn star, of course you’re going to feel inadequate!
Another contributing factor is that while most men see their penises several times a day while urinating, they’re usually staring down at their penis, creating a visual distortion that makes it appear smaller than it actually is.
Just as some women associate being “sexy” with having big breasts, many men spend their lives wishing they had the allegedly perfect porn star penis, and this can affect their sexual enjoyment. Certainly, penises are important to sex, but great sex involves your whole body; in fact, having great, mutually satisfying sex is usually quite the opposite of what you see in those performance-oriented sex videos. Remember: Performance can be the enemy of pleasure and fun.
Like noses, penises all have the same basic shape, with some variation. Did you know that you can’t tell the size of a man’s erect penis based on what it looks like when flaccid (un-erect)? Most penises erect to between 4 and 6 inches, and there’s not much variation in erection size (with exceptions, of course). However, when flaccid, there is much more variation. Some men’s penises are 1 inch when flaccid (we’ll call these growers), and others are 5 inches (we’ll call these show-ers). BUT: during erection, the 1-inch penis may grow to the same 6-inch erect size as the 5-incher. That’s right; despite their differences when flaccid, they’ll both erect to approximately the same size. Why don’t most of us realize this? Because most of us just don’t get the opportunity to see men when they’re flaccid and then erect. And did I mention shrinkage? When men are cold or nervous, the penis and testicles pull up into the body for protection (“I’m hiding!”). If you see a penis right after it’s been in a cold swimming pool, I guarantee it will not resemble its erect self in any way!
As far as your erections, etc., it's possible that you have unrealistic expectations. Let me give you some information about male sexuality.
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond exactly as you thought it should, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious! And some condoms can also diminish sensation. If you're using condoms, try some different ones to find the one that feels the least intrusive.
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available online, both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Sounds to me like your lack of confidence is interfering with your sexual pleasure.
A quick check of your physical health is whether you get erections upon awakening. If so, there's probably nothing physical going on--it's your attitude, anxiety and fear that are getting in the way. If you DON'T, then you should see a urologist, because it's possible you have some circulatory issues that are impeding your erections.
And realize that there are no herbal supplements that can make your penis larger or create sexual desire or lessen your anxiety. But here's the good news: you don't need them, because you can create a great sex life for yourself without any help.
About size: Our society does a terrible disservice to men by raising them to think that their penis has to be 10 inches long, hard as a rock and last all night. It’s no wonder that many men feel insecure about their penis. Locker room etiquette dictates no staring, so most men have only glimpsed other penis sizes and shapes in commercial sex videos, which generally feature men with large penises. If you think everyone else looks like a male porn star, of course you’re going to feel inadequate!
Another contributing factor is that while most men see their penises several times a day while urinating, they’re usually staring down at their penis, creating a visual distortion that makes it appear smaller than it actually is.
Just as some women associate being “sexy” with having big breasts, many men spend their lives wishing they had the allegedly perfect porn star penis, and this can affect their sexual enjoyment. Certainly, penises are important to sex, but great sex involves your whole body; in fact, having great, mutually satisfying sex is usually quite the opposite of what you see in those performance-oriented sex videos. Remember: Performance can be the enemy of pleasure and fun.
Like noses, penises all have the same basic shape, with some variation. Did you know that you can’t tell the size of a man’s erect penis based on what it looks like when flaccid (un-erect)? Most penises erect to between 4 and 6 inches, and there’s not much variation in erection size (with exceptions, of course). However, when flaccid, there is much more variation. Some men’s penises are 1 inch when flaccid (we’ll call these growers), and others are 5 inches (we’ll call these show-ers). BUT: during erection, the 1-inch penis may grow to the same 6-inch erect size as the 5-incher. That’s right; despite their differences when flaccid, they’ll both erect to approximately the same size. Why don’t most of us realize this? Because most of us just don’t get the opportunity to see men when they’re flaccid and then erect. And did I mention shrinkage? When men are cold or nervous, the penis and testicles pull up into the body for protection (“I’m hiding!”). If you see a penis right after it’s been in a cold swimming pool, I guarantee it will not resemble its erect self in any way!
As far as your erections, etc., it's possible that you have unrealistic expectations. Let me give you some information about male sexuality.
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond exactly as you thought it should, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious! And some condoms can also diminish sensation. If you're using condoms, try some different ones to find the one that feels the least intrusive.
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available online, both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Hi there,
I was just wondering if you have managed to make any progress, did you take a trip to the doctor?
Best wishes
I was just wondering if you have managed to make any progress, did you take a trip to the doctor?
Best wishes
Hi there,
Firstly i would just like to reassure you that having the biggest size in the world is not what matters, and you are in no way abnormal.
The issue that i think should be the biggest concern is weakness of erection at youre age and your lack of stamina, there could some underlying condition (but nothing that will harm your health) that could explain this.
Your lack of confidence could also be a contributing factor, if it is causing you to not be relaxed when you engage in sexual activity.
The best advice i can give is not to start messing with any herbal remedies, but do take a trip to your doctor. I promise you there is no reason to be embarrassed about seeing your doctor they see things like this all the time (and things which are much worse to look at!)
Explain your situation to your doctor just as you have on here. You have a lack of confidence because you feel that your penis is not the size you would like it to be (it may sound silly when you think about saying it, but the doctor will not think it is silly at all, i promise) and explain the problem with sexual stamina and weak erections. Doctors are also human and they do recognise that sex is a very important part of life.
This is the best way for you to get the help you need, he may run some tests (nothing nasty) and may also provide you with some help in the confidence department.
Good Luck! =)
Firstly i would just like to reassure you that having the biggest size in the world is not what matters, and you are in no way abnormal.
The issue that i think should be the biggest concern is weakness of erection at youre age and your lack of stamina, there could some underlying condition (but nothing that will harm your health) that could explain this.
Your lack of confidence could also be a contributing factor, if it is causing you to not be relaxed when you engage in sexual activity.
The best advice i can give is not to start messing with any herbal remedies, but do take a trip to your doctor. I promise you there is no reason to be embarrassed about seeing your doctor they see things like this all the time (and things which are much worse to look at!)
Explain your situation to your doctor just as you have on here. You have a lack of confidence because you feel that your penis is not the size you would like it to be (it may sound silly when you think about saying it, but the doctor will not think it is silly at all, i promise) and explain the problem with sexual stamina and weak erections. Doctors are also human and they do recognise that sex is a very important part of life.
This is the best way for you to get the help you need, he may run some tests (nothing nasty) and may also provide you with some help in the confidence department.
Good Luck! =)
You are reading content posted in the Erectile Dysfunction Forum
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
