Recovery Tracker Journals
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first day of three.

May 11, 2010 - 1 comments
Tags:

3 days to cleanliness

,

weaning

,

tapering

,

excited



i mean, on 10mgs.  then i'll be clean.  i can't wait.

Recovery Tracker

depression.

May 04, 2010 - 2 comments
Tags:

severely depressed

,

withdrawal

,

lost pregnancy

,

i hate myself

,

weaning

,

tapering



it getting the very best of me.  i feel so incredibly, indescribably awful today.  i am crying at everything.  i would be near 6 months pregnant right now if i didn't miscarry.  i wish i could have kept it; i wish i could have had something to take care of instead of needing everyone to take care of me.  and, of course, as soon as i found out - i quit.  cold turkey.  i wasn't as bad at that point but it didn't matter - i had a reason.

what's my reason now?  i hate myself; what i've become.  i don't want to be addicted but i don't want to feel this way.  i want to crawl out of my own skin.  i want to be someone, somewhere, anyone, anywhere else.

Recovery Tracker

i broke.

May 03, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

Lost

,

weaning

,

i broke

,

withdrawal symptoms

,

Depression



had to take an extra today - felt really crappy.  i started to have severe depression, which i already have.  i feel lost.

Recovery Tracker

first day at 30mgs.

May 02, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

tapering

,

weaning

,

Hope



as the title says, it's our first day at 30mgs.  i still feel pretty crappy but much better than yesterday.  i hope it sticks.

Recovery Tracker