Nov 07, 2010
I'm 49 and over the last four years I've gone from being fit to being flat LOL.
I used to spend days gardening, lots of digging, grass cutting, pond cleaning and pruning. Now if I walk down to the pond to look at my goldfish I'm jiggered!
I always had pets and loved running round with my dogs, now I just have my husband and I've got to admit he's quite good at playing fetch with me now, he fetches me lunch, shopping and best of all chocolate.
I used to do aerobics now I'm walking with a stick.
This has been a gradual thing over the space of 4 years and I have taken it in my stride (so to speak). But recently I've found myself watching people in their 70's walking to the shops and thinking that it's so unfair because I can't even walk to the kitchen without my body complaining, I go snap, crackle and pop, I have wobbly legs, bad pains in my back and legs, constant buzzing in my legs 24/7 which sometimes goes right through my whole body.
I can't sit comfortably, stand without pain or sleep well due to myoclonic jerks.
My wrists snap, crackle and pop so typing, knitting etc are no fun anymore.
In all this time I've tried to stay positive but just recently I'm getting more and more frustrated. I was never one to sit around doing nothing and I'm finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I have very little choice in the matter now.
Is this it now for the rest of my life?
Well I'm seeing neuro on Wednesday so let's hope he can find a miracle cure, if not maybe the rheumy I'm seeing in December will have the answer.
Living in hope.
Thanks for listening, it always helps to be able to come on here and have a grumble and get things off my chest.
Next journal I'll try to be more upbeat, just having a rough day today.
Take care all.