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Mar 10, 2008 - 1 comments

Lately, my lower back has been the key problem in my life. I've had to use crutches to get around off and on now for the last 4 months.

I am a student/ out of state (from where I'm originally from) and I can't get the medical care I truly need, so after this semester I am going to move back home.

I was told I may have to go thru back surgery.

I was told I may have to get my gall bladder removed.

I was told I may need surgery in my hands due to the numbness, but lately it hasn't bothered me. Thank God.

I am doing OK here at school. I let go of friendships that aren't true or real.

I've been singled out by everyone in my major due to letting go of those friendships, but hey, I am a better person than settling for those who want to party, fight, drink, and pass rumors on in the name of others just for thrills.

So, it's kind of hard to be here, but I'm mananging OK. I can't just drop out because I don't have the money to pay everyone back who has been helping me and I need to bring up my GPA in order to transfer to a University...I'm tired of this small art college.....the instructors are great though, but student wise, it's just like a glorified high skool where everyone gets college credit.......ramblings ......... my apologies.....

Medically, Me

Dec 10, 2007 - 1 comments

My health is very, very delicate. There is so much going on with me medically that I don't understand. I am writing this journal for myself, so I can learn to make sense of everything that is going on with me. I am 29 years old right now. I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure almost two years ago. I quit having my periods when I was 20. And, come to think about it, I think my menstral cycle has always been irregular after the first year I started. I was in 5th grade. (don't know what age and right now I'm so tired that I don't want to count back that far). LOL.

I don't recall if it was actually diagnosed, (some reason I am thinking yes), but I was diagnosed with Chronic Pancreatitis and Cholostatitus (spelling?).  I have no idea what any of those two words mean. I have been told a few times, but medical terminology doesn't register in my mind. I know I can't afford to be careless, but at the same time, I guess I am just scared by those big words.

I keep getting major, major numbness in my hands and feet/ toes and fingers. Diabetes is HHUUGGEEE in my family and I am wondering if that is what's going on with me in that respect?

For years now, I have had major, major abdominal pains. Nausea and vomiting usually comes with that chronic abdominal pain. Sometimes the abdominal pain is excruciating that I'm up in tears all day and all nite and all the next day; while other times, there will be long periods of time before the pain and vomiting comes back. How scary is that????

I don't know why my health is like this? To make things a bit more complex, I have really bad arthritis in my lower back. I have two fractured disks in my lower back, which I am thinking contributes to the arthritis? But also, I don't know if my Premature Ovarian Failure plays a part in this as well? Hhhhmmmm......Questions, huh.

So yeah, medically, this is Me. Outside of my medical conditions, I am living my life with an upbeat personality making all of my dreams come true. Nothing is holding me down from making everything I want to come true, come dreams are waking up right in front of my eyes and  I am truly grateful and humble for this to be happening to me............_ L