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Why is everyone standing on their heads

Oct 09, 2012 - 0 comments

Everything that was ever the truth or fact, is now the opposite. The man I thought to be so amazing, soulful, honest, faithful, loyal, honorable with deep integrity, has basically shown me or told me that it was all an act. Like I've been participating in a play completely unaware of it. How can I ever trust myself to know truth in anything ever again.

I fear sleep because the pain that greats me when I wake is terrifying

Oct 09, 2012 - 0 comments

It seems like mornings and bed time, really will be the death of me. Getting to sleep no matter how exhausted I am, is a torturous waiting game. And long before my alarm wakes me, and usually before the sun even has fully risen I'm awoken by the intense pain in my soul, like its aware of the fact the other half of it has been gone so much longer then ever before, and it wakes up like a child screaming out in fear because of all the darkness closing in. Nothing comforts me, nothing makes the pain go away, I fear sleep because I'm terrified of the pain I know is waiting when I wake. I miss that special place on his chest where I had always fit perfectly like puzzle pieces. I missvall of him, how could I have allowed us too come to this? I'm so sorry babe

I've lost my movie partner

Oct 09, 2012 - 0 comments
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Lost

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movies

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Love

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married

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Relationships

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thoughts



A commercial for the movie "Sinister", coming out Friday. My instant thought was, omg that looks awesome, can't wait to see that with...:'( oh ya thats right, no more movie nights with my husband... We have always shared a mutual obsession for horror films, even the ones we know are goin to suck, the first date night after we got married was, Insidious, and our one yr wedding anniversary we saw, Cabin in the Woods. This mutual passion was one of the very first bonds we formed. No one around me can even slightly tolerate my taste in movies. As our relationship deteriorated, we stopped going to movies, or anything we once had in common, even fighting if the other suggested doing one of the activities that once connected us. I miss him, and us so much. I miss my partner,companion, friend, love

That almost killed me, but I survived

Oct 09, 2012 - 0 comments

I went to his house while he was at work today (as he and I discussed) and packed 90% of my things, having to leave some books and stuff because of no room. But anything slightly personal came with me. I hardly remember a thing other then his mom and brother telling me horror stories of the evil thing currently possessing my husbands body. Ouch I can't believe I survived that with only one hyperventilating episode as I began taking my boxes from the room. Collapsed and began sobbing under all the emotion I had been suppressing in order to get any packing done.