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a funeral

Dec 30, 2015 - 0 comments
Tags:

Anxiety

,

fear of death

,

sleep



i'm going to my grandmother's funeral today. i'm so afraid of death now, i guess i've gone from one extreme to another, now terrified of something i used to crave. anyone can die at anytime, whenever someone gets in a car i'm sure that they're gone forever, if they don't respond, if they use the oven, if they go to sleep they're dead. oh well.

i sleep so much now, it seems to be my escape from the chaos around me.

a bit helpless

Dec 29, 2015 - 0 comments
Tags:

psychiatrist

,

meds

,

helpless



i still have my psychologist who is just amazing, but my psychiatrist retired without warning and soon i will be out of my meds. every psychiatrist near me either won't take me or is over $800, fantastic. i got my meds renewed a few weeks ago with my tamoxifen, but that doctor said she wouldn't renew my psych meds again.


big sigh, numb mind

Dec 29, 2015 - 0 comments
Tags:

brain fog

,

Numb

,

apathy

,

Mental Health

,

mother alchoholic



my mother is most likely going to enter a rehab facility, she came home drunk again last night. it's almost ironic that she would get drunk on the way home for an aa meeting. i still feel almost nothing, my mind is very foggy.

also

Dec 28, 2015 - 0 comments
Tags:

Death

,

family



my grandmother died