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Time Flies

Jan 28, 2011 - 0 comments

I can't believe how fast time flies. It's almost unfathomable that Ariana is 8 1/2 months now. She's closer to being one year than she is to being a newborn!! I cannot even tell you how much I miss that newborn stage. I miss being in the hospital with her almost most out of all of it.
She has grown so fast and I'm so proud of her! Now she is sitting up, rolling over, pulling up, crawling EVERWHERE, laughing all the time, feeding herself... the list goes on. She's learned how to use a straw & a sippy cup too! Where did my tiny little 7 lb baby go?!
I'm not excited for her 1st birthday to come. I'm not excited at all. Actually I'm dreading it and thinking about it makes me really sad. I think the feeling comes from the fact that I know DH and I are done having children. I do not have desire for another child, and I know that I will never desire to have another child. I DO miss the newborn stage, and I know baby fever will hit soon enough. But I will be able to distinguish between baby fever & wanting to raise another son/daughter.
The fact that I've only experienced a full term pregnancy, delivery, hospital stay, and newborn stage once makes me really sad. I WISH i could replay that part of my life. Every moment was so special. I'm definitely embracing the moment she is in now because I know in the blink of an eye it'll pass and I'll miss this too. :/



I'll be here--but come and go :)

Jan 06, 2011 - 2 comments

i decided im not going to permanently delete my medhelp, as I still ask questions sometimes and need help from yall often. I do truly appreciate all the help ive gotten over this past year, and ive made some great friends on here; i care about yall more than you know!! it's a great community and i would still like to call myself a part of it. i think i am going to distance myself a little bit though. i'll still be here, and if anyone needs to talk, ask a question, or whatever, you are more than welcome to write me a note or pm me. i'll still log on most days, i probably just wont post as often!
i feel there is a lot of drama on here, more than there used to be. and i feel as if i might be irritated more often than not. for that reason, im taking a little break. but i am sure as time goes by, i will begin to post more and more again. i just need a little time.
but i love you all, and i'll still be here if you need anything! and ill be posting questions as i need to, and i hope yall will still help me! :)

im so P I S S ED

Oct 27, 2010 - 32 comments

so much for the whole boob job thing im so mad at DH.. some of you may think its ridiculous that id be mad he said no to something like this, but i dont think its ridiculous. im the type of person that likes to treat ourselves as long as we can afford it.
after i am finished with my laser surgery for stretch marks and after my winter clothes are purchased, we will have an extra 416 dollars to put into savings a month. 416. that is 10x the 40 dollars we are putting in right now.
a boob job would cost 90 dollars a month. so we would have 326 dollars extra to play with, STILL. even AFTER a boob job. i bring in 240 a month. i think 90 a month is more than fair to me. he knows how bad i want one. and he knows how much better i would feel about myself if i had one. and he knows how important my looks are to me. he knows how much i obsess over it.
if you think im being selfish or immature, please refrain from telling me. this journal is purely to vent.
this is the part about marriage i HATE. i feel so controlled. i am not used to having to get permission from someone before i do something i want to do for MY body with MY money. it is something that is going to take a lot of getting used to.
i had a baby, i birthed his kid. his body didn't suffer for it, so of course he doesn't care. but i care. i want to be able to treat myself.
well i told him not to even dream of having another child because if this is going to be how cheap he is when it comes to repairing my body after a baby, then i wont have another one. i dont want another one anyways.
UGHHHHH.

Sitting up

Oct 24, 2010 - 5 comments

Ariana started sitting up at 5 months and 1 week old. She started by balancing on her hands, and two days later she could sit up without the hands :) granted, she falls over after about ten seconds, but i just sit her back up again. She loves it :)