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7 days on 2mg of sub and having anxiety

Nov 27, 2011 - 2 comments

7 days on 2mg of sub and today I wound up having to take another 2mg is the evening.  Not sure why today was such a bad day but I have felt sick and restless all day...  I really hope tomorrow brings a better day for myself as Im going back to work.  The thought of being uncomfortable an sick at work makes me nervous. But I have to work and I have to do this..  I really really hope that about two weeks from now I will be making a jornal entry saying that I feel comfortable at my 2mg a day rather than just getting by. Sometimes I think the sickness that I am feeling comes from anxiety...  Its like my heart starts racing and a get a rush and then I start to feel extremly withdrawal sick. Evne when I should not be feeling any withdrawal at all. If I am going to make it through this process and come out the other side I need to get this anxiety under control and NOT with any type of meds...  I am only on subs and I do NOT want to be on any other medications...  

I am always thinking throughout my day do others have these same issues????????????????

Slipped up

Nov 18, 2011 - 0 comments

Slipped up and took a 8mg suboxone after taking nothing for 8 days!

I am so frustrated and because of this set back almost feel like I have to start all over again after just putting in the hardest 8 days of my life. Stinks.

Addiction Recovery Tracker

Day 1

Nov 11, 2011 - 2 comments

Today was not as bad as I thought it would be. I am just happy to have gotten through it. For ten years taking pills has been my life. I am so ready for this chapter to be over and I truly hope there is light at the end of the tunnell. I suppose the once I am able to remove this stuff from my life I am going to have address why I have always hated myself. Hating myself is why I started in the first place. People would look at me and tell me I was crazy for feeling the way that I do. They would kill to look like me and kill to have what I have. I dont get myself and why I tend to self destruct the way that I do. I want to be med free and to acutally put some effort into living a life actually worth living.

Right now I just get by and recently I have decided that is NOT enough.