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The first day.

Sep 26, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

first day

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scared

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Smoking

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pills

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Panic

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bad

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I have taken a lot of pills today but I have weened down to two at a time and I am staying there. My knees hurt today.

I know I have to quit smoking, no one will drive me to the cheap smokes all of a  sudden and I can't afford them any other way. I am sick of the panic every time my 11 cartons runs out. I got to do this but I am scared and have a smoke when I think of it so I am going to try. Right after this cigarette. I have been scared and frowning for a week just thinking about it.

This morning I went nearly two hours before I smoked. I am a chain smoker. This is a huge step for me. I just want to cry. What a bad day and I haven't even started to quit smoking yet.

I am hoping this addiction recover thing will make me feel like I accomplished something, even if it is baby steps.

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