Feb 27, 2009
February 27th. Found out today I didn't get the job downstairs on the second floor. So stressed out this week. Had a fight with my boss. Tired of fighting. I just want to get along - come in, do my job, go home. Why is that so hard.
I think the only reason I didn't get the job downstairs is because I didn't apply fast enough. Another gal in my area got the job and she was so happy. She, like me, just wanted to escape the situation on the 3rd floor. I need to get it together and start reacting faster. She advised me to work with the HR person Keri. Keri helped her a lot and kept her upbeat. She had posted out 6 times in the last 6 months and finally got this job. I was really happy for her, but bummed for myself.
I just feel like crying. Got a call from another company last couple of weeks. She was so positive and said she thought I had some great experience. Thought I had a chance, but someone else got that job too. I will keep applying for other jobs with this company. You never know. But I can't help but feel defeated sometimes. Ugh.
I really need to make a point of going to a yoga class down the street and trying to relax and meditate. Think it would help. I'm so wound up. Couldn't hardly sleep at all this week. I am exhausted.
Notice when I am stressed, I head for the food. Need to find another passion besides eat. Does hurt that the weather is bad. Did jog 3x this week though. And next week it will be in the 40's. So I will get out. But still......just need to hang in there. Glad I can vent in this journal. Feel like crying. I have felt like crying all day. Guess I could call a friend or my mom. I know they don't mind. But hate to always call with bad news. I want to tell them something good. They vent to me too, so no biggie. Just want to get through the negative and defeatest thoughts and find a happy place.
Think I will put on a movie and try to relax. I'm stuff. Ate pizza for dinner. Dumb dumb dumb. It was great though. Anyway, I did go to the store this week and I have plenty of fruit. I'll start writing down what I eat again. That might help. Maybe I should track it online.
Tired of writing now. Think I'll cruise an art museum website. Let me see, what state? Never been to Boston, MA. I'll look for a museum there. Bye......