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My WEIGHT - ate too many peanuts

Sep 20, 2012 - 0 comments

I am so put out this week.

I started at 216.2, and everyday have gained like .2 pounds til I hit 217 today. I am going backwards. What the hell.
I have eaten a few more calories than the past weeks, but that should not be making me gain weight back. I just shouldnt be losing as fast. I mean only one day did I break 1000 calories, and all the other days I have still been under the 1000 calories. Maybe it's because I ate too many peanuts at night. EVILLLLL Peanuts !!!!!

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Wooo

Sep 04, 2012 - 0 comments

I'm tired and my body is way tired. The posterior chamber of my left knee is giving me all kinds of fits. I have a dark spot with ulceration that hurts in the roof of my mouth that probably needs to be biopsied, removed or drained if it is an abscess before I develop osteomyelitis if that already isnt a problem.
In addition, I cant stop being so cold.Maybe I am running fever and dont realize it?
Bible Study was good tonight. The childrens arks with rainbow have turned out beautifully.
I have been sticking with my diet and not overeating so I have not had to induce vomiting anymore. In fact I feel good about keeping my daily calorie intake somewhere below 1000 calories. That ensures that I should lose at least 1 lb every 2 days. And yes I do weigh daily.
I have something funny going on lately. My urine smells like caramel. i'm gonna look that up, because the last time I studied this, that meant diabetes, but I am eating a carb controlled diet, so i do not understand how that might be happening.
I also having GI issues. so gassy. I think its from the pinto beans, topped off with oatmeal later.
My stomach is just upset, and my intestines are cramping. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that those beans might be over a week old. they still looked, and smelled good. they tasted good too.
They dont feel so good though going through the digestive process.
Woo Wee.
Too much flatulence.

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Okay

Sep 01, 2012 - 0 comments

i think after yesterday's make myself vomit episode, i have gone overboard today - exercising and trying so hard to eat not that much.
I mean not anorexic like, but I definitely feel like I deprived myself of food. This is not good. In fact i didnt eat any nuts and I love nuts. Now my stomach is growling, but really i should be sleep.
the one good thing i did do, is drink lots of fluids especially since i sweated so much.
i think what happened is that i was so thirsty and drank all those liquids that i didnt have any room in my stomach left for food. so by the time i was really feeling more hungry, it was already too late to eat. it really *****. i did eat a few strawberries tonight. trying to lose weight is so hard. i hate i let myself get like this in the first place, so now i have to practically deprive myself.
i gonna buy some salad greens tomorrow so i can have my filler food. that helps me get through.

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Am I going crazy

Aug 30, 2012 - 0 comments

Today I had a veggie hot dog, with mustard on a piece of 2 week old nature's own double fiber wheat bread.
It was absolutely disgusting and I felt so bad about eating it and wasting the 150 calories on it, that I made myself throw it up. Plus my stomach felt all bloated and nasty after eating it.
I think I am getting bad, becuase I fell so guilty about eating foods. It is like I have some sort of obsession. I think it is not healthy, and I weigh myself everyday, sometimes twice.
I want to lose weight so bad. I have to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to give me more power and control over my physical weaknesses.
I want to eat stuff, but then I feel bad when I eat. It's not healthy for me to be like this. I am getting cravings for all kinds of stuff. unfortunately my next free meal is not until I lose about 5 more pounds. That could take 2 more weeks. It is so frustrating. I need to get a grip.
If anyone else reads this, ya'll please for my strength in the Lord. He can help me overcome.  

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