Feb 04, 2009
Now that my family doctor has seen my rhythm strips he wants me to see a cardiologist. I suppose that's a good thing, to have a specialist take a look to make sure everything is OK, but at the same time, it's dragging out the stress and worry that much longer. It sounds like the intent of the appointment is a consultation where we'll discuss medication options and such. Didn't sound like additional tests would be scheduled (at least not at this point).
I'm really apprehensive about the prospect of being placed on a life-long medication, and would like to avoid it if I can. Even though I'm 40, I still feel pretty young and am in pretty good shape. I still do all the things I did when I was 20, just maybe not as fast or as hard as I used to.
But the fear has a grip on me. I find myself nervous about physically exerting myself, feeling like I'm taking a leap of faith each time I get on the treadmill that I'll be getting off the treadmill under my own power. A big part of that is because nobody (except a brief chat with the event monitor nurse) has been able to tell me what they see, what it's called and if it's dangerous. I assume it's not immediately so, otherwise someone would have called me in to the ER. But I also assumed someone was reading my rhythm strips for the last week, and nobody was.
Damn. Yesterday afternoon I was feeling pretty calm and confident, and today I'm a ball of nerves. I hate this.