Mood Tracker Journals
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i dunno anymore

Aug 27, 2011 - 0 comments

ive been in a deep depression for a couple weeks now ive sad lonely and angry im wasting my life and to that note i realised i am wasting my life i need treatment and support im just not coping anymore. my life isnt over yet its just beginning and if people forget about because of what i am then screw them im perfect im me.

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im losing the battle....i think

Aug 14, 2011 - 0 comments

well where do i start i still haven't sort out help and advise from professionals like counselling or medication. i dont write in my journal anymore and i havent updated my tracker in over a week! i get into dark depressive moods and they last longer than ever. im lonelier than ever but i dont want anybody to help me i dont want to drag them into my hell. my best friend betrayed my trust by telling someone we knew about bipolar. i just feel like sometimes i cant breath and just want to escape or scream or even cry! i get the occassional hour where im actually happy and optimistic about my future the i can do anything mood thats what im calling it anyway. they make it worse because for short time i believe in myself then something will happen it could be anything a bad memory, a petty arguement a knock back down to reality and then within a moment im lower and darker than the time before i writing this now because i need to get it out i need to be understood.

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Jun 15, 2011 - 0 comments

money worried

im worried about money now that i quit my job i have monthly direct debits that obviously need paying presently im going on holiday in just over a weeks time and need money to get to the airport and to buy food and a visa which totals to £40. i thought i had enough but then another £11 has gone from my account for insurance for my laptop that i pay for monthly but theres a £52 debit coming out on the 28th and ill be short if i take the £40 for airport and the debit. im gunna have to borrow off family.

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Jun 14, 2011 - 0 comments

i feel lost, confused and fustrated as if im worthless and wasting this life ive been in this place before and it was very dark and grim. i dont want to be who i am i want rip apart everything about me. i want to cry. im wide awake at 1am and cnt stop thinking of what a failure my life is ive achieved nothing and screwed up so many oppertunities. i can barely recognise myself in the mirror. i actually feel like im screaming inside and ripping away my emotions bit by bit i cant do this anymore am i too lost to be saved?! maybe...

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