went to see dr. eshette and got to where i needed to get with her. it seems we are definitely on the same page now that it has been the 3 overall session, but the 2nd session just talking about me. It makes things hard sometimes... i did wake up in the morning and was crying about things that were not triggered by anything but thought. I miss ella so freaking much. And lauren--who i also just found out she can't come with me cause she needs to find a job or something for financial reasons which i get....but.....****. Now it is just me here. I will be 18 on the 26th but, I have nobody to have a party with. No guys or girls who i am (sexually) involved with. no birthday sex. no cake i don't believe... just another day in which the government decides to say I am 1 year older than I was in 2011. It does really ******* depress me. I have best friends. But I have NO IDEA WHERE IM GOING TO BE ON MY BIRTHDAY FOR MY BIRTHDAY OR WHO I AM GOING TO BE WITH. This is truly what makes me extremely and irrevocably depressed. I still haven't had a call back from any place I have applied to so I suppose I will definitely be by that Smoothie King on Broughton St. after my 18th birthday and will surely be hired because my hours are 24/7 365. :(
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