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Getting burned out on drive-bys

Sep 07, 2009 - 5 comments

I hate to say it, but I think I'm starting to get judgmental about the people posting in the heart rhythm forum, and I'm getting snooty about who I'll take the time and answer.  

It seems like for months all you see is a people making a single, frantic post.  You reply, and then you never see or hear from them again.  And maybe their symptoms went away.  Maybe they died (eeks).  Or maybe they just don't seem as grateful as I would expect them to be.  As grateful as I was when I first started posting in the heart rhythm forum.  

So now I check their user info before I reply.  If they just registered today, I'll tend not to take my time responding because odds are, they won't be heard from again.  

Am I being snooty?  I just feel burned out, and a little appreciation can go a long way.  I don't know how Jerry_NJ does it, day after day, answering all the threads that nobody else answers.

Glad to see cardio, but afraid to see cardio

Feb 04, 2009 - 3 comments

Now that my family doctor has seen my rhythm strips he wants me to see a cardiologist.  I suppose that's a good thing, to have a specialist take a look to make sure everything is OK, but at the same time, it's dragging out the stress and worry that much longer.  It sounds like the intent of the appointment is a consultation where we'll discuss medication options and such.  Didn't sound like additional tests would be scheduled (at least not at this point).  

I'm really apprehensive about the prospect of being placed on a life-long medication, and would like to avoid it if I can.  Even though I'm 40, I still feel pretty young and am in pretty good shape.  I still do all the things I did when I was 20, just maybe not as fast or as hard as I used to.

But the fear has a grip on me.  I find myself nervous about physically exerting myself, feeling like I'm taking a leap of faith each time I get on the treadmill that I'll be getting off the treadmill under my own power.  A big part of that is because nobody (except a brief chat with the event monitor nurse) has been able to tell me what they see, what it's called and if it's dangerous.  I assume it's not immediately so, otherwise someone would have called me in to the ER.  But I also assumed someone was reading my rhythm strips for the last week, and nobody was.

Damn.  Yesterday afternoon I was feeling pretty calm and confident, and today I'm a ball of nerves.  I hate this.

Caught Ya!

Jan 31, 2009 - 4 comments

Caught one of the runs of rapid heart rate today.  At the time it happened it felt like my heart was flopping in my chest, but when I transmitted it, I could tell by the sound that it was a very brief run of a fast rhythm.  Probably 6 beats when there should have been 4, then my heart shifted back into a different gear and resumed normal beating.

Oddly, I was a little relieved when the arrhythmia happened - now someone with trained eyes will be able to have a look at what's going and determine if I should stop worrying or if we need to consider a medication or something.

Just need to wait 'till Monday.

Stupid Monitor

Jan 28, 2009 - 3 comments

I need a place to vent.

I hate this event monitor. And I'm not too happy with my heart, either.  I think the two are conspiring to make me lose my mind.

I pressed the button to record based on what I saw on the monitor's screen, then when I sent it in, the sounds the monitor made were a lot like a prison chain gang - strong, constant and reliable.  Not zooming from 65 to 161 back down to 74.

Made one recording because I was feeling jittery, checked my pulse and felt three quick (non-PVC) beats, then back to the regularly scheduled programming.  The sound the monitor made when transmitting that recording sounded awful!  Like Yoko Ono in concert.

Ug, this is getting really old.  I want this to be over.  I wanna be better already.