baby j Journals
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contractions 7-10mins apart

Feb 12, 2011 - 1 comments

so on my FB page i wrote:
dear baby you are hearby given an eviction notice and asked to vacate the premises of one comfortable uterus by midnight on the 14th Feb 2011, failure to do so will result in one life line, the placenta being flooded with very frustrating hormones which won't be very nice...you have been warned and served.

LOL
anyhow i had contractions 7-10 mins apart which suddenly stopped at 3.30am this morning! punishment i guess.
my last appointment work wise is giving 14 children a crafting lesson at a birthday party today, the mother a friend has been worried i wont make it, im just hoping baby is holding out until afterwards...in fact so am i!
its hard work being pregnant now and im not getting any smaller...DH has to put my socks on for me everymorning thats not so good as i am sooo tickleish its quite a feat..pardon the expression.
my support birthing partner Kym who is on standby incase dave's away had a massive panic attack yesturday which rendered her unable to get home from the school run, she was in quite a state...apparently she stopped taking her meds...can't rely on her, not that i'lll say anything toher of course it would devastate her......  so im a bit more panicked about my impending hospital trip...urghhhhh i feel like screaming today....dave says ive been very hormonal and tetchy of late and then yesturday he's never seen me so restless....oh please baby come soon and end this torture....i am so ready for it  now xx

baby j

totally devastated

Feb 10, 2011 - 10 comments

i had an antenatal appointment yesturday and was told that i cannot have a waterbirth at my local unit. as my `simple but enlarged cyst` has been giving them cause for concern i have to goto the large hospital because the cyst could stop my uterine contractions, acting like an obstacle which potentially could deprive baby of vital oxygen.
wherein i want baby to be safe, from wk 30 i have been practising my self hypnosis for a waterbirth and had not envisaged a hospital environment because i have had 2 very successful waterbirths at the unit.
also i have never seen the birthing rooms at the big hospital and feel so far away from home and everything there, last week was hard being on the wards let alone with a new baby. they don't allow visitors during the day and hubby can only come in for an hour during the evening so its a very lonely place.
i am about to go online to www.nhs.uk/birthplan because i now HAVE to make a birthplan and i also have to list down the things that now worry me....this is my list of worries so far.......
i am anxious about going into hospital and having my baby in unfamiliar surroundings.
i am worried about going over my due date, as i have had a very long uncomfortable and tireing pregnancy already and i am now worried for my babies safety.
i live in fear of not making it to the hospital on time as my last labour was under 2 hours from feeling uncomfortable to the birth.
i am afraid that i won't be able to cope with the pain as i have concentrated my self hypnosis on a waterbirth and after 2 previous waterbirths i know that water plays a huge part in keeping me calm and helping me with the pain.

i am totally devastated at the prospect of not getting a waterbirth in familiar surroundings something i know contributed to a safe, calm and easier labour and birth to which i have had in 2 previous pregnancies.

i haven't stopped crying and when i did sleep it was full of nightmares about going to hospital....i just dont know what to do....i know going there is safer for my baby and that is paramount but this feeling of dread and fear is soooo strong i so want this all over with now...
:(

baby j

fed up

Feb 09, 2011 - 1 comments

so fed uo of not sleeping due to contractions and crampy period pains, i tossed and turned trying to get comfy last night, this morning we `got it on` and after i had a blood streaked mucusy show again, not a lot but enough to notice, its now the stage where i am well and truely out of patience and want my baby out.
my weight has dropped...is that a sign?
antenatal at 2.45 pm today x

baby j

ahh another day

Feb 08, 2011 - 0 comments

so i was awake most of last night with those blasted cramps again..this is awful...come on already im sooo over being pregnant and want to get a move on with this.
i know they say baby will come when shes ready but really the waiting game is sooo frustrating...where has my patience gone?
i keep forgetting to wiegh myself...just as well i expect but my stomach measures 49 inches despite having dropped...ive usually made it to 47 inches then delivered so this explains why my jeans feel a bit tight!
im peeing for england again...babies head is so low it cant get any lower without coming out!
ive an antenatal tommorrow at 2.45pm and its the one where we discuss what sort of birth id like...i have a feeling that because of my cyst they'll want me in Bath the main hospital but im desperate for another water birth at my local unit...thats what my self hypnosis has been concentrating on and im prettty sure they'll be so busy at Bath i wont get a look in on their one pool...where as my local unit seems very quiet (until i go into labour then it'll suddenly be full wait and see!)
ive begun to count kicks each day after the news that actress Amanda Holden lost her son at 7 months last tuesday...how scarey is that? i can't imagine her pain as she was sooo close, ive lost at 4 months and that remains raw to this day so she must be in pieces.
im craving a glass of wine....i can actually smell it altho there's no wine open in the house...why is that?
im too tired from nesting even tho im sure i could find something to tidy...this pregnancy stuff is wierd xx

baby j