So after my cervical stitch was placed at the hospital and once the epidural wore off I started to experience cramping which got worse and worse.  They didn't place a catheter they just did an in and out with a catheter to empty my bladder until the epidural wore off.  Anyway the epidural took hours to wear off and of course I couldn't feel if I needed to pee or not.  Once I got the main feelings back in my legs and could walk to the toilet I tried to pee but nothing came out.  My butt and vaginal area were still numb.  So I got back into bed and my cramping got worse and worse and they had already given two doses of a morphine based pill because paracetamol wasn't working.  I got to the point were the morphine wasn't working and I was writhing in pain.  I called the nurse and she ran off to get a doctor and some IV morphine.  I was quite worried that I had gone into labour or something but was a bit comforted that the pains were constant and not coming and going.  Whilst the nurse was off finding the doctor I hobbled to the loo to try and pee again, this time my was vag wasn't all numb and I could go. It trickled out for what seemed ages - was probably about 2 or 3 minutes but there was heaps of pee.  After I finished I got up and realised that my pains were fading away, by the time I got back to my bed they were almost gone.  The doctor and nurse came rushing in with the IV and I'm sitting in bed looking all happy.  They were very confused LOL.  Anyway I explained that I had managed to pee and it had fixed my pains.  The doc explained that my bladder was just over full because I couldn't pee and it was probably the cause.  So that was a relief.  Anyway they decided to keep me in for a few more hours to watch me.  As time went by I needed to pee again to I went to the loo, this time the pains started back up after I had a pee - not to the same degree but still painful.  I took some more paracetamol and it eased it.  So I finally got discharged after reassuring them that pains weren't too bad and went home.  They gave me a script for some of the morphine based pills just in case.  So I have been home for a few days now and I am still in quite a bit of pain and it's mainly straight after I pee.  It very bad menstrual type cramping but it settles down about 15 mins after I pee.  I also get it randomly in between pees as well.  I am managing to keep it under control with paracetamol.  So I did some googling and because I have a stitch quite high up it could be irritating my bladder.  So I guess when it's full or empty is what's causing it.  When it's sort of middle full it's ok.  Ugh I wonder how long this is going to go on for - I hope it's not for the rest of my pregnancy!  I have a follow up appointment and scan on Tuesday with the specialist who put the stitch in so I'm hoping she might have some answers.

So I haven't actually posted on here about this but I had a scare two weeks ago and ended up going to hospital.  I woke up at about 3am in the morning needing to pee for about the 10th time that night.  So I had a pee and got back into bed and suddenly had the urge to go again like my bladder wasn't empty.  I got back up and tried to pee again but nothing would come out.  I got back into bed and still had that feeling like I needed to pee.  I tossed and turned for a while and then decided to go downstairs and lie on the couch as I didn't want to wake up Joaquim.

So I'm lying there and suddenly get these horrendous stomach pains which just got worse and worse.  I thought perhaps it was my bowel so I tried to go number twos.  A bit came out and then I lay back on the couch. Pains got worse so I tried to go to the loo again, a bit more came out but not that much.  The pains got so bad I called out to Joaquim as I was writhing in pain on the floor.  He came rushing down the stairs and by this time I had shooting pains in my vagina, I thought for sure I was loosing the baby.  Anyway he helped me to get dressed and we got in the car and headed to hospital.  On the way there the stomach pains just stopped.  I'm not sure if it was the paracetamol I took or if they would have just stopped anyway.  The vagina pains were still bad so we continued to hospital.  I got there and demanded they they check my cervix straight away which they did and it was closed. By this time the uncomfortable urge to pee had stopped  They then took my urine and did a vaginal swab and said the results wouldn't be back for a few days.  I was there for a few hours but because they couldn't find any reason for the pain they sent me home.  

So after this episode I haven't really had any more tummy pains, only mild pains in my vagina which they say is normal.  So yesterday I had my fortnightly cervix check and consultation at the high risk clinic (which is the same hospital I went to for the pains) and was telling the doctor about my scare.  I said to her it's strange because there was no infection (I assumed this because no one had rung me to tell me otherwise) yet the need to pee was so bad.  She then looked at my notes from the hospital visit and said yes you do have an infection - your urine came back positive for UTI and your vaginal swab also came back positive for Strep B.  She kind of played it down and said it's not that serious and gave me a prescription for antibiotics.  She told me not to be worried about it and a lot of pregnant ladies have this type of infection and didn't mean I was going to lose the baby.  So anyway I went away feeling reassured because my cervix was looking great and the baby was looking good too.

So on my way home I started thinking about when I lost Ruby and after I delivered her (different hospital) the doctor said the reason I went into pre-term labour could have been 1 of 3 things - incompetent cervix, placental abruption from a blood clot or infection. They did take a swab from my placenta and my vagina and it came back positive for Strep B. Again though they played that down and said a lot of pregnant women have that infection and that didn't necessarily cause the premature labour.  So yeah that was never focused on.  Unfortunately the piece of blood clot they took for testing was lost.

So while I'm thinking about all this, it pops into my head that I had this recent hospital visit two weeks ago and nobody rang to tell me I had an infection.  I only found out because I told the doctor about my scare and she looked at my notes.  What if I hadn't mentioned it - would it have gone unnoticed??  I have been googling infection and pre-term labour and apparently it accounts for up to 40% of preterm births.  Why is no one taking this more seriously!  I had Strep B with Ruby and now I have it with this pregnancy and everyone just plays it down but 40% is really high.  I am starting the antibiotics today but I am quite scared it will come back and how will I know.  Do I ask them to test me every so often for it??

The more I think about it the more I'm wondering if I lost Ruby because of the Step B.  What do you guys think??

My first appointment at the high risk clinic on Thursday went really well.  They spent about an hour and a half with me which was great - I even got to meet this professor guy who wanted to meet me.  So we went through my history and talked a bit about my last pregnancy and about losing Ruby etc.

They have decided not to give me the cervical stitch at this point and just monitor my cervix with fortnightly scans instead.  I am kind of worried about this and kind of relieved at the same time.  I am relieved because I know the stitch can cause miscarriage and this has had me freaked out for a while but I am also worried about not having it in case I did lose Ruby to an incompetant cervix.

They are saying, because it is more likey that I lost Ruby because of my antiphospholipid syndrome and the massive blood clot rather than an incompetant cervix , they think the risk outweighs the benefit of having it done.  I guess I just have to trust what they are saying and hope it's the right decision. Because it is a renowned professor that has decided this and he has a lot of knowledge around cervical incompetance, this makes me feel a lot better.

So I still have my weekly scans at the recurrent pregnancy loss clinic till 13 weeks and then I graduate from there and have fortnightly appointments and scans at the high risk clinic.  I am feeling well looked after :)

So I had my scan today.  I had an internal one because my uterus is retroverted and the tummy scans never show much.

So we saw a gestation sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole yet.  They kept yacking on about how early I am at 5 weeks, 6 days and it's too early to see the fetal pole blah blah blah.

But when I had my first scan with Ruby at 6 weeks exactly, everything was there - fetal pole and heartbeat and that was only one day later than what I am now.

I know every pregnancy is different but I can't help but compare.

I feel so deflated :(

Next scan is scheduled for a weeks time so I will be 6 weeks, 6 days.  If they don't see a heartbeat then, then I guess it's all over.

On the bright side I got my heparin shots and start them tonight.