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Anxiety is back

Jan 11, 2013 - 0 comments

I have been ok for a few months now, well almost ok. I still have had times of anxiety and a lingering thought of another attack is always in the back of my mind. I wonder what it takes to get rid of this all together and for good? It seems like this is going to be part of my life. I just have to take the good with the bad. I was trying to ween of my amitriptyline recently which didn't go as planned. I ended up getting the flu which knocked me down pretty good. So I decided to go back to taking the amitriptyline again 25mg. I figure my day will come to get off of this stuff or mabye it won't. My main concern is this vibrating like feeling in my left foot. I have been checked out almost head to toe and doctors can't find anything. Blood flow is good, had an mri on my brain and that turned out good. I went for a cat scan of my stomach and intestines and that all came back remarkable! I got a scan of my l spine too and everything was ok there as well. So what is a person supposed to do or think about problems that arise in the body but all check out ok. I am so worried about this feeling in my leg. This feeling is why I get so upset it's the root of all my anxiety or at least I think so. I can feel it right now it's just vibrating. Sometimes I feel like it is throughout my whole body. Could it be nerve damage? I sure as heck can't figure it out and neither can any doctors. I recently met someone on this site that has a similar feeling. She described it as like an internal seizer feeling. I can understand that anxiety can cause all sorts of sensations, but so localized is what bothers me. Mabye one day I will find out and hopefully get rid of this.

Friday's ok

May 04, 2012 - 0 comments

Had a pretty good day today besides everyday stress my anxiety is staying out of the way. I have been feeling pretty good too. I know I have put my body through a lot the last couple of months. It's probably going to take a few weeks to feel 100% again, but at least I am moving in the right direction.

Much needed time off

May 02, 2012 - 5 comments

I just got back yesterday from a much needed vacation. I went to NJ to my cousins wedding. I haven't seen my cousin in 17 years since my parents moved me to FL. I love it up there the weather is so cool and crisp. I made some huge strides over this past week one of them being the plane ride. I am not afraid to fly. I am just afraid of having a panic attack on the plane which I did. It was a big one. First off all day I was anxious just nervous all day. Then when we got to the airport I was a full blown mess. We were waiting at the gate and my heart was pounding so hard. I felt like I wanted to run away.

     When we were walking down that little hallway to get on the plane I couldn't see straight my head felt like it would explode which eventually gave me a headache. I was shaking and had derealization so bad i felt like I was floating. I thought for sure I was going to lose it when they sealed up the plane and started off. I didn't though. Once I realized that nothing was going to happen I started to calm down. I felt a little dizzy when the plane took of due to the motion.

     I got to NJ and had a great time. I overcame a lot of anxiety on this trip and am really proud of myself. The way back was a breeze I acually fell asleep on the plane on the way home. Since I have been back though my wife and I have been fighting. It's back to reality I guess. As for my anxiety it is backing down quit a bit. I will continue to take one day at a time and today was a good day.  

    If there is one thing I can say to anybody with anxiety is face your fear and never run from your anxiety.It is so rewarding. If I didn't face my anxiety and get on that plane I would still be living in fear here at home. Mt confidence is very high right now and it feels really good.

One day of anxiety down

Apr 22, 2012 - 0 comments

Anxiety ran a little high today, but I didn't let it stop me. I went to church with my mother this morning. I havn't been to a Roman Catholic church since I was a kid. Mild panice attack in the begining but that went away and turned into a bit of tears. I grew up going to church. I went to a private catholic school when I was still in PA. Three days and I'll be in PA for my cousins wedding. I am going to see family I haven't seen in 17 years. It should be a blast.

I had a physically crudy day today. Just nasty, no matter what I did I just couldn't shake it off. So I didn't. I just felt like crap and that was that. Tomorrow will be a better day one panic attack closer to freedom. Don't have much in me today. I really don't want to talk about this anxiety today. Soon I won't have to cause it won't exist.