Yesterday my internet crashed, so I couldn't get online all day! ~ Well, I called yesterday to get the results of my beta, the Dr. wasn't in but the receptionist said the result was negative, and when I asked her what am I supposed to do now, just keep waiting for my period?? She said when the Dr. gets in he will call me... I had errands to run, so I went out for a few hours and came home and NO phone call...What a Jack A$$!
I'm still lightly spotting, hardly anything really, it finally turned from brown to pinkish/light red yesterday, and I started having some cramps so I thought for sure I'd get some kind of FLOW and finally have fracking closure to this cycle and move on, but NOOO, still waiting. I'm starting to think maybe I did not ovulated and I'm having some kind of weird annovulatory cycle, my temps are weird so I don't even know what to think anymore. I will call the Dr. again Monday, will probably have to make an apt. to go in and see what the heck is going, at which time I will express my dissatisfaction at the fact that he didn't extend the courtesy of calling me to let me know what I should/need to do next. I'm at my wits end and I've even told DH I'm not so sure I can even keep trying anymore. I'm so lost and confused, and I'm irritated that I can't even get a period now so I can just move on. I'm at the point where I just wanna give up and put this whole TTC business behind me and get on with life. I know this is very selfish though, because DH does not want me to give up just yet. He's so loving and supportive and tries to encourage me to keep trying. He tries to reassure me that it will happen, it will just take a little more time, Bless his heart, I wish I had his patience! I'm truly lacking in the patience department. I just keep thinking that if I wrap my head around giving up TTC, and move on with life, and just not even think about it, maybe that's when it will actually happen, I mean I hear all the time how women who throw in the towel suddenly find out they are pregnant without even trying.. Maybe my problem is that I'm just trying too hard. I have obsessive compulsive tendencies anyways... I dunno, I never thought I'd be praying so hard for AF, I'd rather have a full on niagra falls AF for 3-5 days, than to just keep having endless spotting day after day after day.