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Aug 22, 2017 - 0 comments

IM SO MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED. FOR ALMOST 6 YEARS BEING DIAGNOSED WITH SARC AND congestive heart failure, FIBRO AND DIABETES EVEN BEFORE THAT, YEARS OF DEPRESSION, i AM JUST SO TIRED. i WAKE TIRED i GO THROUGH EVERY WAKING HOUR TIRED. i FEEL LIKE THE FLU ONLY WITHOUT THE CONGESTIVE PART OF IT. i am non stop in pain I am non stop depressed i am nonstop exhausted. yet no one understands everyone wants me to push myself and continually ask me to do stuff for them.  I just don't understand, this is illness is slowly killing me and no one can see it.  Wonder how many would ask a cancer patient to do the things they ask me to do, or even someone with the flu. Why,? I quit work because of the mental issues that comes along with neuro sarc, but i'm still expected to go on and not mess up, I know people even close family think i can "help it" when I mess up. Just so tired.  God gets me through my days talking to him and he does so many things for me to be able to make it in this world. He knows I am tired too.


Aug 09, 2016 - 0 comments

felt tired and slightly depressed all day

2-4-16 day35

Feb 04, 2016 - 0 comments

Wow it has been a difficult 3 days mentally and physically. It has stressed Jeff too cause we got in a argument while out getting grocerys and feeling were hurt, we made up. It breaks my heart and soul for us to argue. dad visited todauy for angela to tell me how her and her sister went with my dad and planned and paid for his funeral.  Barb was doing better some yesterday and they plan to do her othe surgery fri or mon.  My stomach is staying very swollen, and I feel terrible mentally and physically, just totally exhausted with today best out of the last three.  i am suppose to sit with Barb tomorrow at noon.  Lots of leg swelling, still off meds and did lab work today. i will finally see if the thyroid, iron and prozac actually did any thing.  trying hard to work on my and jeffies health but so hard to study and concentrate with life going as it has lately. he gets to work next week for one week.  going to bed and hoping to feel much better tomorrow . I Love GOD and JESUS and Thank them for the Holy Spirit to guide me. Im Thankful for my family and home and all that God has allowed me to have. I sure wish I would have taken better care of myself and the ones I love. Still really dizzy and feels like inside of my head moves even if I dont. Breathing was pretty bad today chest is heavy and feels like throat isnt open enough to breath. heart thumped and raced some today.

2-1-16 day32

Feb 01, 2016 - 0 comments

10:53am = Woke up extremely stiff and painful, slightly depressed and overwhelmed. Stayed with Barb and Beth at the hospital a few hours yesterday, hurt very bad yesterday morning pretty much all over. Still having headaches  although they arent all day long ones like a couple of weeks in a row was.   I hate going out all the time, but Beth needs a break sometimes so me and Suz and Amy are trying to help. Johnny dont come home much and seems to not care when he does. Barb is still hanging on but it sure dont look like she will pull through all this.  My hand and legs all the way down to my feet all are hurting and have a tingling feeling my knees are popping again not too bad pain but the right one does have occasional pain and it has that buzzing feeling in the injection area.  I hurt all over at this moment I have so much to do and do not feel good at all. Would lve to just go back to bed.