Have thought about suicide so many times today. Feel so depressed. Can't be bothered to do anything... it took every ounce of strehgth I had just to get up and go for a shower. Still feel disgusting and repulsive. Even if I did reach my weight loss goal I'd still never be beautiful or amazing. I'd still just be pathetic. On my wedding day I can only see how depressed i'll still be while other women come and look drop dead gorgeous and amazing and be happy and smiling and I'll just be pathetic em. I'll still look like a whale in comparison to ross. i hate everything about me and how i look, think, feel, do things, say things, make others feel. I just honestly dont see the point of being around. Everyones lives would be so much more improved if i wasn't around. Found batteries for my scales. not lost weight. what the hell have i put in so much efort for if i camt even lose weight after eating healthier and exercising so much. im even useless at doing that. god i hate that i get like this.
Wedding Weight Watcher :)