Anxiety/Panic Tracker Journals
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Intrusive Thoughts

Sep 28, 2011 - 0 comments

intrusive thoughts



I seem to have picked this one really rare medical ailment and I find myself sometimes freaking out for no reason over it. I don't have it and chances are VERY slim that I'll ever get it, but I am terrified of it. I think it's because it seems like it's possibly the most horrible thing that could happen to a person, and it's become one of my biggest fears. I'm not even going to say what it is because I don't want to traumatize anyone else lol. Yesterday at work I suddenly worried that I was seconds away from getting it, and I felt that all too familiar heat rise from my core. I started to feeling a little faint, hot, and dizzy, but I breathed through it and calmed my dumb *** down. So that's a good thing. Now if only I could forget this stupid medical thing, I think I would be happy.

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Stupid Movie

May 30, 2011 - 0 comments

Don't watch The Human Centipede. It totally caused me to have a really minor panic attack, but still any kind of panic attack no matter how minor is not cool. I use to love horror movies, and I still do, but I think there are definitely some that I should not watch. This was one of them.

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Jan 20, 2011 - 0 comments

The slight adrenaline rush/almost panic attack/anxiety feeling I got today at work was brought on by a picture. I was reading a bunch of random top 10 lists on the internet trying to pass the time that is oh so slowly dragging on at work. I was reading a list about the 10 worst moments in sports, and one was about some hockey player who had his jugular sliced open by another player's skate. Gross enough, right?

But then.....there was a picture.

A picture of this guy holding his neck that is spurting out blood which is staining the ice all around him. A line in the story said something about how when it happened a bunch of people puked and a guy in the audience actually had a heart attack. I felt like I was about to do both of those things as well.

I can usually handle gory, I use to watch lots of horror movies back in the day. But this....I just don't know. It was odd. And gross. And I felt like I was going to faint.

Stupid internet. I decide to stop googling medical ailments in a bid to keep my anxiety low, so I start looking at sites that are suppose to be funny/interesting/time wasters, and this is what happens?

Lame. And gross.

I'm better now, the whole episode lasted maybe a minute, but it was definitely weird.

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Jan 02, 2011 - 1 comments

I was in the middle of cleaning and doing laundry when I suddenly just felt so weak. Like my legs could no longer support me, and I was about to lose all control of my body. I thought that at any moment I would crumple into a heap on the floor. It was just like......I couldn't feel anything. I had no strength. I began to hyperventilate and my thoughts immediately became "something must be terribly wrong". The panic itself lasted only a second, but I'm still feeling shaky and unsteady. Not sure what's going on, but I'm resigning myself to the fact that it may just be a new anxiety symptom. A new little feeling that my brain and body blew way out of proportion.

I'm tired of that happening. Freaking drama queens.

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