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Time to put our beloved cat down??? PLEASE I need your opinions and help!

Oct 28, 2009 - 18 comments

So, as some of you know, I am almost 26 weeks pregnant and we have been very fortunate to have been able to sell our house and move into a new one this weekend.  Here's the situation with our cat...(we have two of them, we lost the third one to cancer last year at this time)

He is around 17-19 years old (we don't know the exact age as he was found).  For the past year or so, he has been unable, or unwilling, to use the litter box for urinating. We have been using puppy training pads and putting them down where he seems to go the most often and that helps.  For the past 6 months or so, he has been pooping outside the box as well.  Every day he is throwing up a number of times, and typically, right after he throws up, he has to poop. (For the record, I don't think nor have I ever thought that his lack of use of the litter box was a behavior issue.)  For a variety of reasons, in the past, we have decided not to seek medical care to treat his issues. My main belief being is that he was so old that it didn't seem right to do any costly and emotionally harming procedures (He has serious emotional issues and taking him in the car is enough to cause him to pee and poop on himself!).  Also, he has had blood, at times, in both his pee and his poop.  He also has a lump on his neck that has moved, but not really grown in size. However, for the last few weeks, he has been scratching at it and his jawline incessantly and now, seems to have a balance problem and will fall over while he's trying to scratch. He's always been an incredibly skinny cat, but he is still eating and seeking affection.  

I have an emotional bond with this cat (My husband has it with the other one, but we love them both) and I think that I am too close to see what's for the best...

Taking him to the new house would be 1) VERY emotionally traumatic for him and 2) his lifestyle would have to change SIGNIFICANTLY (he'd have to be sectioned off and have an area that he could be in, but wouldn't be able to be just walking around with us like he does now)...we just can't afford to have to replace the new carpets if/when he would pee and poop on them.  My husband believes that it is the right time to put him down, as his health hasn't suffered so much that it has affected his quality of life. But that if we wait, we could be putting him at risk of being in serious pain or suffering in the future. I have only had one experience with putting a loved pet down and it was the cat that we lost to cancer. I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do, but we opted for a home visit from a QUACK of a doctor and the experience was so horrendous that I do not exaggerate when I say that I have been scarred for life from it!!!!

Please don't write telling me what we should have done in the past, as it is in the past and there's nothing that I can do to change that. But if you could tell me what you would do in this situation, I would appreciate it.  I know that it is a personal decision, but I am the kind of person that benefits from knowing what others would do. I am just so concerned that I am not going to live with myself for doing this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I appreciate your feedback. We have an appointment scheduled for him for this evening and I am just really scared that I am not making the right decision.  

Prayers needed to sell our home, please?!?

Aug 24, 2009 - 9 comments

MEDHELP moved this from the Pregnancy Forum where my 'cyber-friends' are, so I'm writing it here...thank you for taking the time to read it!


So, after wanting to move for years, DH finally agreed last week to talk to a realtor and sell our home.  As I was letting our neighbor know, she informed her neighbor who indicated an interest in buying it.  They came over today and genuinely seem to love the place and said that they just need to crunch numbers to see if they can afford it (They are renters of a duplex down the street).

I am asking for prayers, as it would be a HUGE blessing to have this sell without paying the realtor fees, etc. Not to mention the lack of stress on me for showings, open houses, etc. (I watch two children in my home and being 16 weeks pregnant, it is VERY stressful to even imagine having to 'clear out' in less than an hour's notice!)

I know that there are a number of women on this site who are very religious and while this isn't directly related to my pregnancy, it is related (a bigger home would go a LONG way to reduce the stress of bringing our baby home), so, if you could take a minute to say a prayer to St. Joseph or whomever that we sell this house quickly and with profit, I would be very grateful!  I could really use all the voices in heaven that I can get ;)

Thank you!


I am so torn about what to do with the child that I care for.....

Aug 21, 2009 - 6 comments

So, I've been watching this little boy since he was just about 3 months old.  He's now 18 months.  From the time that I started watching him, I was keenly aware that the mother really didn't want to hear what I had to say about him (concerns about eating, sleeping, etc. were usually just ignored).  The only thing that she ever paid attention to was when I told her that I was concerned about him holding his head on his shoulder (He didn't lift it straight..it was always crooked!). Later that week or the next, she told me that she had a doctor's appt for him and he'd be coming late. That was it...of course, being me, I inquired as to what the appt was for, as I knew it wasn't time for a well-check. She told me that after I mentioned his head/neck, they looked at pictures of him and all of them were like that, so she looked online and thought that he had some tightening of the neck muscles. She later told me that the doctor confirmed that diagnosis.

Side note - I was a bit frustrated by this situation, as I felt that she went to the doctor and said "I think he has X" and the doctor agreed INSTEAD of saying "My child acts like this, demonstrates that, etc." and let the doctor do the diagnosing. But whatever.  

So, he started physical therapy about 6 months of age, I guess. I kept thinking that the PT would find the other things that I was concerned about...his hip seemed stiff, his back seemed crooked, etc. But she's always said 'he's fine' when I'd ask about it.

She has NEVER volunteered any information about his doctor's visits or his general attitude or anything. A very difficult woman to talk to!

So, now, he's 18 months old and my concerns have only grown. The only word that he says consistently is 'Daddy' and sometimes "baby" (I now watch a 2 month old, too!)  The mother came back from his latest doctor's appt and for the first time, volunteered that she had made a list of the words that he says to be able to tell the doctor and he says 30 words. I couldn't even hide my shock.  When I told her that he doesn't say anything close to that with me, she basically ignored my statement and kept talking about how the doctor was so impressed because at this age, 10-15 words is normal.

So, my first emotion was frustration that she could be so blind to her own child.  That, EVEN if he was saying 30 words at home with them (which I don't believe and no one that is around him at my house believes it either), but EVEN if it was true, wouldn't it cause you concern as a parent that the same child who says 30 words with you isn't saying anything with the person that they are spending 30-40 hours a week with?

But now, I am stressed. There are so many examples of things that are just 'not right' with him.  How he can spend so long just picking toys out of a basket and putting them back in; never really playing with him. He won't sit on my lap to be read a book to, but only wants to flip the pages and then go to the next one. How he'll walk back and forth on my tile area for a long time, doing nothing but walking. How he can't roll over to his back from his stomach. How he can't walk down the stairs properly and to get up the stairs, still crawls them with his hands and feet..not using the railing. How he won't lift his arms to be held. How he doesn't talk at all....he does point and grunt, but there's not usually an end result to that; meaning if I get the thing that he is pointing and grunting to, he'll just point and grunt again at the same area.  How he doesn't run.  How he still swallows his food whole without really chewing it and still throws up/gags on food (he used to do this on his smooth baby food that he would gag and throw up and then the next bite, be fine)  How he won't play games or do anything imaginative with toys. When he draws (which has only been in the last week), everything is straight up and down lines in a row or on top of each other..nothing circular or sideways or just 'all over the place'

I also just took the M-CHAT, an early assessment for Autism and he failed it dismally.  But I know that if I say anything to them, they just dismiss me. They don't even acknowledge that I've said something (it's not like they agree or deny whatever I've said, they literally just IGNORE it)

I want to end my working relationship with them because it is so emotional and stressful for me to think that there is something wrong with this poor little child and they just aren't doing anything about it, not to mention...it is very hard to care for someone's child when they want nothing to do with a cooperative or collaborative relationship.  But I also feel guilty for just turning my back to it and not fighting harder that something be done for him.

I know that you won't have the answer for me. I guess I just wanted to finally get it all of my chest (the M-CHAT today really put me over the deep end!!)

Thanks for reading and taking the time! Have a good day!

Rough Evening

Jul 20, 2009 - 3 comments

I wish that MedHelp would have more options for these symptoms. I'd like to be able to note that some of these were in the morning and others not until the afternooon.

But man, oh, man...what an afternoon. I felt great in Chicago (a little tired, but no food aversion and no nausea), and felt okay for most of yesterday.  Ate a good lunch and took a nap.  When I woke from the nap about 4ish, my whole day changed. I had a massive headache and was so sick to my stomach....even trying to think about what to eat made me sick.  I was burping like a truck driver...no offense to truck drivers ;) and (tmi warning), bile and reflux was coming up all night.  

Who knows why it kicked in when it did...especially after being good for so many days.  But I guess the baby is growing just fine?!? And that makes it all worth it. I do wish I had my NT u/s this week instead of having to wait for next week. I have no idea how I am going to make it 4 weeks when I am finally on my regular once-a-month appointments!!!

Hope everyone has a great day!

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