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Impatient

Jan 20, 2013 - 0 comments

So, the weight loss is slowing, and i feel like i never have the opportunity to eat the stuff i really want. I mean, icrave burgers, fries, desserts - well i do eat my atkins endulge bars and they taste great, but i feel like the harder i try, the less weight i am able to get off. i know why this is happening. its the carbs. i mean i am eating all the good carbs, only 2 type cereals (protein plus special k, and all bran buds), plus oatmeal, 100% whole wheat bread with high fiber, and lots of fruit, and vegetables. I barely eat any meat too. Mostly just the tuna in the packets that are like 80 calories. I been eating tons of salad too - green leafy salad. s i feel frustrated that this fat pad on my belly is shrinking so slowly. the i have to wonder if it's the steroids making it so much harder. it really may be that, because i have been on the steroids now for 7 months, and so i really may have to go the atkins approach to get the rest of this weight off. i mean i want to lose 40 more pounds or so. i know it is possible, but i dont want to give up my fruit. Just the thought of just eating meat, doesnt excite me so much. i dont know. i cant stop the steroids, b/c my RA wont let me do that. i have to pray on this. i am eating more natural now than i ever have before. i even have my family eating smarter and healthier, at least that which i prepare here at home. i am trying to keep my efforts up and not get discouraged. My skin looks so loose and wrinkly too. my boobs have almost shrunk down completely too. i look a mess. small top and big gut and butt. my midsection is just huge. i am trying to work on it though. i have to be more patient with myself. it will all pay off in the end. I know it will.

Pounds Down

Happy New Year

Jan 07, 2013 - 0 comments

Wow.
I have practically reached my 100 lb weight loss goal.
I am proud of this accomplishment. I am scared however that getting off this final 30 lbs that I want to lose will be difficult, and in addition I worry about not looking how I want to look. My skin is already getting loose and flabby. my rings are almost falling off my fingers. People are telling me not to lose too much more weight. But I have too. I am still obese. In fact my goal weight will put me in the pleasantly plump range. I feel likemabe I should set my long term weight goal a little lower. Maybe like 150 lbs.
I want to know how to keep my skin from looking so loose. It looks crazy. I pray my insurance will pay for me to have it removed, because it really is unsightly and I feel like it is going to keep me from wearing the attractive clothing I want to.
I feel good, but feeling self conscious about my body. I want to have a sexy body for my husband.

Pounds Down

I was sooo sick

Nov 27, 2012 - 0 comments

last week had the flu lost about 8 lbs b/c appetite was crap, but now I better and backto losing weight the appropriate way.
myabe if i can sick every few weeks, id have this weight off in no time.

anyway, i want to reach my goal so bad, but fear that at 165 lbs i may still not look like i want to. like my body still wont be right. i just feel wide and fat, but others say i look skinny. by comparison to this time last year i am much smaller but i certainly am not skinny. not by any means. i worry about being able to maintain my weight as well. i have been working so hard. i just dont want to get bored with the way i am eating now although i get my little rice and beans in, and even a few pieces of meat here and there. sunday i had some dessert. the kind with real sugar. that was delicioso. i should have a little treat from time to time really. so that way iti not like iam cheating myself, but learning how to incorporate the things i really enjoy eating and being able to watch the scale.

Pounds Down

PSC folks sooo Happy

Nov 07, 2012 - 0 comments

I went to my PCP and saw all the clinic folks, but I didnt go upstairs. Anyway everyone was raving about how much weightIhave lost andsaid my neck looks so skinny and one worker said I didnt need to lose anymore. Okay I clearly am still obese, so I still want to shed 47 more pounds,  it felt really good gettig all the compliments and encouragement. I feel like I am figuring out how to balance having occasional treats and other days being very focused and regimented with my diet. Ex: yesterday we were traveling and I jus had to have some sugar to try and stay awake. It was still hard though. I dozed a few times. I ran up 2 colossal flights of stairs and had to almost drag my legs upthe 3rd flight. We watched the marching band state finals and it was wa awesome. I ate half a bag of peanuts watching that - 3 servings by myself. I keep over doing it with these nuts but they taste sooo good, and they give my mouth something to do. I tried chewing gum, but that gets old. anway we were out so late andnow i am dead tired so i gotta go to sleep. unfortunately i have not had exercise these past 2 days. so i will have to make up for it somehow.

Pounds Down