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Trending Down! Watch Out! Don't Plateau.

Aug 29, 2015 - 0 comments

I looked at harder stuff than I have since the last time I acted out. Luckily, I changed my mind and closed the browser. I am going through withdrawals, but I have to get back on track. My faith needs get be greater. I'm getting too close to the edge. This can't go on forever, or I'll be stuck on this plateau. Or I'll creep into harder and harder stuff until I realize I'm acting out again!

15 days

Aug 28, 2015 - 0 comments

I'm set on abstaining from any looking at all for 15 days. That will take me to 30 days overall.  I did look for about 2 min. yesterday. A big improvement! I need 15 days to BEGIN for it to feel like NOT acting out is normal.

Tennis seems to be the thing to replace SA. SW is helping too, but tennis replaces those feel good chemicals from SA. Need to play at least 5 times a day.

Am hoping for a perfectly clean day.

Break Through This Wall!

Aug 26, 2015 - 0 comments

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I came so close to acting out tonight. I know I am experiencing withdrawals. No doubt my affirmations have worked. But I think recognizing that Im going through withdrawals will help. It should also help that after ten weeks of dieting I have lost ten pounds and have gained a lot of self control. I can resist eating unhealthy foods. I don't HAVE to have sweets. I think SA will be the same way. It was difficult at first, but now it is easier if not easy.

I am viewing SA the same way. I need to lose all of this excess chemicals that I desire. I have found myself at a wall. I need to break through! What does that look like? The next 15 days will be looking free.It needs to be in order that I move forward through this wall. Thank God I haven't acted out like I have...and not since two weeks ago! But in order to take the next step I need to SUCK IT UP AND DIG IN!

I have lost interest in YouTube for some reason, BUT THIS IS GREAT! Just Tennis videos. No more ministry for a while. My ministry will have to be SW.

There is plenty of new things in my life to distract me while I dig in: tennis, sw (to GET OUT OF NABISCO!)

Though I have not been perfectly clean, I have accomplished much. Much for my level of acting out. Now it's time to take the next step and break through this wall I have meet.


Half Way to 30!

Aug 26, 2015 - 0 comments

I'm halfway to 30 days. I know this hasn't been a purely clean 15 days so far. I'm hoping to not look at hardcore porn for thirty days. In this 30 days I am also hoping to use this time to BEGIN to develop new attitudes AND ALSO BEGIN TO HAVE THE TRUTH SWIRLING IN MY MIND CONSTANTLY by using affirmations. I hope they become the dominant thoughts when I am tempted to look.

But for now, this 30 days is for progress and abstaining and replacing porn with worthwhile things.