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Mar 31, 2010 - 2 comments

i have realised today that im really alone not just feeling it...the people i have around me really dont care how i feel at all they think cus i got threw a week or so thats it im cured well i aint!!! im hurting!! real bad.....
i dont want to be here any more if i didnt have kids i definatly would not be here they are the only reason i breathe....i love you my babies xx


Mar 29, 2010 - 0 comments

life is strange i must say.... i still feel lonely its been a difficult time and i been off the demon for while but still i feel lost at times and im too fed up to talk to people about it because i been off the crap people think thats it she's ok but im not..i dont think so any way im not sure how i feel any more, everything is different and "normal" day to day things take every inch of effort i have...moaning again aint own fault ...i quit smoking last week so guess that doesnt help......

day 10....

Feb 22, 2010 - 1 comments










considering ive had no sleep i feel ok ..i think....i have been trying to keep my self busy the last 2 days it seems to help, ive been drawing a lot..i love to draw, itsa good thing really as i tattoo for my not ready to face customers but im using my time to draw up pics for people......
im still not sure how im supposed to feel..i seem to be remembering past instead of now i cant really remember what i did yesterday something i gotta work on i guess...
hope this awake state lasts...asking for miracles but im truely hopefull atm........we will see......


Feb 20, 2010 - 0 comments






its day 8...the more days off these damn drugs the more i really hate seems i am waking up but im so depressed...nothing is right any more..i have changed and i hate myself so much!!.....i cant talk to any one they dont understand......i cant even bare to look at myself!...i dont know who i am any more????????????????
i just want to curl up and die..........