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Severe Sleep Apnea?!?

Oct 17, 2012 - 4 comments

Wow, so... Sleep specialist dr says I have severe sleep apnea, nice! I have no idea what that means, aside from I stop breathing frequently during the night, and my oxygen level dips alarmingly low.  And he wants me to wear this big face mask thingy machine to bed every night, for how long?  That would be forever:(.  So what's the alternative?  If left untreated death can occur!  How fun, a special sleeping machine face mask thingy at night.  Anybody reading this have any experience with them?

Kids...

Oct 09, 2012 - 0 comments

I love my kids so much!  I however cannot seem to make anyone happy... Everyone wants everything from me and I have nothing left!  I feel like my kids and probably everyone else are better off without me!  I am an emotional mess and I apparently make my kids unhappy and I clearly am not happy.  I just don't know what else to do:(. I just want out!

Labels?

Oct 06, 2012 - 3 comments

Why does everyone have to put a label on what they think is wrong with you?  Nobody knows what is going on with me so instead of helping and addressing the actual problem they just keep telling me I'm this and that and every doctor has a different diagnosis, but none of them seem to really fit...  I know I cannot be the only person in the world to be like this!!! I don't seem to fit in there specific little labels, so WHO CARES what you think it's called, just friggen FIX ME!!!!!  I am doing the work, everything that every doctor tells me to do, prescribes me etc.  I think I have been on more medication in the last 2 years then my entire life...  And every new doctor has a new diagnosis (which doesn't seem to fit) and changes or adds more pills... Then when they can't figure me out the cast me off to the next doctor to start/continue the process all over again!  I hate my life and if nobody (including me) can fix it then let me go!  Quit guilting me into this...   And I am just venting not attempting!

Like a dog chasing my tail on quicksand

Sep 29, 2012 - 1 comments

And the balls keep dropping.  Why does money have to be so important?  
Why do people think its ok to guilt trip others?
I can't believe the way my life keeps getting worse and worse!  I have been working hard with some slip ups but trying very hard to make life worth living, trying to distract myself with stuff to do, but really none of its working:(
I'm not strong enough for this, I don't know why people keep saying I am, I don't understand why people say god doesn't give you anymore then you can handle, because I honestly cannot handle all this, AND more as more keeps creeping up or running up on me!  It's so hard not to break down all the time, try to be strong for my kids and family but not feeling strong.
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