Well for the last year or so has been crazy. First it was my father in law with that flesh eating bacteria, then he had a heart attack we got him better. Then my mother in law's leg started swelling. She went to the doctor they thought they had treated it but it kept getting worse so went back to the doctor and we found out she had a tumor on one of her kidneys and that she had cervical cancer. We found all this out around Thanksgiving.  She started cemo and it was shrinking the tumor but not touching the cancer. Then she started having problems with her kidneys  these last few months so she had to stop the cemo. She got real sick on 06-06-14 that is when we found out one of her kidneys had shut down amd the other one was shutting down. She was released from the hospital on 06-10-14. She came home on hospice. DH and I stayed home to take care of her. We would get up in the middle of the night to give her meds to her. I can say she was a strong fighter. She fought to see her birthday.  She passed away on her birthday 06-17-14 @ 7:13 am. It broke my heart to see her suffer and it was the hardest thing I had to see watching her slowly slipping away. But I promised her I would be the till the end. We laid her to rest yesterday. I know it has been only a couple of days but I miss her so much. She might have been my mother in law but she was more like my mom.

So I went to a weight Dr on May 6th 2014. I really didn't want to but I know I needed to loose some weight. I am hoping that it works and that by me loosing some weight might help me get our miracle baby. I haven't really tried this cycle cause I have been to busy helping my mom with my 6 niece's that I wasn't home to do my OPK's. And plus it's the end of the school year here and my daughter has had so much going on but her last day is May 22nd thank GOD lol. So maybe it will wine down some and I can try next cycle. I think it would help to if we get our own place. We was in the process of cleaning one up and was going to move into it after my dd got out of school but someone went and burnt it to the ground talk about mad and upset I was mad. And the funny thing it never was called in. The day we discovered it was burnt we was going to have the electric turned on. It didn't even have a meter.  Anyways I have been awake since 2 am central daylight time and it is 4:41am. I don't know why I can't sleep but I figured I would write a journal sorry for rambling on. I guess I will see if I can go back to sleep now.

Ok I started temping on Dec 29th my first temp was 97.63 I was CD 4, Dec 30th 97.61 CD 5, Dec 31st 97.57 CD 6, Jan 1st 97.80 CD 7, Jan 2nd 96.88 CD 8, Jan 3rd 97.34 CD 9, Jan 4th 97.39 CD 10, Jan 5th 97.13 CD 11, Jan 6th 97.43 CD 12 got a positive OPK, Jan 7th 97.65 CD 13 got another positive OPK, Jan 8th 97.94 Cd 14 got a negative OPK, Jan 9th 98.14 CD 15, Jan 10th 98.36 CD 16, Jan 11th 98.33 CD 17, Jan 12th 98,43 CD 18. The last four temps I done a lot of tossing and turning and I stretched some to so I don't think that they are that accurate. So please help me understand. I am thinking about temping earlier that what I have been cause I get disturbed a lot of times before I temp.  

I got a smiley face on my OPK yesterday. DH and I BDed last night and plan on BDing again tonight and tomorrow. I am lifting this all up to GOD now. It is all in his hands. I can do nothing now but just pray that this is my cycle. I am praying that GOD blesses us soon cause we think his mom is more less giving up on living. We are wanting to give her another grandchild. We would like to give her a grandson if GOD grants it of not another granddaughter. I want to give my DH a baby of his own to. By DD isn't his biologically but he has raised her from day one.