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Aug 30, 2012 - 11 comments
So I'm starting my shut down meds tonight (buserelin injections) and I just feel so emotional and nervous! :( I feel I could just burst into tears any second.
I've also just found out my best mate who I work with, who's currently on mat leave, has handed in her notice and I'm gutted. I havent been enjoying my job since my m/c and the only thing keeping me going there was the though that she was due back very soon, and now I've lost her too :(
I know Im just feeling emotional with the thought of another ivf, and after how poorly I got last time after ER, and then getting my long awaited bfp only to lose it.....
Lordy I'm not even on the meds yet and already all over the place lol! I'm so nervous :( I'm not sure my heart can take another disappointment.
I've also just found out my best mate who I work with, who's currently on mat leave, has handed in her notice and I'm gutted. I havent been enjoying my job since my m/c and the only thing keeping me going there was the though that she was due back very soon, and now I've lost her too :(
I know Im just feeling emotional with the thought of another ivf, and after how poorly I got last time after ER, and then getting my long awaited bfp only to lose it.....
Lordy I'm not even on the meds yet and already all over the place lol! I'm so nervous :( I'm not sure my heart can take another disappointment.
Jun 26, 2012 - 5 comments
June 26th
These last few days have been a huge rollercoaster and I don't think we are done yet...
After my negative HPT, my bloods from yesterday (9dp5dt) have come back positive but very low, only 22iu. The hospital want me back asap today to have more bloods taken to check the levels.....
I'm struggling to get my head around being told it was positive....and terrified its being taken away from us already! I am literally still shaking from head to foot, what an emotional mess I am!
Is there anything that can be done to help make a little bean implant better, or is it too late?
June 27th
Still waiting on the results of my 2nd beta (done 24 hrs apart) and I have a really bad feeling :-(
I've awoke feeling odd...less sore than yesterday, less tender boobs and I dunno...just a feeling deep down that this little bean just didn't get it's chance and its over before it properly began. I feel almost relieved to know that we can get pregnant....albeit for a very very short time! I know Im not being optimistic, but I'm trying to be realistic too and not set myself up for a massive fall when I know, based on the facts, that there isnt much hope.
The waiting is a little annoying now....I could phone the clinic and get a nurse to tell me, but Im a scaredy cat lol, and would rather not hear this news over the phone and instead have my consultant email me.....
Sat 30th June
So today I am 14dp5dt (19dpo) and I still don't feel pregnant! Every morning for the last 3 days I awake to cramps which I can't tell if are period like or cause I need to move my bowels. But each day it seems to fade once I have been to the loo, so I'm praying it's only that!
Went to see my acupuncturist last night and although she knows our numbers desperately need to improve come Monday's beta, she could tell by my uterus contracting that I am, for now, definitely pregnant :) I'm still scared to say it, and have told only 1 of my sisters (I am so close to my large family) but I don't think it's the right time to tell anyone else until we know how the pregnancy is doing. I'm scared....and excited too....
Am going to do my digital clear blue test tomorrow morning....I will update how we get on!
These last few days have been a huge rollercoaster and I don't think we are done yet...
After my negative HPT, my bloods from yesterday (9dp5dt) have come back positive but very low, only 22iu. The hospital want me back asap today to have more bloods taken to check the levels.....
I'm struggling to get my head around being told it was positive....and terrified its being taken away from us already! I am literally still shaking from head to foot, what an emotional mess I am!
Is there anything that can be done to help make a little bean implant better, or is it too late?
June 27th
Still waiting on the results of my 2nd beta (done 24 hrs apart) and I have a really bad feeling :-(
I've awoke feeling odd...less sore than yesterday, less tender boobs and I dunno...just a feeling deep down that this little bean just didn't get it's chance and its over before it properly began. I feel almost relieved to know that we can get pregnant....albeit for a very very short time! I know Im not being optimistic, but I'm trying to be realistic too and not set myself up for a massive fall when I know, based on the facts, that there isnt much hope.
The waiting is a little annoying now....I could phone the clinic and get a nurse to tell me, but Im a scaredy cat lol, and would rather not hear this news over the phone and instead have my consultant email me.....
Sat 30th June
So today I am 14dp5dt (19dpo) and I still don't feel pregnant! Every morning for the last 3 days I awake to cramps which I can't tell if are period like or cause I need to move my bowels. But each day it seems to fade once I have been to the loo, so I'm praying it's only that!
Went to see my acupuncturist last night and although she knows our numbers desperately need to improve come Monday's beta, she could tell by my uterus contracting that I am, for now, definitely pregnant :) I'm still scared to say it, and have told only 1 of my sisters (I am so close to my large family) but I don't think it's the right time to tell anyone else until we know how the pregnancy is doing. I'm scared....and excited too....
Am going to do my digital clear blue test tomorrow morning....I will update how we get on!
Jun 13, 2012 - 4 comments
Well, Monday's egg collection didn't quite turn out how we thought!
The actual process itself seemed to go ok with 12 eggs collected. I was in recovery and went to sit up to get my tea then everything went white, fuzzy and arms & legs went rigid, couldn't move them. Apparently I fainted. My blood pressure was very low so the nurses were monitoring me but I was getting worse. I had pain in my lower belly, and my veins kept collapsing due to blood pressure, but they got me on a drip.
Blood pressure just kept getting really low so they decided to move me to the gynae ward for a scan of my belly for bleeding. This dr kept trying to get another line in my arm, and with my veins being small and not willing to corporate I ended up being stuck 3 more times with no result, so painful!
Anyway I suffer from shoulder pain during my monthly cycle anyway, which I've been told is natural due to some fluid build up so I get deferred shoulder pain. Well both my shoulders and both my sides of belly (under ribs) were agony. I could barely lie down for my internal and external ultrasounds from not being able to breath for the pain.
So, turns out I had some internal bleeding from the egg collection, which had stopped, but I also had a large amount of fluid in my pelvic area. They kept me in overnight, and in total I went through 4 drips before they took me off. They decided not to take me back to theatre as the bleeding had stopped and clotted, and hopefully over the next few days the fluid etc will naturally absorb into my body.
Tuesday morning my haemoglobin count came back from 10.8 the night before, to 8.2 so they offered to do a blood transfusion, and to take me down to try drain some of the fluid. My heartrate had gone up also as now my heart is needing to work that little bit more to compensate for the lost blood. After a long talk with our consultant, who was amazing, we decided against both. I was borderline for the transfusion, so we decided to take the iron tablets and for me to rest at home, eating lots of foods rich in iron/fibre and to drink at least 3 litres. They are still hoping to do a 5 day transfer on Saturday as long as I have recovered.
I know it's a gamble, but we have got this far and I'm going to make sure my body rests and heals in time. They have also said they will do there best to freeze one or two embryos but a day 5 blastocyst is hard to freeze I believe.
The good news from all of this is that 11 of our 12 eggs fertilised, so all being well and pray to god we shall go ahead on Saturday!
I'm much better and have never needed my amazing hubby more than ever these last 36 hrs. He was almost as white as me apparently when I fainted and was so worried about me he cried on the way home when he left me in hospital Monday night :(
The actual process itself seemed to go ok with 12 eggs collected. I was in recovery and went to sit up to get my tea then everything went white, fuzzy and arms & legs went rigid, couldn't move them. Apparently I fainted. My blood pressure was very low so the nurses were monitoring me but I was getting worse. I had pain in my lower belly, and my veins kept collapsing due to blood pressure, but they got me on a drip.
Blood pressure just kept getting really low so they decided to move me to the gynae ward for a scan of my belly for bleeding. This dr kept trying to get another line in my arm, and with my veins being small and not willing to corporate I ended up being stuck 3 more times with no result, so painful!
Anyway I suffer from shoulder pain during my monthly cycle anyway, which I've been told is natural due to some fluid build up so I get deferred shoulder pain. Well both my shoulders and both my sides of belly (under ribs) were agony. I could barely lie down for my internal and external ultrasounds from not being able to breath for the pain.
So, turns out I had some internal bleeding from the egg collection, which had stopped, but I also had a large amount of fluid in my pelvic area. They kept me in overnight, and in total I went through 4 drips before they took me off. They decided not to take me back to theatre as the bleeding had stopped and clotted, and hopefully over the next few days the fluid etc will naturally absorb into my body.
Tuesday morning my haemoglobin count came back from 10.8 the night before, to 8.2 so they offered to do a blood transfusion, and to take me down to try drain some of the fluid. My heartrate had gone up also as now my heart is needing to work that little bit more to compensate for the lost blood. After a long talk with our consultant, who was amazing, we decided against both. I was borderline for the transfusion, so we decided to take the iron tablets and for me to rest at home, eating lots of foods rich in iron/fibre and to drink at least 3 litres. They are still hoping to do a 5 day transfer on Saturday as long as I have recovered.
I know it's a gamble, but we have got this far and I'm going to make sure my body rests and heals in time. They have also said they will do there best to freeze one or two embryos but a day 5 blastocyst is hard to freeze I believe.
The good news from all of this is that 11 of our 12 eggs fertilised, so all being well and pray to god we shall go ahead on Saturday!
I'm much better and have never needed my amazing hubby more than ever these last 36 hrs. He was almost as white as me apparently when I fainted and was so worried about me he cried on the way home when he left me in hospital Monday night :(
Jun 06, 2012 - 1 comments
So I was back at the hospital today for another scan and my blood results. FSH levels, thyroid etc were all fine, however the Consultant has decided to put on my some Thyroxine for the time being - she said it helps so I'm happy to take anything.
Follies were as follows:
Left
13 / 9.5 / 9.5 / 13.5 / 14 / 13 / 11 / 9 / 8.5
Right
16 / 14.5 / 15 / 10.5 / 8.5 / 13 / 12 / 10.5 / 9.5 / 11.5 / 8.5
My endometrium is now 8.4mm
Retrieval is booked for 11th June, with the transfer hopefully on day 5 thereafter.
Follies were as follows:
Left
13 / 9.5 / 9.5 / 13.5 / 14 / 13 / 11 / 9 / 8.5
Right
16 / 14.5 / 15 / 10.5 / 8.5 / 13 / 12 / 10.5 / 9.5 / 11.5 / 8.5
My endometrium is now 8.4mm
Retrieval is booked for 11th June, with the transfer hopefully on day 5 thereafter.
